We Fell Too Fast
by MethodicWays
Summary: This is a Craig & Manny fic currently up through "What it Feels like to Be A Ghost" though I'll be jumping forward to Degrassi Goes to Hollywood and then ending soon after that.
1. We Fell Too Fast

_We Fell Too Fast_

Author's Note: This is mainly a Cranny fanfic although I will be incorporating as many characters as possible. It will be like an episode of the show except that Craig/Manny will always be either the main or sub-plot of the show. I am trying hard not to make people go out of character and I appreciate comments, because I want to be as true to the show as possible. Oh and it has an R rating because my hope is to eventually get to some talk about sex etc. so be prepared.

* * *

Chapter 1

"So now I'm back with Ashley and things are great. Well, they were great until this whole bipolar thing happened". Craig looked over at the clock on the wall again. He knew he was rambling but he kept hoping if he talked alot they would let him leave sooner. He'd watched enough movies to know that the people who didn't talk got nowhere.

"Craig" his therapist said gently, "This "whole bipolar thing" as you call it didn't just happen. It was something that's been building. I mean from what you've been through anyone would have the same problems. It's not about you personally, it's about how you cope with what life has thrown at you. For instance, tell me more about this other girl Manny"

"Manny? What's so important about Manny? I mean it was a big mistake. I know I was wrong. What kind of guy does that to his girlfriend? It wasn't right. I know that, I knew that"

"But is it not right because it's not supposed to be or because you _think_ it's not supposed to be?"

"I don't get what you're saying. Cheating is wrong. I mean look at what happened. I ended up alone, Ash got hurt, Manny got hurt ... She ...got rid of our baby"

"Why do you think she did that?"

"I don't really want to talk about it. It happened ... it's over. It wasn't meant to be"

"But did you want it to be over? Did you think it wasn't meant to be?". Craig sat uncomfortably in his chair. It was the one question he wasn't ready to answer. As he sat there, the minute hand moved over signalling the end of the hour. Craig jumped out of his seat.

"Time's up", he said pulling his coat on.

"Craig, I want you to do something for me. Here. Sit back down"

"Ok but you can't charge me for the extra hour."

"Very funny, Craig. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to seriously consider having a joint therapy session with Manny"

"Manny? But we ... we barely talk to each other. She doesn't even know I'm in therapy".

"I think it could be worthwhile for the both of you. You both went through something very traumatizing and from what you've told me, neither one of you seems to have truly dealt with the repurcussions of Manny's abortion".

"It doesn't matter. The baby's gone. We're not a couple or anything"

"Craig, in life things don't just end when they don't work out. They continue to affect us and how we react to other situations. Your relationship with Manny might have only lasted a few weeks but that doesn't make it any less significant in your life".

"Are you feeling better Em?" Manny said handing her a glass of orange juice.

* * *

"I don't think OJ is going to cure what I've got so you can stop plying me with it".

"Sorry. I guess I'm taking the concerned best friend role a little too seriously"

"It's nice to have the best friend around though". Both girls smiled fondly at each other. Manny flopped down on the bed next to Emma and sighed.

"I guess we haven't really been spending too much time together, huh?"

"That's what happens when you get older. You move on" Emma said quietly.

"Well I don't want to move on from you, Em. No one can replace you".

"Liberty was about to. It seemed like she was your new nest friend".

"That's not true. But you have to admit what you did to her was wrong. Of course she wouldn't want to hang out with you after you sabotaged her with Chris. You were almost making an attempt to steal the slut/bad friend crown from me".

"You were never a bad friend, Manny" Emma said with a smile. Manny threw her pillow at her friend.

"Way to imply that I'm a slut Emma!" she screamed.

"Hey you said it first" Emma said laughing. The two of them fought for a while until the mood turned somber again. "Seriously, Manny what's happened to us?"

"I don't know. One day we were just corny little kids and before I knew it, I was pregnant, you almost got shot and then you contracted gnorrhea. I guess we're just screwed up", she said with a sigh

"Your baby would have been born by now" Emma said quietly. Manny wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"I know. He would have been about 2 months I guess".

"It's hard to imagine you being a mom"

"Yeah and Craig as the father" Manny scoffed, "That's funny. He hates me now"

"Craig does not hate you"

"He told me I was the biggest mistake of his life. I think that counts as hating someone. I don't know what to do, Emma. I'm so afraid that I'm screwed up forever because of last year"

"But you're with Spinner now. You two have fun together"

"It's not the same. With Craig I felt -- I felt everything. I was happy and sad and angry and excited. I couldn't control anything. With Spinner I feel like I'm just trying so hard to be normal".

"I don't know what normal is anymore".

* * *

"Hey there" Spinner said coming up behind Manny. When she turned around he kissed her softly on the lips. "How's my girl?"

"I'm good and busy. Ms. Hatsolakos wants me and Marco to come up with another school spirit event."

"Can't Paige do that?" Spinner said, "She is the head of the spirit squad"

"Paige has been busy" Manny said uncomfortably. Although she had tried, Manny could not forget seeing Paige and Mr. O in the hallway during the dance. "I'm kind of acting squad captain".

"Cool, I get to date the captain of the spirit squad a second time around".

"Haha Spinner". Manny said, shutting her locker.

"It was a joke".

"What's so funny?" Craig said coming up behind him.

"Um, nothing" Spinner said. Craig could sense the tension but he decided to ignore it and keep going. "So, um, I was wondering if we could have a band rehearsal"

"There isn't a band anymore, remember?" Spinner said looking at Craig suspicously.

"I know. And I'm sorry about what happened at the recording session, but Jimmy is getting out of the hospital and I want to do something nice for him. I was thinking we could have a welcome home party in the garage and then play for a while"

"Can Jimmy? Can he play?" Spinner asked uncomfortably.

"Spinner he's in a wheelchair, nothing happened to his fingers".

"So when are you planning this event. Will your fill-in piano player be at this rehearsal?" Spinner said sarcastically.

"Everyone will be there. You're invited too, Manny" Craig said finally meeting her eyes. She had been standing there trying to melt into the background. Besides Craig's most recent comments, being around him and Spinner was too weird. At first, when Spinner wanted to annoy Craig it was fun to throw their relationship in his face but ever since they'd been "dating" even being in the same school with Craig and Spinner was too close.

"Of course she's invited" Spinner said, putting his arm around her protectively. Manny stood there unsure of what to do.

"Yeah so, I guess I'll see you two there. This Thursday"

"Yeah _we'll_ be there" Spinner said. Craig looked at Manny. Her expression was tight and slightly pained. he decided to beat a hasty retreat. After he walked away Manny extracted herself from Spinner's embrace.

"I'm not too sure about this Spin" Manny said.

"Why not?"

"It's just that it will probably be your friends, you know Paige, Hazel, Marco, Ellie ... Ashley. You should celebrate Jimmy's homecoming with them and with Jimmy. You've barely seen him since the shooting"

"I don't even know if we're friends anymore" Spinner said, mostly to himself. "I really want you to be there", he said directly to Manny.

Manny tried to ignore the pit in her stomach that was telling her this was wrong. "I guess I'll go"


	2. Stuck in Motion

Author's Note: So at first I was building to a big confrontation at the party but in light of seeing "Eye of the Tiger" I decided to hold off and make everything more gradual. Plus it adds to the angst factor.

* * *

Chapter 2: Stuck in Motion

"Have you given anymore thought to what we talked about Craig?". Craig was back at counseling and once again they'd managed to work their way back to Manny.

"Can't you just say this is all my dad's fault and move on?" Craig quipped.

"Is that what you think? That this is all your dad's fault?"

"You've mastered that answering a question with a question thing haven't you?"

"It's in my job description" his therapist said with a smug smile "So what's your answer?"

"Do you know how hard it is just to say 'hi' to Manny? She's dating my friend/ex-friend I don't know what we are anymore because he hates me ever since I ran out on our recording session. Ash loses it whenever we're all within 100 yards of each other. And Manny probably hates me because I have word vomit and I told her she was the biggest mistake I ever made".

"You told her what?"

"I kind of told her that of all the mistakes I made last year, she was the biggest. I know it was wrong. Call it a bipolar moment. I didn't realize it until after I said it."

"You have alot to learn about 15 year old girls, Craig"

"I think I have alot to learn about girls in general"

"Like I told you before I think that this session could be beneficial for both of you. Actually you two might need a couple of sessions", his therapist said with a smirk.

"Chips coming through" Marco said pushing past Ashley and Hazel who were setting up a banner.

"To the left, ladies, it's off center" Paige said directing the placement. "No Hazel your side is too low"

"You could always do it yourself since you're sooo good at supervising Paige" Hazel said with a sarcastic sweetness.

"Oh no, hon. You're doing just fine" Paige said with one of her trademark grins.

"Where is Spinner?" Craig said walking into the garage. "Jimmy'll be here any second"

"Did someone say my name?" Spinner said walking up behind Craig. "I'm here to help". His voice held traces of false cheer.

"Good" Marco said, moving quickly, "I need help with snacks" He looked Spinner over. "Actually on second thought you're a snack hazard"

"I could help" Manny's voice came quietly from behind Spinner. Despite her volume, everyone noticed her arrival. Craig looked uncomfortably between Ashley and Manny.

"Ok, Manny and Marco, snacks. Spinner can help me with the instruments and music, Ash how's the decorating?"

"We'll be done soon" Ashley said.

"Don't worry about it, hon. This is a Paige Michalchuk production". Paige said taking control of the situation. "Jimmy'll never know what hit him"

* * *

"And the winner of the most uncomfortable entrance of the year is?" Manny said as she and Marco filled bowls with chips and party mix.

"So the icy welcome wasn't what you were going for?"

"Funny, Marco. I told Spinner this wasn't a good idea".

"Well you two are together now. This day had to come eventually".

"I was hoping to put it off a while longer. Like until after Spin and I break up"

"Anticipating the end of the relationship is not exactly a good sign".

"I didn't mean it like that ..."

* * *

"...I just don't think it was a good idea to invite her" Ashley said. She'd managed to corner Craig for a second, even though he'd been moving around like crazy trying to set everything up before Jimmy arrived.

"I had to. She's Spinner's girlfriend"

"Ughh. Don't even say it. Just because she managed to steal him from Paige doesn't make them a couple."

"I don't think she had to try very hard. Spinner's been hitting on Manny for weeks. And if Paige isn't upset, why are you?"

"Because Paige's boyfriend didn't have sex with Manny ... yet"

"Ash, I think you might be overreacting. And it's probably not going to make what I have to tell you any better."

"What?"

"My counselor, she wants me and Manny to do a session together"

"What?! Why?"

"She thinks that we need to discuss what happened last year. The baby, the abortion ... you know everything. But I don't want to do anything if you don't feel comfortable"

Ashely swallowed deeply. "I guess if your counselor thinks its important. I mean I want you to get better Craig".

"I don't want to do this if it's going to hurt us. You know you're all that matters to me. I would do anything for you"

"You need to do what's best for you, not me. We'll be ok..."

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay with this Manny/Spinner thing?" Hazel asked Paige apprehensively.

"What is there to be upset about? Spin's moving on and I am too"

"Moving on? With who?"

"No one in particular" Paige said, trying to change the subject. So far Marco was the only one she'd told about Mr. O. This was a weird situation. Any other time she'd be running around bragging about the hot older guy she was dating but that hot older guy was also her teacher. "So how is it having Jimmy back?"

"It's weird, ya know. One day he was playing basketball and now he can't even walk".

"Do the doctors think he'll walk again?"

"So far they don't know. They're not hopeful"

"I'm so sorry Hazel"

"Outta my way girls" Marco said, disrupting their conversation. Manny followed closely behind. "So is Jimmy coming soon?" Manny said after placing her bowls down.

"He should be here any sec" Hazel said looking at her watch. She was nervous. Ever since Jimmy was shot, seeing him had become a shock. It was like no matter how many times she told herself not to be affected she still stiffened when Jimmy didn't come striding into a room. It was taking its toll on Hazel but she was determined to stick it out ... so far.

* * *

The party was in full swing. After playing a couple of songs Jimmy just wanted to hang out and everyone was happy to oblige. Spinner was trying to inconspicuously avoid talking to Jimmy although no one had noticed except Jimmy himself. And despite Paige and Hazel fluttering around him like mother hens, Spinner's avoidance hadn't gone unseen by Jimmy. Ellie and Ashley were having a heated discussion while Craig listened in. Both Craig and Ashley would touch hands occasionally to acknowledge that the other hadn't left. It was as if they needed to remind each other that the other was there. Jimmy couldn't help observe the new closeness between them. They had been through a lot since the shooting. Marco and Manny were being silly in the corner discussing whatever it was that Marco discussed when he was hanging out with girls. Spinner sat next to Manny with his arm occasionally circling her protectively though Manny seemed uncomfortable at all the attention.

Jimmy was surprised at how much all his friends had changed. He'd only been in the hospital a few weeks but so much was different. Craig's new obsession with Ashely seemed unhealthy to him and Spinner and Manny's sudden relationship just didn't sit right either. In a way it was making him feel guilty because he knew the shooting and his paralysis was affecting his friends. And although none of it was his fault, Jimmy couldn't deny that what Rick had done was the catalyst for so many sudden changes in all their lives. They were all trying so hard to cling to something solid. Trying to forget, but no one was moving on.


	3. When It All Comes Out

Author's Note: I began this fic before "Eye of the Tiger" aired. In this chapter I'm working it into the story and then from there on I will try to leave the show alone (which shouldn't be too hard because there aren't any new eps on CTV or the-N for awhile). Having said that, this part will be mostly about Spinner and Jimmy with Cranny in the subplot. Thanks to **_starsprite22_** for the transcript from "Eye of the Tiger". Some of the Spinner and Jimmy scenes are directly from the episode.

* * *

Chapter 3: When It All Comes Out

The next couple of days were wonderful and hard for Jimmy. Adjusting to life back at school was complicated. He was happy to be out of the hospital but he didn't know if he could handle being reintroduced into the school so easily. It was hard rolling down these halls, that he once walked down. People looked at him with pitying and hopeful eyes. Unsure of whether to voice their concern and looking at hiim like any moment he would jump out of his wheelchair and assure them all that it was okay. It was a joke. The shooting had never happened and in the end it was all one bad dream. Jimmy wanted to thell them that it was the truth but it wasn't. All of his friends surrounded him with fake, cheery voices trying not to focus on their new situation but their false cheer was putting Jimmy more on edge than anything, The only one who seemed remotely normal was Spinner. He'd been right by Jimmy's side after their awkward encounter at the coming home party. Spinner was helping him get around and be comfortable but he wasn't hovering like Paige and Hazel and Spinner was not giving him those sad-puppy dog eyes Jimmy was accustomed to seeing from everyone else. After Spinner apologized for not visiting him in the hospital, it was like old times between the two of them.

* * *

"Hey hon, I was just going to catch up with Jimmy before his class let's out. See if he needs anything. Wanna come along?"

"I don't know Paige. This is getting to be too much" Hazel said, pressing her back against her locker.

"What are you talking about? This has been great so far. It's like Jimmy never left".

"No it's like Jimmy left and we're _acting_ like everything's the same. It's not. Jimmy might never walk again and it's tiring pretending like I'm ok with that" Hazel said.

"What are you saying Hazel? You don't want to break up with Jimmy do you?" Paige was stricken by the words coming out of her best friends mouth.

"No! I don't want to break up with him. I just -- It's different than I thought it was going to be. And I keep wanting him to get out of that chair and be ok. When I look at him, I know it's not going to happen and he knows it too"

"You can't let him see you like that Hazel" Paige said determinedly, "Jimmy will get better" 'He has to', she thought to herself.

* * *

"Hey, Manny!" Craig said running to catch up with her in the hall. Manny's first urge was to run...fast. But she didn't think running down the hallway screaming, "Help me!" would do anything for her already tenuous popularity. Instead, she rolled her eyes in an attempt to scare Craig away.

Craig hesitated for a second but he realized that if he was going to get through this he had no choice. "Hey Manny"

"Hey Craig" Manny said, putting up a steely resolve. Craig remembered that face, it was the same one she had on when he lied about breaking up with Ashley.

"Are you headed towards the gym?"

"Yeah" Manny said slowly,

"Good I'll walk you" Craig said guiding her by the elbow. They walked for a while in complete silence and Craig knew Manny wasn't going to make this easy on him. "Sooooo....", he said nervously.

"So"

"Look Manny I -- I just wanted to apologize"

"For what?" Manny said, feigning innocence.

"Um, well for what I said the other day. You know ..." Craig trailed off.

"Oh, the other day! The other day when you told me I was the biggest mistake of your life. I had almost forgotten". Manny stopped abruptly. "Of course, how could someone forget being told that someone they _used_ to care about wants to erase them from their existence. I guess all that talk about us being a family was nothing but lies. It's a good thing I got rid of the baby after all!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Manny wished she could take them back. She still hurt every day over her decision to abort her child. And the look on Craig's face was enough to crush anyone. Unsure of what to say or how to explain herself, Manny spun on her heels and headed towards the gym leaving Craig staring after her.

* * *

"Alright before we head to the playoffs, the team would like to thank someone who helped get them there. Let's have a big round of applause for Jimmy Brooks!!" The gym erupted into thunderous applause, as Spinner took the microphone from Coach Armstrong.

"Hey um alright. Your name's already on here twice, but uh from now on Degrassi's MVP basketball award will be known as the Jimmy Brooks trophy!" Everyone continued to cheer and Jimmy wheeled his way onto the court to accept his award. Shyly, Jimmy took the mic.

"Um this is definitely a surprise. I guess all I can say is, uh we go for MVP number 3 next year right?! Go Panthers!". Jimmy was overwhelmed by the outpouring of emotion, but the moment was bittersweet. Even though the MVP trophy was named after him, it hurt to know that he would never be accepting it again. His days playing ball were over.

Later that afternoon, Jimmy sat in the gymnasium attempting to make a basket. He flipped the ball up. It bounced and landed pathetically near his chair. He couldn't even pick it back up! He turned when he realized Spinner was in the gym with him.

He acknowledged Spinner with a nod "Just trying to do a lay-up".

"Better watch traveling if you wanna be back next year, right?" Spinner quipped.

"There won't be a next year Spin", Jimmy sighed. "My basketball career, my whole future is gone. Just like these two pieces of me." He pointed to his legs uselessly.

"Dude don't".

"Look stuck in a bed for three months, you can't stop thinking --"

"About getting better man and you will!"

"About Rick and how I rode him just as hard as you guys! Even harder".

"Yeah but you didn't set up the paint". Spinner bowed his heaad. The weight of his guilt was getting to him.

"I know, but that doesn't change anything does it? Rick put me in this chair for life. For life!" Jimmy yelled. Suddenly, he got quiet. "Sometimes I just wish he had better aim, finish the job."

"You don't mean that!"

"How do you know what I mean. Are you in a chair? Do you wake up every morning thinking you can walk and then remembering that you will never, ever walk again?! It's not your fault. It's mine".

Spinner was fighting a battle within himself. He knew how to console Jimmy, but he didn't know if he had the courage. Resigned, Spinner plunged into the unknown. "In the bathroom after, after we dumped that stuff on Rick…me and Jay…told him you were behind it".

Jimmy sat in stunned silence before answering. He didn't want to believe the words coming out of Spinner's mouth. "And then he shot me" Jimmy said almost to himself. Unable to say anything more. Jimmy wheeled away turning his back on his former friend.

* * *

The next day, at school news had already spread amongst their friends. Spinner entered the building unsure of what he would encounter. He wouldn't have to wait long.

"You actually showed up today", Craig said coming up to Spinner at the school entrance. Marco followed closely behind.

"Nobody wants to see you Spin. You've done enough damage".

"Exactly" Spinner said trying to move around them, "And now I have to fix it".

"Then go fix it someplace else, far away from Jimmy" Craig said, staring him down.

"And that includes the party tonight alright?", Marco chimed in, "Make other plans".

Spinner moved past them, dejectedly. When he looked up he spotted Manny down the hall.

"Manny!", he cried out. She was laughing when she heard his voice. Time seemed to slow as their eyes met. Manny looked at him as if he was a stranger and walked away. From down the hall, Craig watched as Spinner set off, alone.

* * *

"And then he nearly drove drunk. He could've killed someone! ... Again". Craig was sitting in his therapy session relating the last developments of his life.

"Do you really think Spinner is responsible for Rick's death?" his therapist asked taking notes.

"Well, not directly. But he did sic Rick on Jimmy. That's unforgivable. And now that he's been expelled he's become self-destructive. It's like he hasn't learned anything"

"Craig, you should know better than anyone, that we don't always do what's best for ourselves. Especially when we're acting out of guilt".

"What do you mean?"

"When you got that money from your father, why did you spend it on that guitar?"

"Because I wanted it. I deserved it. It was my money"

"Even though you told me Joey needed that money to help around the house?"

"But I didn't buy that guitar out of guilt"

"Craig, you said sometimes you feel bad about what happened to your father" His therapist looked him directly in the eye. "Why? He was horrible to you right? He made you afraid. He drove your mother away. He _hurt _you Craig. Why do you feel sorry for a man like that?"

"I don't know", Craig said squirming, "He didn't always mean those things. And if my mom hadn't left ... if I hadn't left ..."

"Do you think that if you had stayed with your father, he would still be alive? Do you think spending his money, is like getting rid of his memory? Getting rid of your guilt?"

"It's not that simple".

"Guilt never is." is therapist said knowingly "And it rarely manifests itself in any positive way"

* * *

"I can't believe what Spinner did!" Emma exclaimed. She and Manny were on their way to their lockers to put their books away before lunch. "To think I almost got shot! Jimmy did get shot. How could he pull that prank on Rick? How could he let him think Jimmy was responsible? Thank God you dumped him, Manny"

"I haven't dumped him yet, Emma", Manny said, spinning the dial of her combination lock.

"You're kidding me right?" Emma said as Manny stuffed her books into the locker. "He almost got us all killed".

"Don't you think he's been through enough? His friends won't speak to him, he got expelled. I don't know if I can desert him too".

"But the other day you told me you would never speak to him again".

"Well that was before I saw how far this whole thing has gone. Deserting Spin isn't going to help anything. Marco told me he almost drove drunk. He's becoming self-destructive. I know what it's like to feel like you're not worth anything. And so do you. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of everyone judging people". Manny slammed her locker shut and walked away leaving Emma stunned.


	4. Holiday Memories

**Author's Note:** Ok so there's been a whole big debate at DegrassiTNGHO (Yahoo! group for those who don't know) about the fact that it's not winter yet at Degrassi despite the fact that this time last year, we were seeing "Holiday" and there definitely was snow! So because this is a Cranny fic and "Holiday" was the BEST Cranny episode ever, forget what you've seen on the show, it is officially winter at Degrassi, at least for the next couple of chapters of this story. Also it helps me if it's winter break because that means Spinner's expulsion is coming right before a school break. So that's where we're at folks.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Holiday Memories**

The snow fell down gently as Manny made her way over to Emma's house. The two of them hadn't been speaking and with Christmas on the way, Manny didn't want the holidays to come with her and Emma still fighting. Lately it seemed like everytime she and Emma became friends again, something pulled them apart and although Manny tried to ignore it, they were growing further apart. Somehow, though Manny was determined to not lose Emma as a friend. She'd already lost too much. As Manny got nearer to the house she saw Mr. Simpson's long body struggling with the Christmas tree in his arms. There was someone else on the other side, probably Mr. Jeremiah, but he was dwarfed by the size of the huge fir tree. Mr. Simpson on the other hand was never dwarfed by anything.

"Hi, Mr. Simpson!" Manny called out. "Can I help you with anything?" She asked politely. Snake stopped struggling with the tree for a second.

"Oh no, Manny. You let the men handle this. Right, Craig?" Without warning, Craig's shaggy head popped up from behind the gigantic tree. Manny stood there, shock registering on her face.

"Um, yeah" Craig said, "We got it Manny. Don't worry".

"Emma's inside" Snake said oblivious to the tension between the two teenagers. "And please stay and help us decorate this monstrous thing, Manny. We could definitely use your yuletide cheer". Just then Snake's grip slipped and Craig broke eye contact with Manny to help him get control of the tree. Manny walked into the house, quickly leaving the two to get the tree under control.

"Manny!" Angela said barreling towards her. Manny was surprised to see that the once tiny little girl was now taller and even more gangly. She was growing fast and because of her and Craig's strained relationship, Manny hadn't seen the girl in a long while. "Manny, guess what? Daddy got me new ice skates. He's gonna take me skating tomorrow. Wanna come?" Before Manny could answer, the hyper-energentic girl pressed on with more questions. Manny wondered when she was going to take a breath.

"Angie, go help Craig with the Christmas tree. I think he and Snake could use another hand" Joey said entering the room. Without a backwards glance, Angie was already out the door.

"Thank you, Mr. Jeremiah" Manny said with a sigh. Now that she didn't have the hyper little girl jumping all over her, Manny was finally able to take off her jacket.

"No problem" Joey said with a grin. "Call if you need me to run Angie-interference again".

"It's ok, Joey" Emma said entering the room, "We can handle Angie"

"Ok, Have fun girls" Joey said heading back into the kitchen. Without Joey to fill up the room, Emma and Manny looked awkwardly to each other. Emma stood there with baby Jack in her arms. He, too, seemed as if he were waiting for something to happen between the two girls.

"Soooo" Manny said in an attempt to be funny.

"I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you might be at Spinner's helping out with Christmas decorations"

"That's not fair Emma"

"It's not fair of you to ditch me for that immature bully who almost got us all killed"

"Emma, we're not together anymore!" Manny said, the words coming out of her in a violent rush. "I broke up with him". Emma stood in silence, unsure whether to back down but not really wanting to fight anymore.

"What about that speech you gave me? About how Spinner didn't deserve to be expelled and blown off by everyone?"

"I haven't stopped being his friend" Manny said softly, "It wasn't going to work out anyway. I wasn't ready." She looked Emma steadily in the eyes. "But I'm not going to leave him alone to hurt himself or someone else. I'm not going to stop being his friend. Just like I don't want to stop being your friend".

Emma looked down at her feet. Hot tears burned behind her eyes. Even with all that happened, she still felt unsure of herself. Like she would never be that old Emma. Her first instinct was to continue to push Manny away. To make Manny hate her the way she hated herself. And although she was loathe to admit it, Emma could understand the way Spinner must be feeling, and she knew where she would be if she didn't have a friend like Manny to pull her back. Slowly, she breathed in. "I understand", Emma whispered. "I understand why ... why you need to be there for Spinner. Even if I don't like it"

"Em, it's Christmas. I just want us to be ... you know Christmas-y. I want us to go skating and eat candy canes, just for right now can we not be angsty teenagers?"

Emma stood in silence listening to the laughter as Angie, Craig and Snake struggled to fit the tree through the front door. "Well that shouldn't be to hard with Angie around" Emma said with a slow smile. "You are staying to help decorate the tree, right?" Emma glanced at the front door where Craig was pulling the treetop while Snake pushed on the other side. "I mean if we ever get the tree in the door". The two of them smiled mischieviously at each other, but Manny looked back at Craig again, anxiously.

"Maybe, I should go home" Manny said. Recognizing the look of discomfort on her friend's face, Emma leaned over and whispered. "Don't worry, Ashely's at her dad's for her "big-gay Christmas" and it's just us and Caitlin and Joey. It'll be fine". Although slightly unsure, the need to bond with her best friend won out over being afraid of Craig.

"I'll stay".

"Great! Manny's staying for dinner Mom!" Emma yelled.

"Emma, stop shouting", Spike said entering the room, "I'm glad you're here Manny". Spike embraced the younger girl. "It's so nice to have you here. I feel like we barely see you anymore".

"Thanks for having me, Spike". Manny said with a smile. She hadn't really talked to Spike much since her abortion but Manny was forever grateful to Spike for her help. One of the good consequences of that time was now she and her mom had a much more open relationship and Manny didn't have to depend so much on Emma's mom for those girl talks.

"So Manny, you're staying?" Joey said coming over, "Angie'll be so excited".

"Yeah, we're glad to have you", Snake said, finally entering the house with the tree. We're going to need all the help we can get decorating this monster". Snake and Craig had finally gotten the gigantic tree settled in the living room. The both of them breathed a sigh of relief as they set it down. Just then Caitlin entered the room.

"Oh, that's all wrong. Do you think you boys could move the tree to the other side of the room?"

"No!" Craig and Snake shouted, before they collapsed on the couch in exhaustion.

* * *

They were finally finishing up with the tree after Joey and Caitlin went out to purchase extra ornaments. The adults were all drinking eggnog and running in and out of the kitchen to help Spike with dinner and steal tastes of her cherry pie. Angie was keeping all of the teenagers occupied with her exuberance. She was like a whirlwind pulling them all in and soon they were all on the floor playing games and trying to tire out the energetic girl. Soon they were all a pile of limbs on the floor.

"Craig stop! No!" Angie protested giggling. Craig was tickling her relentlessly. "Manny save me!" The little girl threw herself at Manny in an attempt to escape from her brother. Without pause, Craig launched himself at the two girls and wound up with Manny in his arms. The two of them stared into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity. "Craig, come chase me!" Angie said breaking their gaze.

"Here comes, Craigzilla!" Craig said chasing after Angie, who ran away screaming. Manny stood there with watching as Craig ran away from her. She didn't even turn as Emma placed a hand on her shoulder.

* * *

Jimmy sat gazing into the roaring fire that his dad had insisted upon even though they had plenty of heat in their house. He was so engaged in watching the kindling burn that he was slightly startled when Hazel appeared at his side.

"Hot chocolate?" she offered hesitantly.

"Thanks", Jimmy said taking the mug from her. The warm liquid felt soothing to his throat.

"Enjoying yourself?" Hazel said teasingly, as Jimmy went back to watching the fire in front of him.

"I'm just thinking" Jimmy replied.

"Yeah, you've been doing that alot lately", Hazel said quietly. "Thinking about what?"

"Last Christmas", Jimmy said honestly, "Before we were together, when me and Spin were friends, before ... the shooting"

"I know it seems like so long ago". Hazel looked down at Jimmy and tried to keep her eyes from straying to his legs but it seemed like she couldn't stop herself from staring.

Jimmy looked directly at her. "No, it doesn't seem like that long ago. It seems like just yesterday".

* * *

After dinner, Craig pulled out his guitar. "Ok. Family sing-a-long time!". He knew he was being corny but after all the stress he'd caused this year, Craig was determined to make this the best Christmas Angie and Joey ever had. Joey and Caitlin were finally together, Angie was starting to forget that terrible day he'd fought with Joey, things were getting back to normal .... or as normal as they ere ever going to be with his "condition".

"I wanna sing 'Jingle Bells' Craig!" Angie said.

"Alright, Jingle Bells it is, Angie-cakes" Craig begin playing and everyone joined in. Spike and Snake sat on the couch with baby Jake, who was starting to fall asleep despite the chorus of off-key singers around him. Caitlin was sitting in Joey's lap, while they pretended to pay attention to what was going on in the room though they were totally engrossed in each other. Emma and Manny were singing full out and giggling as they inserted random words into the Christmas carols without anyone noticing. Craig noticed that they'd been acting like little kids all night, whispering and giggling at everything. It reminded him of last Christmas. He remembered how Manny had looked the day he saw her at the skating rink. Her hair whipping out behind her as she skated, the smile on her face as the cold air hit her ... the happiness in her eyes when he told her how he felt about her.

"'Silent Night', Craig" Angie said as the song ended. Craig pulled himself out of the memories and began to tune up his guitar before the next song. Manny and Emma went into the kitchen to steal some more Christmas cookies while Craig took a break.

"Thanks for inviting me to stay Emma", Manny said, while chomping on Spike's sugar cookies, "This was great. We have to promise to do this more often. No matter what"

"Sure, as long as you promise not to eat us out of house and home" Emma said laughing at how Manny was stuffing her face with cookies.

"Very funny, Emma!" Manny said giggling. "I saw how many helpings you had at dinner. You think four is enough to tide you over for another hour?" The two of them walked back into the living room laughing as Craig started the song.

"Silent night .... holy night" Craig began singing. Fluidly, Manny joined in with him. "All is calm ... all is bright". Craig was surprised at how beautiful Manny's voice was. She sang the song simply and with clarity. "Round yon virgin Mother and child. Holy infant so tender and mild" They began to harmonize easily. Craig and Manny stared directly into each other's eyes. "Sleep in heavenly peace ... Sleep in heavenly peace". The silence hung in the air. They were unable to look away and once again, Craig found himself staring at Manny in wonder. Every time he thought he had her figured out, Manny surprised him. In his minds eye, he could see her like he'd imagined so many times, holding their child andsinging soft lullabies.

Manny looked at Craig in amazement but she was also unsure. It seemed like every time she'd decided on how Craig felt about her, he changed the rules. Every time she thought she'd steeled her heart against every thing he could throw at her, he would look at her like he'd never seen her face before and make her feel new. Uncertain of what to do, she broke their gaze. "I'm ... it's hot in here. I'll be right back" Manny said grabbing her jacket and stumbling to the door. The winter air slapped her as she walked ut onto the stairs. If it weren't for fear of pneumonia, Manny almost wouldn't have put on her jacket, she felt that hot. She pulled on the coat and stood there shivering in the cold trying to regain her composure. Afraid, she didn't turn when she heard the door slam behind her.

"Manny" She closed her eyes tight, trying to wish him away. "Manny". It wasn't working.

"Yes, Craig". When she turned around she was surprised at how close he was. He took his scarf, the scarf she'd made him, and wrapped it around her neck.

"You're going to get sick", he said. "It's really cold out here". He trailed off leaving a void of silence in his wake. Unable to take the silence any longer, Manny spoke.

"What do you want Craig?"

Craig looked at her solemnly. "We need to talk".


	5. Reveal & Rebuild

**Author's Note: This chapter was soooo hard for me for some reason. I'm trying to include some elements of the actual show without letting it completely influence my own story. Plus, I'm trying to do something the writer's don't always do, take advantage of the dramatic stories right in front of them, so it's moving slow. Also this might seem a little off the whole Cranny topic for right now but I'm trying to include other relationships. It'll get there. _Question: Should I skip over the whole Kevin Smith thing? I'm waiting to see how he really influences the show. Maybe I'll add some lost scenes with Manny. _**

* * *

****

**Chapter 5: Reveal andRebuild **

"Hey Jimmy" Ashley said, walking up the newly completed ramp to his house.

"What up, Ash" Jimmy said with a smile"Haven't seen you around here in a while"

"Well I don't make it a habit to visit my ex-boyfriend's houses ... unless I like them a lot". Ashley reached the top pf the steps and sat down next to Jimmy's wheelchair. "Cool new ramp you got here. Who knew your wheels came with such cool accessories"

"You're in a good mood" Jimmy said laughing.

"Well, things are pretty good. My boyfriend's okay, my dad just got married and my best friend just got out of the hospital and he's doing ... okay" Ashley looked up at Jimmy questioningly.

"Is that a question or a statement" Jimmy replied.

"A little of both. How are you doing exactly"

"Well, it's different... weird. Everyone stares when I go down the hall, everyone's afraid that I'm gonna break at any moment." Jimmy sighed. "It's like Rick didn't just take my legs, he took away all my strength. No one thinks I can do anything anymore"

"Hey, not everyone" Ashley said, leaning against the chair"You'll always be a hero to me." She paused for a second, wanting to make sure that what she had to say would come out right. "When ... when Rick put you in that hospital bed, all I could think was I might never get a chance to talk to Jimmy again. I know we haven't been that close since we broke up, and it was probably mostly my fault. I was so busy trying to change how people saw me and make up for how I treated everyone that I lost sight of the first person who ever really knew me." Ashley looked him straight in the eye. "You're one of my best friends Jimmy. I don't know what I'd do without you". Ashley slowly reached for his hand.

Jimmy held her hand understanding what she was trying to say even though she couldn't come out and say it. "I love you too, Ash".

* * *

"We need to talk", Craig said looking down at Manny, this girl who at one point was the focus of his entire world. Now he wasn't as sure about her being his world, but Craig knew that trying to ignore what happened between them wasn't working anymore. There was something in him that wouldn't let go.

"Talk about what" Manny asked defiantly. She was still shaken by their closeness and she didn't want to make this conversation easy. Holding back was easier, it hurt less.

"It's just - So much has happened this year and I'm just starting to make sense of everything".

"Yeah I know. You've told me about your realizations, remember"

"Yes, I remember and I'm sorry about what I said to you. There's just a lot that's happened and I'm trying to make sense of everything. Last year, you, Ashley, my dad, me; there's just so much you don't know Manny".

"Well, tell me Craig. I can't keep guessing what you're feeling. You go back and forth so quickly and I can't keep up. Sometimes it's like you're two different people and ".

"That's because I am", Craig blurted out"I mean I'm not two different people". Craig took a deep breath and went for it "Manny, I'm bipolar".

Manny was silent for a moment. She had expected him to say that he was still angry with her or that he'd never loved her, it was just about the sex but this she couldn't have anticipated. "Bipolar? What does that mean"

"I'm not sure what it means really. I know sometimes I go from being happy to really depressed, to angry. I know sometimes I can't sleep and I don't think that anything is wrong when it is. And most of all I know if I don't take medication or go to counseling it gets bad ... really ... bad"

Manny was almost afraid to ask. "How bad"

"I beat up Joey ... in front of Angie" Craig said looking away.

"You did what" Manny said in disbelief"When did all this happen? Why? I'm not understanding. Have you always been this way" So many thoughts were racing through Manny's head. She was running through every moment she and Craig had ever spent together looking for a sign. Something that would tell her what Craig was saying wasn't true. But she wasn't sure. Craig had always been troubled. It was part of what made him adorable and deep and an amazing songwriter. It was what made him ... Craig. "So are you going to be ok" she asked, hesitantly.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm going to counseling and taking medication and everyone who knows is really supportive"

"Who else knows" she asked curiously.

"Other than my family? Snake and Spike, maybe Emma, Ellie and Ashley ... and you"

"But why would you tell me? You've barely spoken to me since last year and now that you and Ashley are back together ... I don't understand why you even need to tell me. It doesn't matter ... to me"

"It doesn't" Craig said looking her in the eyes.

Manny forced her eyes away from his probing gaze"I mean why should it"

"I understand. I just thought with everything that happened last year and how I treated you this year, I should let you know. I know it's no excuse", Craig said apologetically"I just wanted you to know, whatever's wrong with me, I'm working on it and it's not your fault". Craig turned to walk back into the house.

"Wait! Craig" Manny called after him. She didn't know why she was doing this. In all honesty, she didn't know why she did a lot of things when it came to Craig but she felt the words rushing out before she could stop them. "I want to help. I mean, if you want me to. If you need me, I'll be here".

"Thanks, Manny" Craig said, sincerely. The two of them looked at each other unsure of what to say now. There was so much hanging in the air, words that couldn't be said, things that needed to be said. They were both saved by Joey.

"Craig! Manny!" Joey said sticking his head out the door, "It's freezing out here. Come back inside, we're having hot chocolate"

"That's ok, Mr. Jeremiah", Manny replied, "I'm going home now". Manny turned to leave. "Tell Emma I said 'bye'"

"Manny, you don't have to go" Craig started.

"It's ok. I'll see you in school. Merry Christmas Craig", Manny said walking away.

"Merry Christmas Manny" Craig whispered, as he watched her walk away from him, once again.

* * *

The New Year came all too fast and before they knew school was starting up again. Emma slammed her locker door shut, with so much force it made Manny jump.

"God, I hate this school", she lamented.

"What's wrong?" Manny asked.

"Everything! Everyone!" Emma said leaning against her locker door, "I can feel them staring at me, talking about me. First Rick and the shooting, and now this thing with Jay. I feel like I'm everyone's waiting to see if I'll break down or flip out".

"You're kind of flipping out now, Em" Manny said, matter-of-factly "Just ignore them. In a week, they'll all forget about everything that's happened"

"Yes because the students of Degrassi are known for their short memories. No one lets anything go here".

"Ok, sulky girl. You need a night of fun. Complete vegging out, no deep conversations, just girls doing girly things. I'll put it all together. Just make sure that your house is free. It'll be fun" Manny sad throwing her arm around Emma.

"Alright", Emma said perking up slightly. "No boys? No drama?"

"Our lives are drama free" Manny said reassuringly. "Come on, we'll be late for class".

* * *

"Jimmy, class is about to start. I'll walk – I'll go over with you" Hazel said. Jimmy was completely engrossed in the game of Yuker they were playing. Lately, everyone had gotten into it and Ellie had finally stopped talking about Sean and her dead ferret and learned how to play. She was surprisingly good for a first timer and Jimmy and Craig had to concentrate even harder to beat her and Alex.

The bell rang and all of them groaned. "Oh great", muttered Alex, "French class"

"Well, je suis up for skipping" Jimmy said with a grin.

"Sounds good to me", Craig agreed.

"What?" Hazel protested. "You're skipping class? But you've barely been back and you've already missed so much while you were in the hospital"

"So it's not going to matter if he misses a little bit more", Alex said grabbing her bag, "Let's go"

"See you later, Hazel" Jimmy said, rolling away without even a backwards glance.

* * *

"So I've got my mom picking up magazines and snacks, what are you bringing?" Emma said, walking up to Manny's locker.

"Emma, I'm sooo sorry. I have to cover for Paige again with spirit squad. She said she had an appointment she couldn't get out of after school". Manny wanted to share her suspicions that it was probably an "important appointment" with Mr. O but she'd promised Paige she wouldn't say anything.

"Didn't you just finish sorting the new uniforms? And didn't you run practice last week?"

"Yeah but I guess Paige has been pretty busy with … other things. Can we reschedule until this weekend? Besides I also told Spinner I'd stop by The Dot tonight".

"Spinner?"

"Emma, come on" Manny said, "You promised you'd be okay with it. Plus, Spin's been really good since he got expelled. He's been working and if you can believe it he's been studying. He's hoping that Ms. H will let him take exams at the end of the year."

"I seriously doubt that"

"Anything's possible"

* * *

"So, what are we doing after school?" Craig said grabbing Jimmy's books from his locker.

"Well I kind of have plans. And Ellie and Alex took all our money so I don't really have any money to do anything. What did you have in mind?"

"Yuker? … Strip yuker?"

"Clearly you and Ash have not been hooking up enough when you want to get naked around me"

"What's this about you two getting naked?" Ashley said coming up behind them. She planted a quick kiss on Craig's cheek before grabbing Jimmy's books out of his hands. "You ready to go Jimmy?"

"Ashley? You're plans are with Ash?" Craig said quizzically.

"Yup. She's coming to my therapy session"

"And then my parents are taking us out for dinner" Ashley said with a smile. "Just like old times"

"Yeah, old times" Craig mumbled.

"See ya later" Ashley said, pushing Jimmy down the hall. Craig stood slightly stunned as the two of them moved down the hall, laughing.

"Pick your jaw up. Flies might fly in" Ellie said.

"He jacked my girl and he can't even walk" Craig said in disbelief.

"Watch out Craig. Someone might think you're jealous. Besides you don't need to worry about Ashley. You cheated on her not the other way around"

"You're never going to let me forget that are you?"

"Hey, I don't like people hurting my friends. Plus, with Sean ditching me I'm probably not the best person to talk to about relationships right now"

"I have to admit that you are one of the few people who isn't trying to tell me what I want to hear".

"I'm glad you think so because I'm probably going to say something you're not going to like … There's a group meeting this afternoon. And since you don't have anything to do, I was thinking you might want to go with me"

"You know what, Ellie? I have an even better idea"

**Next up: Spinner/Manny, more Ashley/Jimmy and some Craig/Ellie moments **


	6. Hey Bluebird on my shoulder

**Chapter 6: Hey Bluebird on my shoulder …**

"So why are we here, Craig?" Ellie looked around questioningly. They were standing in the middle of the train yard. It was nearly devoid of people though one or two trains had passed since they'd been there.

"I came here, once before, with Sean" Craig said balancing on the train tracks.

"Is this when you tell me about some homoerotic experience you and Sean had?"

"No. And I'm starting to get a little weirded out by people's references to my sexuality by the way. I came here with Sean, right before I moved in with Joey. It was when I was still with my dad … when he beat me. See those trains" Ellie looked around and took in the massive machines, almost unstoppable.

"What about them?"

"I jumped in front of one. I almost let my life be over. Sean saved me"

At the mention of Sean's name Ellie tensed up. "So? Why are you telling me this?"

"You're the one all about group therapy. I thought you might need some. Sean isn't horrible Ellie. He's a good and loyal friend and boyfriend, who had some issues he needed to work out. He didn't do it to hurt you. I know it's lonely living alone but you can't keep blaming Sean for leaving. He can't keep saving you."

"But what about you and Ashley? What if Ashley picked up and left you … after promising to be there?"

"Me and Ashley aren't you and Sean"

"Answer my question Craig"

Craig looked at Ellie and shrugged. "I honestly don't know".

* * *

"It's nice to have you around again, Jimmy" Ashley's mom said as she passed the potatoes around the table. 

"Thank you Mrs. Kerwin" Jimmy said as spooned thefood onto his plate. "It's nice to see you all again as well"

"And how's school and everything going?"

"Mom, Jimmy doesn't want to talk about school" Ashley said cutting her off.

Kate paused fora second before trying again. "Well I must admit it's great to have Ashley bringing home someone we can actually have a decent conversation with" Ashley's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Oh not like Craig you mean?" Ashley said raising her voice, "Because Craig could never carry on an adult conversation, right mom?"

"See now you're getting emotional. Ever since she's been with that boy she gets so emotional about everything" Mrs. Kerwin said to Jimmy. Slightly embarrassed, Jimmy chose not to respond.

"I am not emotional" Ashley said, lowering her voice, "I'm just tired of you treating Craig like a second class citizen. He's my boyfriend. He cares about me"

"Just like he cared about you when he ruined your father's wedding" Mrs. Kerwin said.

"Kate" Toby's father said.

"What, Jeff? I'm just telling the truth. The boy is unstable".

"I don't think this is the right time to discuss this Kate". Toby's father said. Jimmy sat there uncomfortably unsure of whether to eat his mashed potatoes, while Ashley fumed in anger.

"Can you pass the green beans?" Toby said attempting to break the tension. No one moved and then slowly, things began to return to normal. Everyone tried to ignore the tension between Ashley and her mother but there was no going back.

* * *

"Can I take your order?" Spinner said without looking at the customer. He'd been waiting for a break all day but it seemed like every time he thought about slowing down, customers poured into the café. 

"Sure, I'll have a burger and some conversation", Manny said.

"Hey Manny" Spinner said with relief. "I wasn't sure if you were going to stop by"

"I know. It's been kind of hard for me to balance friends lately. With you and Emma and Craig"

"Craig?" Spinner asked, "What's wrong with him?"

"Oh nothing's _wrong _with him" Manny said trying to cover her tracks. She was sure Spinner didn't know about what Craig was going through."We've just been talking"

"Well at least you have friends to talk to. It's bad enough that I'm already a year behind everyone I know, but now I might even be behind your class. But I guess it doesn't matter since all of _my_ friends have already given up on me".

"Okay Mopey McMoperston. Feeling a little bad for yourself?" Manny reached out her hand to touch Spinner. "It's not that bad" she said.

"It is!" Spinner said pulling away. "You don't know what it's like!"

"To be ignored by your friends and gossiped about by everyone else?" Manny said in disbelief, "Yeah I think I have an idea"

"It's not the same" Spinner said angrily.

"Okay clearly you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself to realize you have a friend" Manny said putting her coat back on, "When you're done blaming the world for _your _mistake I'm here. I'll always be here Spinner". Manny left out of the Dot without a backwards glance. Spinner threw his hands down on the table in anger.

* * *

"So… your mom and Craig. Close friends?" Jimmy said as Ashley walked him to his door. 

"Yeah... They're about to film a buddy movie. They're real tight" Ashley said sarcastically.

"Your mom loves you Ash"

"And so does Craig. And I love him back. I just want my mom to respect that".

"It's not like Craig has the best track record in your mom's eyes. You spent most of last year contemplating ways to destroy his life".

"I know but now we're together nowand he's crazy in love with me. Sometimes a little more crazy that love…"

"Did Craig do something?"

"No, but…"

"But what?"

"Jimmy if I tell you something you have to promise not to say anything to Craig until I'm ready".

"Of course" Jimmy said nonchalantly.

"I think I'm going to spend the summer in England working with my dad at the BBC".

"Ashley that's great", Jimmy said excitedly, "You'll get to hang outin London. You'll be making your own money. There's Big Ben and the Royal Family and Westminster Abbey –"

"And no Craig"

"You can't base this decision on Craig. It's the opportunity of a lifetime"

"I don't want to stay because of Craig… I want to leave because of him"

Jimmy looked at her in disbelief. "You want to break up with Craig?"

"No! Its just that with him being bipolar there's this constantthreat of him going off his meds or having an episode.Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for it to get bad again. I just need some time away from Craig, away from Degrassi and this summer is the perfect chance. But what if my leaving is what makes Craig lose it?"

"You can't be his savior, Ash. You can't behis reason for self-destructing or his reason for staying together. It's not fair to you. Maybethis tripis the best thing for him. If Craig can get along without you, then he can do even better _with _you".

"I just don't know if this is going to work. Either way".

"Maybe that's the best reason to go. I'll miss hanging out with you though. I was just getting my friend back".

"Don't worry. Ours is one relationship I don't have to worry about".

* * *

**Authors Note: So I know no Cranny for the past two updates but I'm getting back to it. I figure this part to have taken place during QoH and I think the next one will be during Modern Love and Moonlight Desires. The plot of the show is falling in line with what I want to do with the fic so by the time it gets to the summer, it will be a lot more Cranny-oriented. I don't know as I was watching these past episodes, it just made sense to me how to get Craig and Manny back together. **

**SonnyAngel- I haven't abandoned the therapy sessions, they're just going to come later. Maybe after the next couple of installments. **


	7. Staring at the edge

**Chapter 7: Staring at the edge…**

"And 5, 6, 7, 8" Manny and the girls ran through the routine flawlessly, finishing with Manny's dismount. After they were done everyone chatted excitedly except Hazel who was conspicuously stony.

"Hey, Manny" Hazel said walking over, "I'm really not cool with you taking over Paige's position on the team".

"Look around, Hazel. I can't take Paige's position if she isn't here for me to steal it". Besides, she's to busy with her after-school "study sessions" with Mr. O to notice"

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on Hazel, don't play dumb with me. Paige told me all about her student/teacher trysts. I know you – you don't know, do you? Oops?"

"Paige is gonna fry me in a vat of oil and serve me for lunch" Manny said leaning against the restroom sinks.

"What have you done to Princess Paige now?" Emma said, joining her.

"Ok this is strictly between the two of us" Manny said checking the stalls to make sure they were empty. "No telling Spike and especially not Simpson".

"Okay tell me", Emma said trying to calm her agitated friend.

"Paige has been dating Mr. O"

"Mr. O as in Mr. Oleander? Our Media Immersion teacher?"

"There's only one Mr. O at this school. And I promised her I wouldn't say anything but I let it slip to Hazel. I just thought since Hazel's her best friend and like you're my best friend, I tell you everything. This certainly counts as best friend information and the only reason I knew was because I caught them so it's not like she confided in me or anything and—"

"Manny I get it. BFF. You thought she would've told Hazel or you wouldn't have said anything. I understand"

"You understand and I understand, but will _Paige_ understand?"

"Hey Manny"

"Hey Craig" Manny said with a small smile. She was still worried about Paige and Hazel.

"You okay?" he asked concerned. Since their talk at Christmas time, Manny had been pretty friendly and lately he felt like their friendship was getting back on track. It was nice to have girls who were "friends". It helped to take the intensity out of their relationship and Craig was beginning to feel like it was possible for him and Manny to be close again.

"Yeah, just an off day. But I'm glad I saw you. I wanted to talk to you about something"

"Well is it important? I was about to meet up with Marco to help plan the blood drive next week"

"It'll just take a second". Manny pulled him into an empty classroom so they could have some privacy.

"Um, what are we doing in here, Manny?"

"I want you to talk to Spinner"

"No" Craig said turning to walk out the room.

"Wait!" Manny said grabbing his arm, "Aren't you even going to listen to why?"

"I don't care why you are under the false impression that talking to Spinner is anything other than dumb. No matter what you say I'm not going to talk to that heartless idiot".

"He's hurting Craig. Everyone has abandoned him. He feels terrible about what he did. Just let him know you don't hate him"

"That would be a lie" Craig said, stoically. He turned to leave once more.

"It's not like you've never made a mistake. Like you've never hurt someone" Manny called after him desperately.

Craig stopped short and looked at Manny dead on. "If you can equate me with Spinner, then you really don't know me Manny", he said, "Now I'm going to hang out with my real friends".

Manny's day had officially gone from bad to worse and at this point she felt like she was going to break. _Just one more hour_, she thought to herself. As she came around the corner she spotted Paige at the other end of the hall and attempted to steel herself against the forthcoming onslaught.

"Happy weekend Paige" Manny said semi-cheerfully. Paige didn't answer but instead through Manny a thoroughly disgusted look. _You know what I'm tired of this_, Manny thought. "Why thanks Manny" she said in a mocking voice "And thanks for taking my practice this morning"

"You want me to thank you?" Paige said, incredulously, "For what, dropping a dirty bomb on my life?"

"Practice went awesome without you and if you ask some of us, that wasn't a coincidence" Manny said, boldly.

"You told Hazel, when you swore that you wouldn't!" Paige said raising her voice.

"I thought she knew, okay? Chill."

"Don't use your outdated slang on me. I doubt that your mouth is even connected to your tiny, shriveled, boy obsessed brain"

Manny couldn't believe the words coming out of Paige's mouth. "I'm the dumb one?" Manny said pushing Paige. "Who still hasn't figured out not to chase older guys? A guy so out of her league, it's not funny"

"That's big words for a girl who picks up my leftovers" Paige said spitefully. She turned to walk away from Manny.

"Could you be more self obsessed? All you think about is your own butt, which probably does require a lot of thought, given that it's huge". Before she could truly think, Manny was lifting her foot and kicking Paige in her butt. Paige turned and slapped her. The two girls began to truly fight each one working out a year's worth of pent-up aggression.

Suddenly they were being pulled apart by Ms. Hatzilakos and Mr. Oleander. "Manny calm down!" said Mr. O as he held her tight.

Deeply enraged and hurt by Paige's comments, Manny couldn't help getting in one last remark. "Hey Mr. Pedophile - I mean Oleander", she said, calling attention to how tight Mr. O was holding her. "Don't make your girlfriend Paige even more jealous of me!"

"Manny, my office Monday!" yelled Ms. Hatzilakos. "Paige, Mr. Oleander, now! Alright everyone schools out. Go home, show's over. Now! I said now!" Manny didn't know whether to bask in the glow of finally getting one over on Paige or to cry. She never meant for it to go this far.

a week later

"So he kissed you?" Craig's therapist said with a tiny smile.

"It's not funny! And I'm not gay" Craig insisted.

"Clearly not. You have enough trouble with women. I'd hate to see you open up to a whole different group of hearts to break", his therapist said holding back laughter.

"I'm way past that now. I don't break hearts anymore".

"Well things have definitely been going well for you since you've been attending those teen group meetings with Ellie. And talking with Manny has helped, though I _still _recommend having a joint session".

"I just don't know how I would explain it to Ashley. She says she's okay with it but I don't think she is. Besides me and Manny got into an argument the other day".

"About what?"

"She compared me to Spinner"

"How so?"

"She wants me to talk to him. And when I said I wouldn't, she said I'd made mistakes too. And that I should understand because I'd been there"

"Do you think she's right?"

"I am NOT like Spinner. He pulled that horrible prank on Rick and then let Jimmy take the blame for it. He's been a jerk this entire year"

"Like you were last year?"

"I have not hurt anyone that bad. I am not responsible for anyone's death".

"Even your baby?"

"That's not my fault, it's … it's"

"Manny's fault?"

"It wasn't my decision. I didn't have a choice".

"Tell me Craig do you think you're nothing like Spinner? Or are you afraid you might be more like him than you want to admit?"

**Author's Note: I had to include the Paige/Manny fight. It was one of the best moments this season. I hope this makes up for the lack of Cranny in the past two chapters. Hopefully, the next part comes this easy too. Oh and I have to give credit, I took the fight scene from the transcript ****http: **


	8. Of a Life Come Undone

**Summary: Takes place during West End Girls and Going Down the Road Part 1. Manny deals with Paige while Craig deals with Ashley leaving. Both of them face a potentially lonely summer. **

**Chapter 8: …Of a life come undone**

"Okay I feel really bad about getting Paige and Mr. O in trouble but does that mean I have to be her whipping boy for the rest of my life!" Manny said flopping down on Emma's bed. "I've been picking up the slack for her all year and just because of this Mr. O thing she expects me to let her take all the credit for the routines _I _put together. I don't even get to wear the prom dress I want"

"Well you have to decide what means more to you? Being Paige's friend or getting credit for your work" Emma said as she picked through her nail polishes. "What do you think of this one?" She held out a bright pink color.

Manny shook her head. "What would you do?"

"Probably mix it with a lighter crème color" Emma said absentmindedly.

"Not about the nail polish Emma. About Paige"

"Oh, well you know what I'd do. Take a chance. From what I've seen at this point Paige is just being mean because she doesn't want to forgive you. That's not a good friend, so why should you let her take the credit?"

"But I'm not like you Emma. I feel bad about what I did and I want to make it up to her"

"Then give her another chance, but don't be surprised if she throws it back in your face"

* * *

"This is going to work" Craig said, as the last notes of his guitar died away, "And we are going to spend the summer together, scoring Kevin Smith's new movie".

"Um, about that" Ashley said hesitantly, "Can we talk about that?"

"Talk about what?"

"Craig, England is a huge opportunity for me. It's a chance to see things I'm really interested in firsthand. And I get to spend the summer with my dad. We're really becoming tight and the chance to be with him alone and explore London. I mean—it's a dream come true"

"This Ash, this is a dream come true. You and me writing music that going to be produced. That's going to be in a film! That's bigger than anything we could have planned and it's dropped right into out laps. I need you to be with me on this. We can do it!"

"I guess, I'll talk to my dad"

"Yes!" Craig said kissing her, "Yes! I knew it. This is going to be great"

* * *

"This SUCKS!" Manny yelled.

"I'm so sorry, Manny, but Matt is leaving town and Paige is feeling so horrible".

"_I _feel horrible. I can't even wear the dress I want!"

"Well you might not have to go alone. Toby's still free"

At that, Manny began to see red. "I need to get out of here", she said breathing deeply.

"Manny!" Chante called. "We need your help"

"Paige is having trouble with the 1 cupe, 2 grapevine, 3 combo" Darcy said, irritably.

Manny turned back to Marco, lividly. "Let's go help, Paige. Shall we?"she said through gritted teeth.

Paige sighed petulantly. "I'm not having trouble with the grapevine, cupe-combo thing. I just don't like it and I don't see why it can't just be straight grapevine"

"Because that's boring" said Chante.

"Okay I'm the captain" Paige said, forcefully, "I'm not in the mood for sass and I'm changing the choreography. Is that boring?"

"I'll show you" Manny said trying to compromise. But the look of contempt on Paige's face was driving her crazy and she couldn't help adding, "And I'll take it really, really slow okay?"

As if a light bulb had come on in her head, Paige exclaimed, "I know what I'm missing, the mascot. Go get the costume, I'll take your place"

"You want me to do what!" Manny said incredulously.

"We're performing in two hours Paige" Hazel said calmly "We've never caught you".

"Well unless Manny, Darcy, Chante, and you all want off the squad; Manny's the mascot" Paige replied to Hazel spitefully, "Consider my foot down". Manny walked away with a hatred she had never felt before. It took allshe had in her to finish practice. And when the hour was over she was still madder than she'd ever been. She'd been pushed too far.

* * *

"I can't believe what they did to Paige. She broke her leg!" Ashley said to Jimmy on their way to her house.

"You can't believe it? I'm going to have to hear about it for the rest of the night"

"You mean Paige is still going to the Prom?"

"Hazel convinced her to go with us. Frankly, I'd be happy staying in tonight but apparently I'm up for prom king so I have to go"

"Not excited, Your Highness?"

"I'm just tired of people giving me things just because I can't walk. Not that I wouldn't have been Prom King anyway" Jimmy said with some of his old cockiness,"But I'm starting to feel like a charity case. On the plus side, Kevin Smith will be there scouting Degrassi so I'll get to meet him. By the way, how's that working out for you?"

"What?"

"You and Craig. A summer full of writing songs, late-night studio sessions. What happened to England?"

"What happened is Craig is in denial. Every time I try to tell him how much I want to go, he railroads me".

"Ash, you can't tell him how much you _want_ to go. You have to tell him you're _going_"

"I know. I just don't know how. What would you do if it were Hazel?"

"Me and Hazel have a very different relationship than you and Craig. We're close friends. We've always been more friends than anything else"

"Not the passion of our relationship?" Ashley said jokingly.

"Not really" Jimmy said honestly. They arrived at Ashley's house to find Jimmy's dad waiting out front. "Dad? What are you doing here?"

"I was sent by Hazel. She told me to make sure you get home and get dressed on time. That girl can be tough when she wants to be".

"Well, I guess I'll see you tonight Ash". After Jimmy's bold confession, Ashley was a little unsure how to react.

"Sure. Tonight Jimmy" she said quietly.

* * *

Prom night was not what Manny had envisioned. Last year she thought she'd be with Craig dancing under Marco's cheesy Bollywood decorations and she'd ended up with JT, not horrible but definitely not her first choice. This year she was stuck running from Toby in the same dress Paige was wearing, with no official date and the weight of Paige's injury on her conscience. There was nothing that could salvage this night. The song ended and Manny clapped half-heartedly for Craig and Ashley as they left the stage.

"We rocked the place out!" Craig said bursting out of the stage door.

"Did you just say rocked out?" Ashley said laughing

"Hey no lip" Craig said sliding his arms around her waist, "Or I'll smother you in sweat". He pulled her into a lingering kiss.

Ashley sighed as they broke apart. "I'm gonna miss you so much"

"But, the show went really great" Craig said unsurely, "What do you mean miss me?"

Ashley hesitated for second before deciding to go through with her decision. "There was a moment up there when I just thought to myself I have nothing left to prove. I'm ready to go to England and try some new things"

"Try what new things?"

"Being on my own. Exploring. Not being the same old Ashley who goes to Degrassi and writes sappy poems".

"But I love the Ashley that goes to Degrassi. And I adore her poems" Craig said pulling her close, "And I love having her here with me"

Ashley pulled away determinedly. "I'm going to England, Craig. It's where I want to be. Now come on. Let's get back inside before they announce the King and Queen"

"Um yeah", Craig said, "I'll, uh, meet you there".

"And now for our King and Queen…" Marco drew out the announcement, attempting to heighten the tension, "Jimmy Brooks and Manny Santos!"

Manny was taken completely by surprise, this time last year she was trying to melt into the background, now she was Prom Queen. _Maybe this night isn't so bad, _she thought. Manny stepped onto the stage delightedly but there was a disturbance at the other end of the stage.

"Let me through" shouted Paige, "I want to crown the queen!" Paige moved across the stage indomitably. "Congratulations Manny". Suddenly, Paige tipped over ripping Manny's dress apart as she fell forward. Manny stood there in her slip unsure of where to turn. Marco walked over to save her but before he could get there, Paige tripped him pushing him directly into a devastated Manny. Luckily, Kevin Smith managed to catch her before she could hit the ground.

"I'll definitely be shooting here Miss Ryan" Kevin said happily. Embarrassed, all Manny could do was run away as Paige's laughter rang in her ears.

* * *

"That was officially the worst thing Paige has ever done" Ashley said to Hazel and Ellie, "Even if it was Manny"

"I miss the old Paige. Post-junior high bitchiness and insecurities, pre-teacher/student affair" said Hazel

"You mean when Paige was with Spinner?" interpreted Ellie.

"You have to admit things were better when instead of ordering around the _entire_ school, she just controlled Spin's life".

"Believe me Paige wasn't so great even then", Ellie said.

"It's better than the raging psycho she's become", Ashley said. "Thank God I've never gone this crazy over a guy".

"And you call locking yourself in your room and not coming to school for weeks normal?" Ellie retorted.

"Hey I'm not living in my ex-boyfriend's apartment and running a gambling ring"

"We all do crazy things for love". They both turned to look at Hazel.

"What? Don't look at me! My boyfriend and I are normal. We don't have problems" Hazel said.

Ashley looked away at that statement but did not respond to it. "Well, Craig and I are going to attempt to be normal this summer. I'm going away"

"You decided to take the job in London?" Ellie asked excitedly.

"Yeah I'm leaving in a few weeks"

"Good because if you didn't go I was going to beg your dad to take me instead".

"You're a real loyal friend".

"How's Craig taking it?" Hazel asked.

"He's dealing but I think this could be good for us. And we'll come back even more in love with each other then when I left". Ashley said, trying to reassure herself.

* * *

"Looks like we're both having a great night" Manny said sitting down next to Craig. She was still minimally clothed in her slip and a Degrassi sweater.

"About as good as it gets", Craig said despondently, not fully taking in the scantily clad girl in front of him.

"I wasn't sure if you would talk to me. Given our last conversation"

"I overreacted. I still don't want to talk to Spinner if that's what you're going to ask. But I do want to keep talking to you".

"Good because I don't think I can afford to lose any more friends".

"If it's any consolation, I think everyone is more mad at Paige about messing up the Prom then they are at you for breaking her leg".

"It's a small comfort" Manny said with a sad laugh.

"Come here" Craig said lifting up his arm. Manny leaned against his chest and sighed.

"This is nice" she said. Sitting with Craig felt really natural and easy. Manny wondered why it wasn't like this with other guys. Why she had to struggle so hard to feel like herself around them. "So why are you sitting in a darkened gym? Someone pull off your clothes in front of the entire school when I wasn't looking?" she asked.

"Ashley's leaving for the summer. I don't want her to go", Craig said, nonchalantly. Manny sat up quickly, jarred from the sound of Ashley's name.

"I'm sorry to hear that", she said, standing, "You know, Craig, I just remembered, Emma said she'd find some more clothes and meet me in the bathroom. I guess we can talk some other time, kay?"

"Sure" Craig said. "Anytime you want"

"I'll remember that" Manny said with a smile. "'Night Craig"

"'Night Manny" Craig watched her as she walked away. As Manny exited the gym he realized how much he wanted to call out to her. To talk to her and explain everything that was going on. Somehow he felt like she would understand but by the time he looked up again she was gone.

* * *

_A few weeks later_

Manny sat in the hair dresser's chair and watched as her hair got curlier à la the 80's. When she was done, she studied her image in the mirror. Kevin Smith had picked out red and white uniforms for Canadian cheerleaders, and her outfit in particular featured a shortened version of the top.

"Looking good", Jason Mewes said, coming behind her. "Damn I wish I was in high school again ...Or ever"

"Practicing your lines already, Jay?" Manny said with a smile. So far Jay had hit on every girl in Degrassi and he'd hit on her at least twice a day. It was probably why Kevin had picked her to be Jason's leading lady. Well that and her resemblance to someone named Apollonia she'd never heard of.

"Hey we could practice a lot of stuff", he said moving closer, "Find and nice dark corner"

"Sir! Please stop hitting on girls under the age of 18" Kevin Smith said rescuing Manny.

"Don't they have different laws up here" Jason asked innocently.

"Not that different, R. Kelly. Let's go", Kevin said leading him away.Kevin checked back pver his shoulder to make sureshe was okay.

"Thanks" Manny mouthed to him, reassuringly. She held in her laughter but smiled at the antics of the two men who had taken over their school. So far the summer had been anything but boring but shooting was about to wrap up soon and Manny wasn't sure what the summer would bring after that. Emma had been off in her own world so far and everyone else seemed to be planning vacations as soon as filming was over.

She walked over to the buffet table where Spinner and Jay were serving. Craig and Ashley were a few people ahead of her and she saw the look of shock on Craig's face when he realized Spinner was serving.

"I'd rather eat my own liver than accept food from you two scumbags" she heard Craig yell from the front of the line. He grabbed his tray and started to walk away.

"Manning, do I need to remind you that I'm holding a big scary knife in my hand?" Jay retorted, while he waved around his carving knife.

"Yeah?" Craig said, menacingly. He picked up the chafing top and slammed it down in front of Jay. "Watch your fingers"

As Craig walked away Ashley stopped him. "Did you take your pills last night?" she asked. Manny flinched at the question. She couldn't believe Ashley would mention Craig's illness in such a public place.

"Don't ask me that. It's embarrassing" Craig replied. The hurt was apparent in his voice.

"No, that was embarrassing" said Ashley, referring to Craig's confrontation.

Upset, Craig apologized but walked off alone. He was beginning to feel unstable for the first time since he'd started his counseling and treatment. Craig felt as if his entire life was being negated. Every time he'd had a bad day or been excited was now a result of his disorder. It was like everything he'd done before and everything he was planning to do was related to this thing that to him was still so new. Between Joey and Ashley trying to make sure he was "fixed", it was making him crazy. And now with Ashley leaving he was feeling desperate and it wasn't helping.

"You can't keep stressing him Ash", said Jimmy, "You asked him if he was off his meds in front of everyone"

"I know! But this is what I'm talking about Jimmy. I can't tell anymore what's an episode, what's just Craig. Is it all him?" she sighed, frustrated. "I really need this time away. I don't know what I'd do if I had to go on like this".

* * *

"And that's a cut! Very nice Ellie. Ick in pathetic" Kevin chuckled to himself "Manny nice job"

"Thanks" Manny said walking away.

"You were great" Darcy said coming up to her. "Can you believe it? You're going to be in a movie. And that Jason guy is all over you".

"Which I'm sure would be nice if he weren't like three times my age"

"At least you'll have something to show for the summer. A paycheck and a starring role. Paige must be so jealous. She got cast as the "bitchy girl". Not too much of a stretch"

"I'm going to stay silent on that one. Paige and I have kind of a truce going. Anyway, I just wish I had something to do after this movie wraps".

"Why not travel somewhere. Plane tickets must be pretty cheap, I mean Craig got a last minute ticket to England".

Manny stopped as if she'd been punched in the gut. "Craig's going to England? With Ashley?"

"Yeah. You haven't heard. Apparently, he talked his dad into letting him go". Manny was crestfallen but she tried to recover quickly.

"That's great", she said falsely, "I'm glad they're doing so well".

"They must be. I don't think my parents would ever let me leave the country to chase after some guy".

"Some of us are just suckers for love, I guess" Manny said quietly.

* * *

"I don't think this is a good idea man" Jimmy said after Joey walked away.

"What do you mean not a good idea? Think about it, me and Ash together for the whole summer in England. It's the best idea".

"Have you really discussed this with Ash?" Jimmy said, "She's going to be working, spending time with her dad. I'm not sure if you tagging along is what she had in mind".

"Hey I figured out a way to keep us together for the summer. That's going to make Ashley happy. I know it will".

Jimmy knew just how _un_happy that would make Ashley but he didn't have the heart to tell his friend. "I hope you're right, man" Jimmy said, but he knew Craig was completely wrong.

_later that night_

Craig walked up to Ashley's house still elated. He'd figured out how to keep him and Ashley together and despite everyone's reservations, it was going to work out. "Hey!" Craig said grabbing the suitcase from her "What you got in here?"

Ashley was surprised. When Craig hadn't shown up by dinnertime she was afraid he was too upset to say goodbye. "Every shoe I own" she said giving him a kiss "You know I thought this whole goodbye thing was going to be so hard. I'm so glad you're here and you surprised me"

"Well" Craig said happily, "Parting is so not sweet sorrow". Craig pulled the ticket out of his pocket and handed it to her. "I'm coming. To England. Tomorrow. But since it's the red eye I'll be in London the day after that"

Ashley was completely dumbfounded. "You're just flying to London?", she said slowly.

"It's what planes are for" Craig said, still oblivious to Ashley's unhappiness.

Ashley took a deep breath and looked at Craig with a quiet anger. "You can't follow me to England".

Now it was Craig's turn to be dumbfounded. "Ash, come on", he said coaxingly.

His sweetness only served to make her more upset. It was the final straw. "Look why are you here doing this? Are you off your meds?" Ashley asked.

"No I'm not off my meds" Craig said is voice rising, "I'm here cause I love you and I have plans"

"Yeah so do I Craig and you said you were okay with them. You said it repeatedly, so what is this?"

"This is me making things better. It's us spending the summer together. I figure out a plan to keep us together and you think I'm having an episode!"

"I don't know what to think" Ashley said quietly. "Look I need space. I need to get away"

"From what?"

"From you, Craig!" Ashley blew up, "I love you, but ever since my dad's wedding it's just been me worrying, me watching for signs, watching what I say"

"Why won't you just believe me?" Craig pleaded, "I'm better now, okay? I am"

"Look Craig, I don't want to feel this way, but I do" Ashley threw her bag over her shoulder. "E-mail me okay? I'll see you in September". She hopped into the car and refused to look back as her parents drove away.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter will finally lead me into Going Down the Road Part 2 and the rest of the summer. So more Cranny although I have another major plotline to delve into as well.**

**SonnyAngel: sorry for all the Ashley in this one but I had to get her out of town first :lol: And about possible Sean/Emma … we shall see. **

**boyluvr250: I loved the catfight from West End Girls, too. I couldn't not include it. **

**fluffymello: the story is definitely Cranny but I like the Spanny friendship as well as Craig/Ellie so I like to use them a lot for the subplot. I think Degrassi needs more boy/girl friendships (without dating). **

**LoveandRomance: There are just some scenes where I think the wording is perfect and others where I want to change and improve it or extend it. As soon as I'm beyond trying to weave my story into the storyline it'll be all me, no transcripts. **


	9. Abandoned Souls

**Chapter 9: Abandoned Souls **

Craig had been living in the boiler room of Degrassi Community School for a few days now. Only exiting to eat and use the bathroom, he'd managed to stay out of sight of his friends, except for running into Spinner that morning. _Spinner won't rat me out, _he thought to himself. _So what if Kevin saw me, he said I could stay down here. I just have to finish this song, then I'm going to England. Me and Ash in England. But Ash is the virus. I need to stay here. Show her, show them, I'm not crazy. _Craig tried hard to focus.

"Gotta write the song. Gotta write the song" Craig said with the guitar in his lap. He remembered right after Ashley's father's wedding when he was in the hospital. He'd written so many songs then. The words seemed to come so easily. Now they seemed caught in his throat. But he felt alive and in control. In reality, he was anything but.

"There'll never be a single place where I feel safe, where I can escape from you" Craig sang to himself. As he sang images flashed through his head. He saw his mother; her smiling face as she took her last breath. He saw his father running at him, pulling him up by his neck. He saw Joey's face, terrified as Craig pushed him back into a wall. He saw Ashley walking away from him, on her way to another country. And he saw Manny, tears shining in her eyes as she told him she was going to have an abortion. Frustrated, Craig threw the pencil in his hand down on the ground.

"You can do this" Craig said to himself. "You don't need them. You don't need anyone." He picked up the pencil and began to write again when the door to the boiler room swung open. "Oh Kevin, great" Craig said without looking up "I'm still working on the lyrics but let me play the song for you". Craig looked up to find Joey and Spinner staring at him with sorrow.

"Come on Craig" Joey said, hesitantly, "We're going home".

* * *

"So the movie's wrapping soon?" Emma said, awkwardly.

"Yeah" Manny replied, halfheartedly.

"You know, you're a really god actress, Manny".

"You think so?" Manny questioned.

"Well you have to be because the fact that you clearly don't want to be here, doesn't ever show on camera", Emma pointed out.

"I want to be here"

"Yeah just as much as I do"

"Remember when we used to _want_ to go to school?" Manny said with a laugh. "We thought coming to Degrassi was the coolest thing".

"Back when we were innocent and young", Emma said with some sarcasm, "When the biggest drama was getting our periods?"

"I miss those days"

"I miss Sean" Emma confessed suddenly.

"Sean?" Manny asked, "I haven't heard you say anything about him since the shooting"

"I wish he'd stayed. Then maybe I wouldn't have lost it. Maybe everything with Jay" Emma trailed off quietly. Manny grabbed her friend's hand.

"We can't rely on maybe" Manny said.

* * *

Caitlin and Angie sat on the couch and went through Caitlin's address book checking off possible wedding guests. Caitlin was on the phone with her assistant Nick, confirming the contacts he already had.

"I think you know what you can do with Tessa Campanelli's address, Nick" Caitlin said sarcastically, " And – oh that's Joey coming in the door" Caitlin began to wrap up her conversation as Joey entered the house.

"Remind me" Joey said as he entered, "Did I or did I not tell you that sending Craig off to England was a bad idea Caitlin?" Caitlin looked confused until she saw Craig entering the house behind Joey. Instantly, she knew something had gone wrong but Joey's know-it-all attitude raised her defenses.

"Whoa. Don't make it my fault!" she retaliated.

"Oh no?" Joey said coming right back at her, "It was your idea. You supported it and now he and Ashley broke up and you know what, he's been living in the Degrassi boiler room"

Sensing the tension in the room, Angie got up from the couch and in an adult-like manner grabbed Craig's hand, pulling him towards the stairs. "Okay, we're going upstairs" she said.

Caitlin and Joey continued to fight barely noticing as Craig and Angie left the room. When they reached the top of the stairs Angie turned to her brother in indignation. "What's going on, Craig?" she asked.

"It's none of your business Angie", Craig said, "It's adult stuff"

"You're not an adult", Angie pointed out. Craig began to tune her out. He crouched low on the stairs listening to Joey and Caitlin argue about him.

"Why are dad and Caitlin arguing?" Angie asked.

"Because of me", Craig said quietly, "It's all because of me"

Later that night, Craig grabbed his guitar and some clothes. Slowly he made his way past Joey and Caitlin's room careful not to make any noise. Craig paused briefly at Angie's door, sliding it open to see the moonlight fall across her face. She looked so much like their mother. Craig didn't want to hurt his family anymore, the way he had hurt everyone else. Silently, he made his way out of the house and set out down the street.

* * *

Joey meandered onto the set, unsurewhat was or was not part of the movie. Suddenly, Jay and Silent Bob were attacking him with faux-Jedi swords. Startled, Joey put his hands in the air. "Um, I was looking for Caitlin" Joey said apologetically.

"Cut!" yelled Kevin, "This family is slowing down my movie". Kevin walked away pulling off his cap and wig, dejectedly. As Caitlin and Joey hurried out of the room, all of the extras began milling around.

Manny walked over to a darkened corner, running her fingers through her hair. She was careful not to touch the meticulously applied makeup. She stood by herself lost in thought until she felt someone behind her.

"Spinner!" she gasped, turning around, "You scared the hell out of me"

"Sorry" Spinner said, "You looked lost"

"Just thinking"

"You look great by the way" Spinner said taking in her costume, a form-fitting yellow prom dress. Her hair was curled wildly around her face making her look sexy and sweet at the same time.

"Perks of the job" Manny replied simply.

"Look Manny" Spinner began, "I just wanted to say I'm sor—"

"Spin, you don't have to"

"I do" Spinner stopped her, "You were trying to be my friend and I treated you like you weren't good enough. But you're a better friend than I ever was"

"I'm just glad you're getting a second chance. Everyone deserves one", Manny said to mostly to herself. "And you're my friend. I want you to be happy"

"Just your friend?" Spinner asked suggestively.

"Just friends" Manny said. They both looked at each other unsure of where to go from here. Manny spoke up first. "So can you believe Mr. Jeremiah walking on set like that?"

"He probably needed to talk to Caitlin about Craig" Spinner offered.

"Craig?" Manny asked puzzled,"What about Craig? He's in England"

"No he's not. Craig was living in the boiler room. Apparently, him and Ashley broke up and Craig lost it"

"Where is he now?"

"Craig's missing" Emma said coming out of nowhere "Manny have you talked to him?"

"Not since prom night" Manny said. She was a little panicked at the thought of Craig being on the streets. "Should we go look for him? Let me change" Manny started to head towards the dressing rooms but Emma stopped her.

"I think Joey already contacted the police. They're out looking for him" Emma pulled Manny aside. "I think Joey said that Craig stopped taking his medication", she said lowering he voice.

"We have to find him, Em. He told me what happened before he started taking his meds. Now, he's on the street alone". Manny walked determinedly over to where Kevin Smith was standing. "Um, Mr. Smith I need to go".

"That's it, I'm never filming at a real high school again", Kevin said in exasperation. "We're just about to shoot the final scenes. We need you Manny".

"I'm sorry. I can't stay here", Manny said. And with that, she turned and walked out the door.

* * *

Caitlin and Angie sat in the living room of the Jeremiah house putting together missing person posters. Manny came into the room, as she was finishing her phone call. "Emma said she'll be over as soon as baby Jack is asleep and Spike gets back", Manny said putting her cell phone away, "Snake's out with Mr. Jeremiah looking for Craig".

"Thanks, Manny", Caitlin said with a sigh, "You and Emma have been so great helping out." Just then the doorbell rang and Caitlin walked over to answer it.

Caitlin was surprised to see Kevin standing at the door. "Hey" she said.

"Hey" Kevin said awkwardly. The tension between them was palpable but he tried to ignore it. "Hope this isn't being too intrusive."

"No" Caitlin said quickly, "No come in"

Kevin stepped into the foyer. "I felt like maybe I should stop by and see if you guys heard anything"

"Craig still isn't home" Angela said despondently from the couch. She looked down at the pictures of her and Craig with sadness.

"You know Craig's a pretty cool kid. I kind of feel like I pushed him over the edge with this whole angsty summer of love stuff" Kevin said.

Caitlin looked back at Angie and lowered her voice "Kevin, we're dying over here. I just wish we could talk to him you know? Two minutes, anything"

"Well do you think maybe a public appeal made by a Z-Grade celebrity might help in any way? It's worth a shot right?" Kevin said with a shrug, "Besides my leading lady refuses to leave here and it seems like I won't finish this movie until Craig is found".

"Well, I'm happy to know this is a selfless act", Caitlin said with a laugh. She moved aside and welcomed Kevin into the house. "Let me call my producer and get a camera crew out here."

"Come on Angie", Manny said gathering up the poster materials. "Let's take this stuff in the kitchen". As she passed Kevin, Manny whispered. "Thank you"

"You're welcome" Kevin whispered.

As Kevin and Caitlin organized things in the living room, Manny and Angie continued to go through the pictures of Craig. Manny picked up a picture of Craig and Angie. They were both smiling at the camera happily. It was then that Manny noticed the silence in the room. She looked up and saw Angie staring forlornly into space.

"You okay Angie?" Manny said, softly.

"Craig doesn't want to live here anymore", Angie said quietly, "He and Daddy fight. And Daddy and Caitlin fight. No one wants to stay here"

"I'm sure that's not true" Manny said putting her arms around the little girl. Although Angie had grown a lot in the past year, she was still a child and with all the upheaval in the house, she was definitely falling through the cracks. "Craig is a little sick" Manny tried to explain. "And sometimes he doesn't make the right decisions".

"ButI know hewants to leave. He's never home anymore. He's always with Ashley or at school or at the doctor", Angie said in a small voice, "He doesn't like us".

"Angie, I don't know what Craig is thinking but I'm sure Craig loves you lots, okay?" Suddenly, Manny came up with an idea. "Look Angie, I know it's not the same as a big brother but if you need someone to talk to, or take you to the park, I can be like your big sister. Sound good?"

Angie nodded hesitantly. "Can you teach me how to do flips like you do?" she asked.

"As many as you want me to teach you" Manny promised. "And don't worry, they're going to find Craig".

Luckily, Manny was right and a few hours later Craig was back home and in his own bed. He had calmed down some but his mind was still going a million miles an hour. Images, words, memories, everything as flashing through his mind and he couldn't seem to shut it off. He wanted his guitar. Already, he was missing the calm that came over him when his fingers plucked the strings. Restless he picked up a pen, and began to write.

_There'll never be a single place/ where I feel safe/ where I can escape from you  
__Though time may erase/ that sad look on your face/ love is one thing I can't do  
__I can't run and I can't hide/ A feeling inside me won't subside  
__I'm an abandoned soul and all I need is the truth_

* * *

_A few days later, _Craig had readjusted to his medication, the movie was finally wrapping and Caitlin was moving back to LA. Things were changing again. Kevin and Jason stood on the auditorium stage completely decked out in Canadian colors finishing the last scene of the film.

"Thank you Canada" Kevin said as Silent Bob, "You made me and my fawn hetero-life mate, feel like a big part of your home and native land. And seriously made this the best 'bleepin' year of our lives. Woo!"

The room erupted in laughter and cheers. Manny and Emma stood up throwing their graduation caps in the air. It felt like they were really starting a new chapter in their lives. Somehow making this movie was helping to erase some of the awfulness that had resided in the school this year. Even if it couldn't get rid of all of the awfulness that seemed to have settled in them.

"Cut! Degrassi, that's a wrap!" Kevin began to hug his co-stars as he walked off the stage. "Kid's don't ever work again!" he said, pseudo-sarcastically to Toby and Ellie. Manny walked up to Kevin and gave him a warm hug. "You were heaven on earth love. You were really great" he whispered to her.

"Thanks so much, for everything" Manny said referring to Craig. She still felt bad for holding up the production.

"No problem" Kevin said nicely, "Now get out of my way. Mushy girls"

"Don't I get a hug?" Jason said sidling up to her.

"Good bye, Jason" Manny said sweetly. She laughed as he and Kevin walked off the set arguing as usual. She caught up with Emma who was teasing Toby about his movie debut.

"So are you ready for the summer?" Emma asked Toby.

"Yeah, Kate, Dad and I are going to California for a while" Toby said, "It's not London but at least Ashley won't be the only one having a cool summer. What about you two?"

"I'll be here" Emma said, "We can't really do the whole family vacation thing with all of Jack's expenses and we're still paying off Snake's medical bills". As Emma went on, Manny tuned her out and gazed around the room. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Craig standing there.

The two of them glanced at each other neither wanting the other to know they were looking. Manny pretended to be paying attention to what Emma was saying but she couldn't concentrate. Finally, their eyes connected and for a moment everything seemed to stop. The two of them continued to gaze at each other until Emma hit Manny over the head with her fake diploma. "Manny!"

"What?" Manny said, turning away from Craig. When she looked back he was smiling at her affectionately. She smiled back and they started to move towards each other, until Craig saw Joey trying to sneak out of the auditorium. Craig hesitated for a second but decided to follow Joey out into the hallway. With a look of understanding, Manny watched him walk away.

"Joey" Craig said pushing through the auditorium doors "Where are you going? The party's just getting started". He could tell Joey was upset so he tried to make his voice as lighthearted as possible.

"Home" Joey said angrily "Sorry Caitlin's home". Craig could see Joey's anger and sadness boiling just under the surface.

"This can't work, Joey. If I'm going to be honest with you, you have to be honest with me. We're supposed to talk, remember? It goes both ways" As Craig spoke, Joey seemed to break down. When Joey looked up, his eyes were wet with tears.

"I don't want her to go" Joey admitted. He leaned on his stepson for support. Suddenly, their roles were reversed and it was Craig gathering Joey in his arms.

"I know. I know" Craig said reassuringly, "But I'm here and Angie's here and we're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. Just don't give up on me, Joey."

"Never" Joey said, sincerely. The two of them walked back inside just in time for Kevin's toast.

"To Degrassi!" he yelled. Caitlin and Joey looked at each other sadly, as they raised their glasses and toasted to their goodbye.

* * *

Craig searched the room until he found who he was looking for. Slowly, Manny turned until their eyes met. The two of them walked across the room until they were face to face.

"Angie told me you helped with the posters. And you talked to her" Craig said, "Thanks"

"Angie's a good kid. She reminds me of me".

"Yeah she reminds me of you too" Craig replied.

"So I remind you of your little sister?"

"Not exactly" Craig said, looking her up and down. At one time, Manny's innocence made her and Angela seem almost the same age but Manny had grown up a lot since then. Right then, dressed in a short, pink mini skirt and fitted tank top, Manny conjured anything but sisterly thoughts in Craig's mind. Taken aback by these feelings, Craig decided to change the subject. "So I wanted to say thanks and tell you that Angie is really excited for you to come by"

"I'm sure with Caitlin leaving. Now she's the only girl in the house again"

"Angie can handle it. She's a tough girl"

"I'm not so sure", Manny said, thoughtfully, "I'm happy to hang out with Angie anytime though. No one should have to spend the summer alone".

"Yeah, I agree" Craig said.

* * *

**A/N: So I have all these thoughts for the stuff ahead but I don't want to rush things. Do you feel like I'm cutting things out or not giving enough detail? I'm not sure if it's balanced right. **

**toe socks: hehe toe socks. I like your name.**


	10. A Sinner's Prayer

**A/N: Sorry this took so long but there's been a lot going on and I wanted to make sure I got this part right. Also, thanks for the feedback and suggestions. I tried to be more detailed in this section, and there is more Cranny though I'm still working towards the major Cranny moments. Ignore the thing about Snake and Spike needing to work overtime, they just are because Spike's shop is booming after she did hair for the movie and Snake is doing summer school and night school to earn extra money. Thanks for that note Devadata. **

* * *

**Chapter 10: A Sinner's Prayer**

Emma walked the streets of Toronto alone. It was after midnight and the air was crisp, despite the fact that it was mid-summer. She walked the same route every night. She'd tried so hard not to leave the house, but lying awake in bed was not helping and it seemed as if the night air called out to her. Emma knew her mom and Snake would freak out if they knew she was sneaking out of the house again. She also knew they worried about her everyday and it made it harder on her. Emma couldn't be so upset they'd worry but she couldn't be too normal or they would think she was lying. She couldn't tell them the truth but she had to omit reality. Emma couldn't express to them how her stomach was twisted up in knots and that she couldn't sleep. It was as if something was changing inside of her and she didn't know how or when it was going to come out. Since the movie had wrapped, Emma was feeling more isolated than ever. With Manny babysitting Angie, and her mom and Snake working all day and sometimes in the evenings, Emma was truly alone. And being alone was what she feared most.

* * *

"Come on Ange!" Manny called from the bottom of the stairs. "If we leave now I can teach you those flips and we'll have time to play on the swings".

"I can't find my sneaker!" Angie called from her room.

"Ok I'm coming up", Manny replied. Sometimes getting Angie to find anything in her messy room took half the day. She walked up the stairs and made her way down the hall. On the way she paused by Craig's closed door. Tentatively, she raised her hand to knock on the door but decided against it.

"I'm not there anyway" Craig said from behind her. Startled, Manny yelped and turned around.

"I'm sorry" Manny said, contritely. "I just wanted to say hi. So … hi! See you later."

"Wait, Manny" Craig called after her. "I wanted to talk to you." He paused at the look of shock on her face. "About Angie," he clarified.

"Yeah, right. About Angie," Manny said blushing "What do you want to know?"

"I was just wondering how is she doing since Caitlin left, and I…", Craig trailed off.

"She's ok. She misses Caitlin. And Joey hasn't really been around since Caitlin left. She misses all of you."

"Joey and I are right here" Craig said slightly puzzled.

"No you're not. You don't know how to be" Manny said bluntly, "You two are too busy crying over Ashley and Caitlin"

"It's not that simple" Craig protested, "There's other things to –". Craig broke off as Angela came into the hallway.

"I found it" Angie said with a grin.

"Ok, go put on your jacket and we'll leave right now" Manny said urging the younger girl down the stairs. As Angie started down the steps, Manny turned back to Craig. "We'll talk about this later" she said, leaving quickly. Craig wanted to continue. There was so much more to say but he couldn't bring himself to go after her.

* * *

Joey walked around the dealership in a daze. Ever since Caitlin had left for L.A., he'd felt dead inside. Despite the conversation he and Craig had had, Joey couldn't help but let the despair take over him. He and Caitlin had so many chances and he was afraid that their last one had just passed him by. Sometimes he still felt guilty. In a way, he deserved this. He'd hurt Caitlin so many times, he wondered if they could ever really be together without the baggage of the past creeping up on them. He wondered if they were truly meant to be.

"Knock, knock." Joey looked up to see Sydney standing at his office door. "Hey, stranger", she said walking into the office.

"Sydney!" Joey exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Heard you might need a friend."

* * *

"So you talked to her?" Ellie tried to avoid Craig as she served food at the Dot. Since Spinner was taking classes all day, Ellie had been able to get a job working there and even tough she'd moved back in with her mom, she wasn't going to be dumb enough not to plan for a rainy day.

"I told you Craig, she called me the other night. No, she didn't ask about you. Yes, she's having a good time. No, she hasn't met anyone else. Now if you don't move you're going to make me drop this plate." Ellie moved past him quickly going to pick up the next order.

"Did she say my name? Did she mention any other guys?"

"Craig!" Ellie said suddenly, "You're driving me crazy! Email her."

"She went to England to get away from me, Ellie. I don't think I should start bombarding her with emails. You didn't tell her about what happened did you?"

Ellie finally paused. "I promised you I wouldn't and I won't, but maybe you need to do what Ashley's doing. Let go."

"She's not letting go. She said just needed some space," Craig said following Ellie around the restaurant, "Did she tell you she's letting go?"

"Ok, she's just getting some space, whatever, but either way she's having a better summer than you are right now because you won't just relax and focus on yourself." As Ellie talked she moved around behind the counter hurriedly, already accustomed to the intense atmosphere of the Dot at rush hour. She paused for a second. "Come to a group session with me."

"Joey's already got me going to see someone. I'm all counseled out. I think if I have anymore sessions my head might explode from overanalyzing."

"Well what does your therapist say about this whole thing with Ashley?"

Craig looked down sheepishly. "That I shouldn't be in a relationship while I'm getting used to my condition"

Ellie looked back at him hard. "I know you're not big on authority and all, but take the advice. At least, for the rest of this summer, focus on you. Pretend you're single." Ellie looked at Craig again. "Actually not too single", she clarified. Craig sighed inwardly. One thing about Ellie never changed, she wasn't about to let him forget about his infidelity. She had a memory as long as an elephant's.

* * *

Manny did a single cartwheel landing in a full split. "Ta-da!" she said, extending her hands into the air. Angela clapped happily for her. "Now you try", Manny said as she stood up. Angie began a series of cartwheels on the grass and after only a few tries nailed the stunt.

Manny looked at the long-limbed little girl and shook her head. _'Ah to be young again'_, she thought admiring Angie's flexibility.

"Having fun?" Emma said. She pushed the stroller up to the grass and stood there with Baby Jack.

"Jack!" Angie said barreling over to them. "Can I play with him Emma?"

"Ok but he's only crawling Angie. No running all over the place". Emma began to take Jack out of the stroller.

"I know, Emma", Angie said in exasperation. Angie lifted the baby into her arms and placed him gently on the grass. While Angie and Jack crawled around on the grass, Emma and Manny went to go sit down on a bench nearby.

"So how's your summer been?" Emma asked Manny. The two of them had barely seen each other even though they were some of the only people still around.

"It's been ok. Mostly hanging out with Angie. Joey and Craig don't really seem to have time for her", Manny looked at the little girl with a hint of sadness, "It's hard when the people you love can't take care of you."

"I know", Emma whispered. Both of them sat in contemplative silence, a feeling of melancholy washing over them.

"So what about you?" Manny asked, attempting to change the mood. "How's your summer going?"

"Same as you. Taking care of Baby Jack. Mom's busy at the salon because '_everyone who's anyone'_ wants their hair done by a stylist to the stars", Emma said in a mock accent. "And Snake's teaching summer school. He says Spinner's doing well by the way."

"Yeah I know. He's actually doing work. The only time I see him is when he stops by to talk to Craig. They're kind of becoming friends again. A little."

"And you and Spinner?"

"I am officially on break from everything. That includes school, cheerleading _and_ guys", Manny declared. "What about you? You and Chester were looking kind of cozy before the summer started. I'm sure he's been mowing the lawn with no shirt on. Have you offered him some lemonade yet?" Manny's eyebrows were arching up and down suggestively, making Emma laugh.

"Sorry, nothing to tell. Chester and I are just friends. Besides I kind of…" Emma trailed off.

"What Em?" Manny said with concern. Lately, Emma seemed to go from cheery and fun to serious in no time at all.

"I've kind of been thinking about Sean lately", Emma said hurriedly.

"Sean?" Manny said, "Em, Sean's in Wasega Beach and I don't think he's coming back. Ellie sent him his stuff and moved out of the apartment. It's all boarded up." She was about to go on but Emma cut her off.

"I know! I just miss him. I could talk to Sean. He understands me."

"Emma, I know that I haven't been around a lot but you know you can talk to me right?" Manny looked at her questioningly, "I just don't want you holding out for Sean. He might not come back to Degrassi."

"You want me to talk to you? You're not exactly the picture of stability right now either Manny," Emma replied.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she said slowly.

"You're becoming Angela's mom," Emma said harshly, "You're always at Joey's making Angie's meals, taking her out, getting her ready for bed. And let's not forget that Angie is Craig's sister."

"I'm not hanging out with Angie to get closer to Craig. He doesn't even see me that way. He's still hung up on Ashley."

"That doesn't change the fact that you're not Angie's mom, and you can't be Caitlin's replacement," Emma paused, "And Angie can't replace the baby you decided to get rid of."

"You know what Emma?" Manny said, standing up, "I'll be here when you need to talk and I'll be your friend but I'm starting to get sick of this. Any time I mention anything that you don't like, you attack me. I know I'm not perfect but I'm trying to be your friend. I don't want to see you get hurt again." Manny turned away and headed towards the children. "Come on Angie. We need to get dinner started." Emma picked up Baby Jack and held him in her arms as she watched her best friend walk away.

* * *

Joey and Sydney were having drinks at a restaurant not too far from the dealership. The two of them had spent an uncomfortable ride over and Sydney decided, in her usual fashion to dive right into the problem. "So how have things been, Joey?" she asked.

"It's been kind of hard", Joey said, thickly, "Caitlin's in LA, working. She's written a couple of times and sent Angie some things."

"How is Angie doing?"

"She's good. Manny's been at the house, helping out with her." Sydney frowned at this but let him continue. "Craig's okay. He misses Ashley a lot. But he's going to counseling and staying on his meds."

"Joe, I'm worried about you. The day-to-day stuff. Getting Angie out, making sure her and Craig are eating. Grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, how are those things being accomplished?"

"I told you Manny's helping out."

"Manny's a child, too," Sydney said, "She's only 15 herself."

"I can't." Joey's voice broke as he spoke. "I can't think about this right now."

"But you need to. I know Caitlin left and I know it's hard, but Angie and Craig need you, not some little girl who takes Angie to the park and picks up around the house."

"Syd, I need some time. Things will be back to normal when school starts."

"I can come by and help out any time you need me to," Sydney said, sliding her hand in his.

"That would be nice," Joey said with relief.

* * *

"Hey!" Craig said as Manny and Angie walked in the door. He was standing behind the kitchen counter with an apron on that said 'Kiss the Cook' and some vegetables in his hands.

"Hey, Craig!" Angie said running over. She stopped short when she realized what he was doing. "You're cooking?"

"Yeah I thought I'd get dinner started. Go wash your hands Ang, and come help me slice tomatoes."

"Okay!" Angie said starting up the stairs.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow Angie" Manny said, heading towards the door.

"No!" Craig said quickly. Manny turned around and looked at him. "I mean, you should stay for dinner too. Besides I need help."

"Okay", Manny said slipping off her jacket. She walked over to the kitchen sink and rinsed off the tomatoes and peppers. "What are you making?"

"Craig's Spaghetti Surprise!" he announced happily.

"What's the surprise?" Manny said with a smile.

"A chef never reveals his secrets," Craig replied mysteriously. Manny picked a can out of the trash.

"Ragu©?" she said. "Your secret is Ragu©?"

(**A/N: I don't own Ragu©. This story is no way an endorsement of Ragu©; though their Robusto Super Chunky Mushroom© is da bomb!) **

Manny wanted to laugh at him but she held it in. At least he was trying. Just then, Angie came down the stairs and kissed Craig on the cheek before settling down to slice tomatoes.

"What was that for, Ang?" Craig asked.

"Your shirt", Angie said matter-of-factly. Craig had forgotten the writing on his apron. He shrugged his shoulders and continued slicing peppers but Angie's next words stopped him short. "Now it's your turn Manny. Whenever Daddy wears that apron me and Caitlin both have to give him a kiss."

Craig and Manny looked at each other uncomfortably. Craig felt rooted to the ground. His first inclination was to run away. Not because the thought of kissing Manny was repulsive but because it was almost too enticing. He shifted his weight unsure of what to do but Manny solved the dilemma for him. She walked over and calmly placed a kiss on his cheek. "There", she said. "Let's finish dinner." Her breath lingered on his skin as did the feeling of her lips but Craig pushed it out of his mind and went back to cooking. Like Ellie had said, he wasn't single, yet.

Joey came in the house an hour later to find Craig, Manny and Angie eating sitting around the dinner table laughing as Angie and Manny attempted to throw spaghetti noodles in Craig's mouth. He stood in the doorway and watched the three of them playing around. Angie threw back her head with laughter as a spaghetti noodle tangled itself in Craig's hair. Craig made a silly face sending both girls into fits of laughter, before they attempted to throw another noodle at his open mouth. Joey watched the scene with a mixture of sadness and amusement. _It'll be okay,_ he thought, though he still wasn't sure if he believed it. "Hey you guys. Stop playing with your food," Joey said with a smile as he entered the room. He settled down to the table, to have a meal with his family.

* * *

Emma walked the darkened streets alone, again. This time with a vague since of purpose. She didn't want to go there but something was drawing her closer. Though she'd walked the streets alone, night after night, Emma's feet had avoided the spot she swore she'd never go to… to Rick's grave. Tonight she stood in front of the headstone and saw it, studied it for the first time. _Rick Murray, Beloved Son, 1988-2004_. Emma felt the irrational urge to deface those words. To tell the world that Rick was a psycho, a horrible hate-filled person who left pain and death and destruction in his wake. She wanted to leave his grave unmarked and unknown, so no one could ever be touched by his anger again.

Instead, all she could do as cry. Emma stood there a wept for a boy who was dead and shouldn't be. She wept for every bad thing she'd said to him and every phony, fake gesture she'd done to make it up. Emma cried for the part of her that was forever lost that day in the halls Degrassi. The part of her she wished she could get back. Her innocent self that believed she could change the world just by being in it. Emma cried until her vision swam before her and she prayed to the universe to fill the void in her that had appeared with the shot of Rick's gun. She almost didn't feel the hand slip inside of hers.

"It's okay Emma" a voice said beside her. Emma looked up and her breath caught in her throat.

"Sean?" she said. Her prayers had been answered.


	11. Let Me Go

**Disclaimer, etc: This story is a Cranny fic that started midway through season 4 and has gone on to move outside of the episodes so there are no longer any spoilers (unless I'm clairvoyant or the Degrassi writers steal my ideas). **

* * *

**Chapter 11: Let Me Go**

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go  
---_3 Doors Down

"Hey, Manny can I talk to you?" Manny was surprised to find Craig standing on her doorstep so early in the morning. Last night had been a lot of fun but she didn't want to get her hopes up. Craig was screwed up, maybe even more than she was, and getting caught up in his confusion wasn't the best thing for her right now.

"Sure Craig," she said with the slightest hesitation.

"I guess I've kinda been avoiding this… Avoiding talking to you – honestly. But I'm trying … I'm really trying to"

"Craig—", Manny began.

"Just let me finish," Craig stopped her, "I heard what you said about Angie. And about me and Joey not being here. I want things to change and part of that is doing what my therapist has been asking me to do all along. Manny, would you come to therapy with me?"

"Your therapist wants the two of us to have a session together?" Manny said with some disbelief. "Are you sure that's the best thing?"

"She's been asking me to do it for months. I didn't want to … I thought it would make Ash mad, but I can't worry about that anymore. I have to get better for Angie and Joey."

Manny thought about it for a second. Her silence was making Craig uncomfortable but he knew that this was the wrong time to rush her into any decisions. She took a deep breath and spoke. "I'll do it. For Angie and Joey."

* * *

Emma and Sean walked in the light of the early morning. Their hands were intertwined as they strolled lazily toward her house. Last night they'd sat in the cemetery talking for hours. It wasn't until they were sitting like that, Sean's arms wrapped around her, that Emma realized just how much she'd missed him. How much she'd missed the feeling of Sean, the sound of him, the smell.

"Your mom's going to be worried," Sean said breaking the easy silence that had settled upon them.

"She's always worried," Emma replied.

"Well with her daughter running the streets I can understand. Maybe if you would have snuck out a little more when we were dating, we wouldn't have broken up," Sean said with an easy grin.

"Very funny," Emma replied pushing him. She got silent for a second. "When I think about it now … it was all my fault. Why we broke up. I was so stuck up. So unforgiving."

"No you weren't," Sean said truthfully, "You're just more willing to blame yourself now. We broke up because we both needed things that we weren't ready to give to each other."

"So we were equally dumb?" Emma said stopping in front of her house.

"I guess you could say that," Sean said with a smile.

"And what do we do now that we realize how dumb we were?" Emma looked up at Sean expectantly.

"I'm not sure," Sean said leaning forward. The two of them moved closer. In that instant time seemed to stand still and the earth held its breath in anticipation.

"EMMA NELSON!" Spike yelled from the front porch, "You better tell me that you were abducted from this house and you managed to fight off your captors and come back home because that is the only excuse you have for sneaking out last night!" Emma turned guiltily to face her mom.

"We'll talk later," she whispered to Sean.

* * *

Joey was drying the dishes when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Angela said running down the stairs to the front door. She opened it, excitedly. "Oh it's you," Angela said despondently, when she saw Sydney standing on the front porch.

"Angie, don't be rude," Joey said coming up behind her. "Come on in Syd." Sydney stepped into the room, trying to ignore Angie's obvious discomfort. Her eyes swept over the house, and though she tried, Sydney could not help but notice the out of place knick knacks and other trash strewn around the house.

"I stopped by the dealership and they said you were taking the day off," Sydney said.

"Yeah, I promised Ang, some dad time."

"We're going to the park," Angie chimed in.

"Mind if I tag along?" Sydney asked. Angie willed Joey to say 'no' with her eyes but he seemed blind to her demands.

"Sure, Sydney, that would be great," Joey said. "Ang, go grab your jacket." Angie stomped up the stairs loudly though her attitude was lost on her father.

* * *

Craig and Manny were sitting side by side … on opposite ends of the couch. Both of them sat ramrod straight, their backs straining.

"You two can relax," Dr. Perez, Craig's therapist, said. "Don't worry we're just going to talk. I want to know how you two are feeling." She noticed the uncomfortable glances between the two teenagers. "This isn't about your feelings for each other," she clarified. "I know that relationships can change. What I want to know is how the events of the past couple of years have impacted you personally and for Craig, in particular, this session is an opportunity for you to honestly discuss how your relationship with Manny may have been affected by your disorder or how the relationship may have contributed to your episode."

"You think my abortion may have caused Craig to get sick," Manny asked quietly.

"Oh no Manny," the therapist said quickly. "The truth is Craig's disorder is a part of him, no _one _thing caused it. But because of his illness, Craig reacts to things differently than other people, and not being able to deal with situations competently has caused him to have manic episodes. But no one event or person could have caused Craig's illness."

Manny began to breathe a little easier but she was still uncomfortable with the situation. "I still don't understand," she said. "How does everything fit together?"

"Well, we don't know yet," the therapist replied. "Tell me how you felt after your abortion. That must have been very hard for a girl your age." Manny looked between Craig and the counselor uncomfortably. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

Manny felt as if she were standing outside of herself, reliving every moment of that horrible ordeal. She had tried so hard to push all those memories down and now they were rushing back suddenly. She was lying on the table. She felt as if her entire being was being sucked out of her. Manny felt as if the room were spinning.

"Manny? Are you okay?" Craig said, placing a hand on her arm.

"I think I need some air," she said breathing in deep gulps. Manny stood up and walked out of the room practically running until the cool air outside hit her. She found herself bent over the bushes outside the doctor's office, vomiting.

"Manny!" Craig said. He placed a comforting hand on her back. She looked up at him, wiping her mouth with the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry", she said, with tears in her eyes. "I can't do this Craig. Tell Dr. Perez I'm sorry. I know how much this means to you and Angie and Joey but –"

"Manny, it's ok." Craig said. "I understand. I'll go explain to the doctor. Just go home. I'll work it out."

"I'm sorry. I want to help you. I really do." Manny said desperately. "I just can't." She turned quickly and walked away and all Craig could do was watch her go.

* * *

"Watch me Daddy! Watch me!" Angie completed three cartwheels in a row landing in a half-split.

"That's amazing Ang!" Joey said, giving her a hug.

"Thanks, Manny taught me."

"That really is great Angie," Sydney chimed in. Angie looked at her and turned back to Joey.

"Can we go get Craig and go to dinner? You promised we could go out tonight."

"Okay Angie, let me just say good bye to Syd."

"Okay," Angie said with a sigh.

Joey pulled Sydney to the side. "I guess this is good bye. I'll see you some other time, okay Syd?"

"Well, I could come along," Sydney said hopefully.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Joey said hesitantly. "Craig is always kind of out of it after his sessions and I know Angie wants to spend some time with just us."

"You're letting the children control your life, Joe."

"Angie's been through a lot this year. So has Craig. And with Caitlin – I owe it to them to put them first."

"What about you? You're still trying to heal. You need to take some time for yourself."

"I can't think about that right now Sydney. I have an obligation to my kids. I'll see you some other time." Joey walked away with Angie happily at his side.

* * *

"And you will not – I repeat will not – leave this house past the hour of nine for the next month and a half. Is that clear young lady?" Emma had been listening to her mother rant and rave for hours and she was anxious to get to Sean again.

"It's clear mom. I promise, my days of sneaking out of the house are over."

"Why do you do this Emma? Are you – are you seeing that boy Jay again?"

"Ugh. God no. It's not about a guy." Emma paused. "I don't know why I do this Mom. I don't know why I don't sleep. I just can't and the next thing I know I'm walking down the street, and I have all these things going on in my head."

"Then talk to someone, Em. If you can't talk to me, we'll get you help."

"I'll be fine. I'm getting better. I guess I just need to find me again. And I'm getting there. I swear."

"Look, I understand if you need to sort some things out, but can you do it without walking the streets of Toronto in the middle of the night?"

"Ok. Now can I go?"

"Go?"

"Please, Mom," Emma said, grabbing her jacket. "I promise I'll be back for dinner." She headed for the door without looking back.

"Emma, what's the rush?" Emma poked her head back in the room, with a grin. "Sean's back!"

* * *

Sean stood at the door of the Dot watching Ellie bus tables. Her long red hair covered her face as she bent over, wiping down the tables. Without warning, she looked up and spotted him watching her. She stood there frozen for a second before coming to life and heading over to the door.

"I didn't know they taught stalking in Wasega Beach," she said dryly.

"Hey it's where I learned to hotwire a car," Sean replied lightly.

"What are you doing back here?"

"Came to see what was left. I guess my apartment didn't make the cut."

"I couldn't afford it. And my mom wanted me to move back home."

"So you and your mom are getting along?"

"Gotta move on right? Let go. Make peace. We couldn't be orphans forever," she said sadly.

"Yeah. I guess not," Sean replied, looking at her seriously. Both of them looking at each other with a sadness and strength they'd never felt before.

"I need to get back to work."

"Yeah, yeah … you should," Sean said looking away.

"I guess I'll see you later." Ellie moved toward him hesitantly and they melted into each other like liquid. Ellie kissed him softly on the cheek. Neither one of them noticed Emma watching them from down the block.

* * *

"She ran out of the session." Craig told Joey later on that night. Angie had fallen asleep almost immediately after they'd gotten back from dinner and the two of them were trying to have what Craig's therapist called "quality father/son time".

"That's understandable. I don't know if Manny's even dealt with everything that happened last year, and I'm sure talking about it in front of you doesn't make it easy."

"Sometimes … I don't know. Before everything happened, being around Manny was so much fun. Now I feel … I don't know what I feel when I'm around her."

"Do you want to be with her?"

"Caitlin asked me that once. When I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be with Manny or Ashley, she told me to follow my heart."

"And what did you do?"

Craig laughed, "I went to the ice skating rink and I told Manny I wanted to be with her."

"Maybe you need to follow your heart again."

"Maybe" Craig said sadly, "It might bethe only part of me that isn't screwed up."

* * *

Manny listened to the sounds of 3 Doors Down as she packed away her things. She hummed along, listening to the lyrics of the song.

_One more kiss could be the best thing  
__But one more lie could be the worst  
__And all these thoughts are never resting  
__And you're not something I deserve_

Craig knocked on the window of Manny's bedroom, hoping her parents wouldn't hear. Manny pulled aside the curtain, surprised to see him standing there. As always seeing Craig was a sweet shock and Manny had to shake herself and tell her body to act normal.

_In my head there's only you now  
__This world falls on me  
__In this world there's real and make believe  
__And this seems real to me_

"What are you doing here?" Manny said opening the window and stepping aside to let him pass. She walked over to the desk and turned down the volume on the stereo. Craig climbed over the windowsill, landing awkwardly inside the bedroom.

"I've never been here before," he said looking around. Manny's room was almost exactly as he had imagined though Craig was surprised to see just as many rock stars as pop stars pinned on the wall and where he expected to see lots of stuffed animals, Craig found there were also books of plays and poetry on her shelves.

"Yeah there's a good reason you've never been here. His name is Dad."

"Oh yeah, him," Craig replied.

"So what are you doing here?"

"Are you going somewhere?" Craig said, noticing the open luggage on her bed.

"I was going to call Angie and tell her," Manny said almost apologetically, "I'm leaving tomorrow … to stay with my aunt in New York for the rest of the summer."

"New York," Craig said with surprise.

"My aunt has a really great apartment in the city and she said that she could get me connected with a theater group that needs some young actors for a production." Manny talked quickly to cover up the silence in the room.

"That sounds really great," Craig said half-heartedly. "I'm happy for you."

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Manny asked.

"I – um… I just wanted to make sure you were okay… you know, after everything that happened," Craig said quickly.

"Yeah. I'm … I'll be ok," Manny said quietly. "Well, I'm sorry I couldn't stay around to help. Tell Angie I'll see her soon."

"I'll pass the message along," Craig said moving towards the window.

"And I'll write too. I don't want her to think I've just left. I know how that feels."

"Yeah." Craig started to leave but he stopped himself. "Hey Manny," he said. She looked at him expectantly and for a moment, they both felt the air turn heavy with the ghosts of what could have been. "I'll see you when you get back," Craig said before he threw his leg over the windowsill and walked away.

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
__I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
__And you love me but you don't know who I am  
__So let me go ...__Let me go_

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update. I'm excited to get to the school year now that spoilers and specs have started for the next season. Btw, I understand that it was a long wait for this chapter but I will try to update regularly from now on. Pushing me or threatening me won't get the chapters out any earlier. In fact, it makes me _not_ want to update at all. **

* * *


	12. New Beginnings?

**Chapter 12: New Beginning?**

**_A/N: Thanks for the wonderful comments everyone. I'm really happy that you're all enjoying this story. So this next chapter may be a little spoilerish (if you believe the season 5 spoilers that are circulating. I, personally, am excited about most of them). And I will be introducing the Peter character as well as an old face for some of the readers who are familiar with the DH mythos. Hope you like. _**

_Six Weeks Later_

Craig waited anxiously with Ellie in front of Ashley's house. The two of them stood there holding a giant banner which read "WELCOME BACK ASHLEY!" in giant red letters. Slowly, Mrs. Kerwin pulled up into the driveway and Toby and his father stepped out of the car. Mrs. Kerwin turned off the engine and then she followed. Craig craned his neck, hoping he was missing something but he wasn't.

Ashley wasn't with them.

* * *

"Hey Em!" Manny said, walking up the stairs to Emma's house. Emma was sitting on the porch tanning and reading a fashion magazine, but she jumped up suddenly when she saw Manny standing there. 

"You cut your hair!" she squealed, running over to Manny. Her once long and curly black locks were now cut into a sleek, layered style that barely touched her shoulders. Emma marveled at how different her best friend looked. There was a new Manny in front of her. Though still sexy and fun, Manny had ditched the fluffy pinks and light blues and was subdued in more subtle shades of blue and green. Her jeans were fitted but tasteful and she wore bright colored sandals with a low heel. "I love it," Emma said.

"Thanks. My mom freaked."

"So how was New York? You have to tell me all about it." Emma pulled Manny down on the chair beside her.

"It was fun," Manny said. "I was in a show at the local theater and the director said I was really good and he thinks I could do some professional acting."

"I knew it! You're going to be a big star."

"Let's not get crazy, Em. A director of a local community theatre said I was good; not some Hollywood producer."

"You're just being modest," Emma insisted, "You were already in a movie and now a director says you're good. My best friend is going to be the next Julia Roberts!"

"Sure, I've practically got experience playing a hooker," joked Manny. Emma sat silently, her disapproval written on her face. "Okay … not funny. But speaking of my indiscretions how is Craig?"

"I don't really know, but your trip to New York did give me some extra baby-sitting money. I've been taking care of Angie for Joey when Craig has counseling and Joey has work."

"How is Angie?" Manny said with a hint of sadness. "I wish I didn't have to go to New York and leave her."

"Hey," Emma said, rubbing her friend's back, "You don't have to feel responsible for Angie. Besides she's a strong kid."

"I did email her a couple of times."

"And she read me every one. Angie really loves you. Plus my cartwheels are nowhere near as good as yours."

"That is true," Manny replied and they both collapsed in laughter.

* * *

"What do you mean she's staying in London?" Craig asked. Toby opened the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of orange juice. 

"The night before we left, she told us that she wanted to stay," Toby said taking a sip of his drink. "She said that she'd made a lot of friends and she wanted to spend more time with her dad."

"And your mom just let her stay!" Craig said incredulously.

"Kate couldn't stop her. It's her decision."

"What about our senior year? She didn't mention this to anyone."

"Actually…" Ellie started.

"What?" Craig advanced on her like a madman. "You knew about this?"

"No, not exactly," Ellie said. "She just mentioned that she really loved London and she wished she could spend more time with her dad. I didn't know she would actually stay."

"I can't believe this. She met someone else, didn't she?"

"If she did, she didn't tell us about him," Toby said honestly. "I'm sorry Craig. But she told me to give this to you." Toby pointed to a small box on the kitchen counter. It was wrapped in plain paper and Craig's name was written on the top of it. He walked over to the package and looked at it. "She sent a present for you too Ellie," Toby said. "I think Kate has it. I'll go get it for you."

"Thanks Toby," Ellie said absently, but her mind was focused on Craig. She walked over to him and placed a hand on her shoulder. Craig was immobilized. "Come on, Craig," Ellie aid reassuringly, "You know Ashley wouldn't stay in London for some guy. She probably wants to stay with her dad like she said."

"I know but – You know what? I'm going to go. Tell Toby I said thanks. I'll see you later." Ellie watched him leave even though she wanted to go after him. But she knew from experience, that Craig was going to have to find his own way this time.

* * *

Emma and Manny walked arm in arm, swinging their shopping bags. They had just finished a marathon of back-to-school shopping and Manny was feeling hungry. They were almost to the door of the Dot when Manny noticed Emma hesitate. 

"What's wrong?" Manny paused, her hand on the door. She looked through the window pane to see Sean wiping down tables. "Oh," Manny said knowingly. She tried to back away without being seen but at that moment, Sean looked up and locked eyes with both of them.

Without a word Sean walked to the door, and pushed it open. "Hey Manny," he said. "Haven't seen you in a while"

"I know," Manny replied. "I'm glad you decided to come back." The two of them looked at each other with warmth until Sean's eyes shifted to Emma who was still standing behind Manny.

"If you two want to come in, I'm about to go on a break soon," he said. Sean backed away from the door as they entered. As Emma passed by him, she could feel the heat of his body near hers and she wanted to reach out and touch him but she restrained herself. Ever since, she'd seen him and Ellie kissing, Emma had avoided Sean like the plague. When he first came back she'd swore it was because he wanted to be with her again but that kiss had changed everything. And when he'd started working at the Dot with Ellie, Emma knew that her suspicions were right.

"Emma? … Emma?" Manny said, "What do you want to order?" Emma looked up to find Sean staring at her with a questioning look. To the casual viewer, it seemed as if he were just waiting for her order but Emma knew him well enough to know that there were more questions under the surface.

"I'm not hungry," Emma said softly. When Sean walked away to place the order, Manny immediately turned to Emma full of questions but the look on her friends' face stopped her in her tracks. "I don't want to talk about it," Emma whispered.

* * *

"Craig was devastated," Ellie told Jimmy. "I don't know how he's going to deal with this." The two of them were sitting on Jimmy's porch as Ellie recounted this morning's events. Throughout the summer, Jimmy and Ellie had been relying on each other. Since Ashley had been away and Hazel was out of town visiting family for the summer, they'd become fast friends spending their afternoons playing cards and talking. Now with Ashley's decision to stay in London, Jimmy seemed to be the logical person to turn to. "Did she tell you that she was going to stay?" she asked Jimmy. 

"She didn't tell me anymore than she told you," Jimmy replied. "I mean she knows we're both friends with Craig. She probably didn't want us to know before him."

"It's like … as soon as I start to really connect with someone, they leave," Ellie said.

"Hey, Sean came back didn't he?"

"He came back but not for me. He's back at his apartment and I'm back with my mom. If it wasn't for him working at the Dot this summer, I probably wouldn't even see him."

"How is that working out?" Jimmy asked sympathetically.

"I love spending time with Sean," said Ellie, honestly. "But it's different now that we're not together."

"I'm sorry, Ellie," Jimmy was at a loss. There wasn't anything he could really say to help her but he knew she needed some comfort.

Ellie looked up at him from where she was seated next to his wheelchair. "You don't need to feel sorry," she said. "I'll deal with it. I always do."

"But that's the thing," Jimmy replied, smoothing her hair from her face. "You shouldn't have to."

* * *

Craig headed straight for the garage hoping to bypass any of Joey's parental questioning. He opened the door and made a beeline for the couch. He plopped down and set the package on the table before him. He stared at it but he couldn't will himself to open it up. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there but when he finally came out of his trance it was dark outside. Craig took the package and placed it in a drawer before heading into the house. 

"Hey, buddy!" Joey said when Craig walked in. He was sitting on the couch watching the television. "How was Ashley's homecoming? I figured you be out late so Ang and I ate without you."

"That's … it's fine. I'm not hungry." Craig sat down in a chair across from.

"So how was it?" Joey asked. "How did Ashley like London?"

"I guess she likes it a lot," Craig said despondently. "She's still there."

"What do you mean?" Joey said, though from Craig's expression, he knew it was no joke.

"She decided to stay in London with her dad. She's not coming back to Degrassi."

"Oh I'm sorry, pal," said Joey, soothingly. This was one of those times when Joey was unsure whether to embrace the boy he saw as his son, or let him have his space. It was sad but as close as they were; Joey knew that when it came to Craig he stood on tenuous ground and not just because of Craig's illness.

"It's not your fault," Craig said, almost without emotion. He seemed to be in shock.

"It's not anyone's fault," Joey said, anticipating Craig's train of thought. "I'm not saying I know what Ashley was thinking but she probably made this decision for herself. I don't want you blaming yourself for this."

"I know," Craig said quietly, but they both knew he was lying.

* * *

Waking up the next day, Manny was excited and a little nervous. The first day of school was always a little nerve-wracking but with her new hair, Emma's love crisis, another year of Paige and seeing Craig again for the first time, this year seemed like it was destined to be a turning point in her life. For the first time, Manny felt like she was really comfortable with herself and she wanted that to show. 

She chose her outfit carefully and styled her hair, pinning some of it up. On her way out, she grabbed a piece of toast and ran out the door, much to her mother's chagrin. It wasn't until she was just a block away from Degrassi that she slowed down, taking it all in. She paused as she got close to the building, stopping just to observe it, until she heard the whir of a camera.

"Craig," she said brightening, but when she turned to look it wasn't Craig. Instead there was a sandy, haired boy. He was tall and lanky and had sparkling blue eyes, which she noticed when he lowered the camera from his face. Manny walked over to him, slightly disturbed by his cool appraisal of her. "Do you always take pictures of strangers without them knowing?" Manny asked.

"Sorry," the boy said with a grin. "I couldn't help myself." With one last cool look, he turned and walked away, leaving Manny completely unsettled.

!  
Ellie walked next to Jimmy as he wheeled himself down the hall. "What are the chances of you and me skipping class and playing a game of Yuker?" Jimmy sighed as they neared the classroom.

"On the first day?" Ellie said, "I think we can make it through the first few hours before we start skipping."

"I am so not ready for another year at Degrassi," Jimmy whined. He looked up and spotted Spinner at the end of the hallway. "It just doesn't appeal to me anymore."

"Hey boyfriend!" Hazel said, coming up to them. She bent over and kissed Jimmy on the cheek. "I have so much to tell you." Hazel looked awkwardly at Ellie. "I'll take over from here," she said reaching for the handles of Jimmy's wheelchair.

"I got it, Hazel," Jimmy said turning away. Ellie walked into the classroom behind him, leaving Hazel standing alone in the hall.

!  
"Emma!" Sean called from down the hall. Emma looked at him but continued walking down the hall. "Emma!" Sean was breathless when he finally caught up to her. "Emma, wait! Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Sean" Emma said without slowing down her pace.

"Emma, please." Sean grabbed her shoulder, stopping her outside of the classroom. "You've barely spoken to me since the night I got back. I thought … I thought we were doing good."

"You thought wrong," Emma replied, before she turned on her heel and entered the classroom. Sean stood at the door, staring after her until Mr. Simpson gestured him inside.

!  
"Sorry we're late, Craig" Joey said pulling up to the steps of Degrassi.

"It's fine," Craig said grabbing his backpack out of the backseat. He reached for the handle of the door but he was stopped by Joey's hand on his shoulder.

"Are you going to be okay?" Joey asked.

"I'm fine, Joey," Craig replied. "You don't have to keep worrying about me." Craig opened the door and rushed through the doors of the school. He was in such a hurry that he didn't notice Manny until he had plowed right into her.

"Ow!" she exclaimed. Their books clattered to the floor and they bent to pick them up. "Didn't think I'd run into you like this," Manny said nervously.

"Yea," replied Craig, hurriedly. "What are you doing in the hallway?"

"Ms. Hatzilakos called me to the office. Probably just some spirit squad stuff."

"Well," Craig said gathering the last of his things, "I have to go, I'm late."

"Yea," Manny said standing up. "I guess I'll see you later then." With barely a backwards glance, Craig walked away with Manny staring behind him.

!  
"Hello Manny," Ms. Hatzilakos said as she walked into the room. "I wanted to introduce you to someone." Ms. H pointed to the person standing in her office and Manny almost gasped. There was the boy from this morning. "Manny this is Peter. I was thinking that since you did such a good job last year of showing Chester around that you could be Peter's tour guide for his first day at Degrassi."

"Peter?" Manny said slightly flabbergasted. There was something about this boy that unnerved her.

"Yes, Manny I want you to meet Peter … my son."

!  
"He's her son," Manny said. "Haven't we been calling her "Ms." all these years? When did she have a son?"

"He's kind of cute," Emma remarked. "I'm surprised you haven't fallen in love with him yet."

"Maybe I would if he didn't seem so damn cocky." As if he knew they were talking about him, Peter appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey there," he said, giving Manny and Emma a devilish grin. "Aren't you supposed to be showing me around?" Manny looked at him like he had horns pointing out of his head.

"This is the cafeteria," she said blandly, "There's the line, there's the food. We eat at the tables. It's pretty self-explanatory."

"You know, you're not living up to what my mom told me. She said you were very … accommodating."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Manny.

"So who's your friend?" Peter said, ignoring her question.

"Emma Nelson," Emma replied introducing herself.

"Oh so you're the other _fac brat_," he said knowingly. "Your dad's the media immersion teacher, right?"

"Yea, Mr. Simpson's my dad." Emma started to speak again but Peter had already turned his attention back to Manny. He placed his hand against the wall, blocking the girls' way.

"When do we finish the rest of our tour?" Peter asked seductively. He looked over Manny the way he'd done before after taking her picture. Manny almost shuddered inwardly.

"How about never?" Manny said.

"Sassy" Peter replied. "I like it … but I'm sure my mom won't."

"Are you threatening me?" Manny asked incredulously.

"You take it however you want. I'll see you tomorrow." Peter turned and walked away without even a backwards glance.

!  
"So she just decided to stay in London?" Paige said. She, Ellie, Craig, Jimmy and Hazel were all having lunch together. "I can't believe her. Well I can believe that she would want to stay in London, the shopping is amazing there, but to miss our senior year? That's crazy. We finally have the power to truly rule the school and she throws it all away."

"While you, on the other hand, will be using it all to your advantage," Hazel said sarcastically.

"Exactly," Paige said with a smile. "Senior year is finally here and we are going to live it up. I'm so surprised that Ashley would choose to miss out on it. Did she tell you guys she wasn't coming back?" Paige regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

Everyone looked uncomfortably at Craig, until Ellie spoke up. "No. I mean she told us how much she loved London but that was it."

"You know it's not that big of a deal," Craig said. "She just wants to stay with her dad. Besides it doesn't matter. Like Paige said, we're seniors and it's going to be a great year." Craig picked up his lunch and headed towards the exit.

"Yea it's going to be really great," Jimmy said to Craig's retreating back.

!  
"Tessa?" Joey asked with disbelief. The woman who had been staring at the building in front of her, turned at the sound of her voice. Though she was older, Tessa Campanelli still retained the same youthful look she'd always had. Her blond hair was long and wavy and she was dressed simply in jeans and a button down white shirt. When she saw Joey a host of emotions flitted through her face until she settled on a simple smile.

"Joey Jeremiah," she replied, "What are you doing here? Isn't your daughter too young to attend Degrassi?"

"I'm here to pick up my stepson, Craig," said Joey. "What are you doing in Toronto?"

"I got transferred," Tessa said leaning back against her car. "I thought I'd check out the old school."

"Lots of memories," Joey said. He came to stand beside her. "Sometimes I feel like we never left high school. Still the same drama."

"That's why I left. I needed a change of scenery."

"I understand. You … we never really talked much after that summer."

A flicker of … something went across her expression, but it was quick and fleeting. "Well, things have changed since then." Tessa said, walking around her car. "I should go. I'll see you around Joey." Tessa got in her car and started the engine. Unexpectedly, she lowered the window and leaned over the passenger seat. "It was nice seeing you," she said. Then she revved the engine and drove away.

!  
Craig grabbed the last of his things from his locker and hurried towards the front of the school. He had a counseling appointment and it seemed like ever since he'd woken up, he'd been running late. The entire day had been a blur. He only briefly remembered what had happened during classes. Craig was so lost in his thoughts that once again he didn't notice Manny until he was right on top of her.

"We can't keep bumping into each other like this," Manny said with a smile. Craig looked at her more closely this time. He'd been so late before that he'd barely noticed how much Manny had changed in the few weeks that she'd been gone. Her hair was shorter making her look a lot older and she seemed more poised than ever. She looked up at him expectantly, both of their thoughts clogging the air between them. "Craig, I –," Manny began but he cut her off.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. I'm late for an appointment," Craig said already starting to walk away. "Can we talk later?"

"Later," Manny said with a nod.

"I –." Craig began to say something but he stopped himself. "I like your hair," he said, finally, leaving Manny even more confused than ever.

Craig slammed the door of the car as he got in.

"How was school?" Joey asked.

"Ok," Craig said with a sigh. "How was your day?"

"Ok," Joey said back. The two of them looked at each other for a second and then Joey started the car and drove away.

* * *

Ellie walked alongside Jimmy on their way back to Jimmy's house. They'd been quiet most of the way; each thinking about their day. 

"So Hazel was glad to see you," Ellie said, breaking the silence. Jimmy was quiet for a second before replying with a soft "Yea."

"I'm sure you're glad to see her. She's been gone practically all summer. I guess you two have plans for –"

"I don't really feel like talking about Hazel." Jimmy cut her off mid-sentence. "Can we just be quiet?"

"Sure," Ellie whispered. They walked some more until they reached Jimmy's front porch. Ellie was about to turn and leave when the sound of Jimmy's voice stopped her.

"Do you think Paige was right?" Jimmy asked. "Do you think this is going to be the best year of our lives?"

Ellie looked at him with an expression that was somewhere between melancholy and uncertainty. "I hope so."

* * *

Craig carried Ashley's package up to his room and placed it on the desk in front of him. It was simply wrapped in brown paper. Slowly, he peeled away the layers of wrapping as if unveiling a sacred artifact. Underneath the paper was a white box. Craig removed the lid carefully placing it to the side. Inside was a small, blue notebook and on top of it there were a few sheets of lined paper, with his name written on the outside. Gingerly, Craig unfolded the paper and began to read. 

_**Dear Craig, **_

_**By now you already know that I'm not coming back to Degrassi this year. I want to tell you that I made this decision for myself. And I wish I could tell you that you had no affect on my decision but that's not true. **_

**_The truth is us being together isn't good for either one of us. I thought that if I supported you, you would get better and that would be it but being away has helped me see that what I'm doing isn't helping you at all. I'm scared all the time, I'm worried and I'm making it harder for you to get better. _**

_**Craig this isn't about you. It's about me. I want to be with you but I don't know how. I know you're getting better, Ellie has told me all about it, but what's going to happen if I come back?**_

**_I love London, and I love spending time with my father. I realized that I've spent most of my time at Degrassi either standing on the sidelines, or trying to fit in. Here … I just fit. Maybe I'm running away, and maybe I'm scared but I feel like I found a place that's right for me, right now. I hope you find that place too._**

_**I'm sending you my notebook. All summer I've written about everything I've been feeling (most of it is about us). I want you to see me, really see me, for the first time. **_

_**Love always,**_

_**Ash**_

Craig folded the note along its worn creases and placed it on the table in front of him. Then he picked up the notebook and he began to read.

**TBC.**

_Fac brat_ is a phrase we used in school for faculty's children


	13. Fallen Aphrodite

**Chapter 13: Fallen Aphrodite**

* * *

**A/N: Okay I'm trying not to spoil people (though I myself am helplessly spoiled) and I am also trying to adhere somewhat to the flow of the show though my Cranny reunion will be more planned and careful and WILL NOT include a Cranny/Crellie love triangle. But that being said, it's becoming hard for me to write in conjunction and a part from the show at the same time though I will continue to do so cause I don't want to ignore the major plot twists of the show. **

* * *

The door creaked as Manny entered her house. She was surprised to see her mother right inside the kitchen looking annoyed as she came in. 

"Where have you been?" said Mrs. Santos.

"Nowhere Mama. With Emma."

"Your father was worried," Mrs. Santos said with a sigh.

"I'm okay," Manny said with a hint of annoyance. "You know I can take care of myself. I'm not a baby anymore. I spent over a month in New York. You can trust me."

"It's not you … not completely. We just need to make sure you're safe." Mrs. Santos ran her hand over Manny's head. "You're making all theses changes, moving so fast, acting … boys. I don't want … anything else to happen."

Manny looked down at her feet at her mother's words. "Nothing's going to happen Mama," she said softly. "Look I need to get some clothes for school. Can I have my credit card?"

"Okay," Mrs. Santos said pulling her into an embrace. "But not too much. I know it's your money but it's for necessities." Mrs. Santos pulled back and looked at her daughter. "I love you Manuella."

Manny looked back at her mother and so many words and emotions went through her. "I know Mama," was all she could say.

* * *

"So how much do you know about this Peter guy?" Emma asked Manny as they walked to school the next day. 

Manny groaned. "Emma of all people to use to make Sean jealous you choose Hatzilakos' son!"

"I'm not trying to make Sean jealous. I am strategically _avoiding_ Sean. There's a difference. Besides other than being the principal's son, Peter is kind of cute."

"If you must go down that road … I'll try and find out what I can."

"Thank you," Emma said gleefully.

"Don't thank me too much. I have no choice. If I'm not nice to him, Peter will tell his mother that the welcome wagon has left town."

* * *

"We have a problem," Ellie said setting her backpack down on top of Marco and Jimmy's card game. 

"Well I guess that game is over," Jimmy said putting his cards down. "And since that's over I'm headed over to my meeting."

"Didn't you hear me?' Ellie replied, "I said we have a problem."

"_I _have a meeting with coach. So for right now _you two_ have a problem. I'll see you later." Ellie sighed as she watched Jimmy roll away.

"What's wrong with him?" Ellie said.

"Well other than making Spinner's life miserable, Jimmy is trying to be a part of the basketball team. He's not sure if the coach will let him." Ellie stared at Jimmy's receding figure. "Hey," Marco said. "Remember me? Your old best friend? I'm still here." Ellie looked at him with exasperation.

"Oh are you feeling left out, Marco," Ellie baby talked. "You spent all summer traveling the world and now you're not feeling apart of the crowd?"

"Whatever," replied Marco. "Just because Craig and Jimmy are your new best friends."

"Yeah, well I don't know how much longer Craig is going to be my best friend."

"What's going on?"

"Remember when Ash said she decided to stay in England to be with her dad? Well her dad isn't the only guy she's staying in England for."

"Ashley is dating someone else?" Marco asked with disbelief. "And let me guess … Craig doesn't know about this other guy."

"And I don't want to be the one to tell him," Ellie finished. "Right now Craig is already dealing with the fact that Ash isn't coming back to Degrassi. He's been … numb. I don't want to tell him that Ash has already met someone new."

"So don't" Marco stated simply. He picked up his things and started heading towards the school. "Craig's birthday is coming up. He's starting to get past this. Give him some time. Besides, Ash might tell him herself."

"I hope she does," Ellie said grabbing her backpack and following him. "Cause this situation already sucks enough."

* * *

Peter trained the eye of his camera on Manny as she looked through books in the library. "Hey," he said sidling up to her. 

"Hey," Manny said trying to drum up equal interest. _You're doing this for Emma_, she thought to herself. "So Peter how about we finish that tour of the school?"

Peter peeked from behind his camera with a look of surprise. "For real?"

"For real. I'm sorry I was so mean yesterday. I was just surprised that you were Ms. H's son. Plus, you know, first day of school and all."

"I'm glad to hear that I'm not completely repulsive," Peter said with a hint of a smile. Manny smiled back thinking that maybe Peter wasn't as bad as she thought.

"Come on. Let's start with the library," she said taking his hand.

* * *

"Hey is this seat taken?" Ellie said with false cheer. Craig looked up at her with an expression that was completely indifferent. He gestured noncommittally to the bench beside him. "So how are things going?" 

"My girlfriend – ex-girlfriend is staying in Europe. My band is pretty much through. My life in general sucks and I can't even have the joy of throwing a manic depressive fit without everyone thinking that I'm off my meds."

"Did Ash tell you why she's staying?"

"She wrote me a letter and some songs. But we both know what it comes down to El. I scare her." Craig looked deep into her eyes. "I wish it could be the way it is with you. You've seen me all summer. You know I'm better. I just wish Ashley could see that." Craig picked up his backpack and stood up. "Look I gotta go. I'll see you later."

"What was all that about?" Marco said coming up behind Ellie.

"We better throw him one hell of a party," Ellie replied.

* * *

Emma perused the small boutique slowly. It was filled with odds and ends and she was enjoying walking around checking out the thrift storesin downtown Toronto. She was trying on an old pair of orange tinted glasses when she noticed a figure behind her in the mirror. 

"They have laws against stalking, you know," she said without turning around.

"I was on my way to the Dot when I saw you," Sean replied. "But I'm glad I ran into you."

"You're going to the Dot? Another shift with Ellie?"

"Is that what this is about? Ellie?" Sean said moving close to her. " Emma, I'm not interested in Ellie like that. Not anymore."

"Look I don't care what you do," Emma said pushing past him.

"Emma please." Sean grabbed her arm. "Listen to me. I came back from Wasega Beach because I knew."

"Knew what?"

"I knew that there was more between us. And I didn't want to mess this up. Emma, aren't you tired of all this? We've been going back and forth for years now. I just want to be with you. That's all I've ever wanted."

Emma looked up at him. Sean's face was full of sorrow. His eyes were pleading and Emma could feel that ice wall she'd built up all summer starting to crack.

"Sean, I –" Emma was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She looked down and saw Manny's name flash up on the screen. "I have to go," Emma said, walking away.

"I'm going to do it." Manny said, after had Emma picked up the phone.

"Do what?" Emma replied. She could hear the determination in her friend's voice even through the crackle of her cell phone.

"I'm getting plastic surgery," Manny said, trying to keep her fear from showing through. "And you're coming with me."

* * *

"Hey," Jimmy said, as Sean entered the Dot. 

"Hey, Jimmy. Is Craig here yet?"

"No you're just in time," Ellie said walkingpast Seanto the counter.

"Ellie watch your back," Jimmy said as she walked towards Spinner who was working the counter. Ellie waved him off and continued towards Spinner.

"Thanks for reserving the space for us, Spin."

"No problem," Spinner said. "Just tell Craig to come over so I can wish him happy birthday."

"I will," Ellie said with a smile.

"Can I talk to you?" Sean said disrupting their conversation. He looked at Spinner with cold indifference. Even though he wasn't as angry as Jimmy, Sean couldn't let what Spinner did go unpunished. He couldn't stop thinking that Spinner's actions had caused him to kill someone. Even if he was protecting Emma and Toby, Sean still wished he'd never taken Rick's life.

"Sure," Ellie said. "But make it quick. Craig'll be here any second." Sean steered her over to a less populated corner of the café. "What do you want to talk about?" Ellie said after they'd sat down.

"Emma," Sean replied without hesitation.

"Let me get this straight … _you,_ my ex boyfriend, want to talk to _me,_ your ex-girlfriend, about Emma, the girl you dated before me. Exactly what do you want to talk about?"

"She thinks we're dating," Sean stated.

"We're not"

"I know that."

"So you want me to get you together with Emma?"

"Yes!" Sean said in exasperation.

Ellie looked back at him in disbelief. "Sean we're friends, but we're not that kind of friends yet." And with that she walked back to the party.

* * *

Joey was in his office checking the sales slips from the past month when he heard a knock at the door. He looked up and saw Tessa standing in the doorway. "Hey Joey," she said ducking her head slightly so that her hair fell like a golden curtain across her face. "Wanna walk me home?" 

Joey smiled at her. "I don't know. Do I have to carry your books?"

"How about I carry my books and you pay for the sodas?" Tessa replied.

"Sounds good to me," Joey said grabbing his jacket.

* * *

Manny had been circling the block for over a half hour trying to decide whether or not to go inside the party. Her father's comments still rang in her head. _Slut, slut, slut. _The word reverberated through her brain bouncing off the insides of her mind. 

Even without him knowing the truth, her father had struck the deepest chord within Manny. She looked down and ran her hand over her flat stomach. Her child would be almost one year old by now. Without realizing it, she'd ticked off the months, the days even, in her head. Nine months after the abortion, a winter baby. It was fall, almost one year later. She would be planning a birthday party. Something simple, just her family and the Nelsons and Joey and Angie … and Craig.

_Slut, slut, slut. _The word taunted her as she found her way back to the building where the party was being held. She took a deep breath and walked in.

* * *

"I'm glad you don't mind skipping the drinks. I forgot Craig would be out tonight and I needed to pick up Angie." Joey staggered slightly underneath the weight of the small girl as Tessa fit the key into the lock of the his front door. 

"I don't mind," Tessa said opening the door. "Besides Angie's an angel."

"You should see her when she's awake," Joey said stepping inside. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." He carried Angie up the stairs as Tessa walked into her living room taking off her jacket as she went.

Joey returned a moment later and headed straight to the kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink?" he offered.

"Anything's fine," Tessa said sitting at the counter in front of him. "It was nice seeing Spike and Snake again. I never would have thought they'd end up together. They never dated in high school."

"Well they're perfect for each other. It only took Snake twenty, practically sex-less, years to get it right."

Tessa laughed out loud. "Well not all of us fell in love in high school Joey." Tessa got quiet. "How is Caitlin?"

Joey paused for a second. "She's in L.A. Seems like Canada was just too small for Caitlin Ryan."

"I can't say I blame her," Tessa replied. "Toronto always seemed a little cramped to me. You're always running into memories you wish you could get away from."

"Like me?" Joey asked.

"Hey I was the one who stopped by to see you." Tessa reached across the counter and held Joey's hand. "Whatever happened between us was a long time ago. I was a real dumb little girl who thought that being 'sexy' meant getting the guy. I'm an adult now. We've both changed."

"I know it's just –." Joey was interrupted by the slam of the front door.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Craig yelled as he ran up the stairs.

"Okay in teen-speak that means he needs someone to talk to, but doesn't want to ask for help" Joey sighed.

"I should be going anyway." Tessa stood up and grabbed her jacket. "It was nice being with you Joey."

"You too." Joey stood at the door and watched as Tessa headed towards her car. He closed the door slowly and took a deep breath. "Craig! This better be good!" he yelled as he took the steps two at a time.

He found Craig in his room, ripping the pages out of a notebook. "Craig? Are you ok? Did you –"

"Take my meds?" Craig responded before Joey could finish. "I know Craig gets upset and he must be off his meds. He must be going crazy!"

"I was going to ask did you enjoy your party," Joey said quietly.

"Oh," replied Craig. "Well it was nice until I found out that my girlfriend – I mean ex-girlfriend decided to stay in England to be with another guy. And lucky me, my friends decided to keep it from me so that I wouldn't go crazy again."

"Craig what are you really mad about?" Joey asked.

"Didn't you just hear me?"

"Are you really mad about Ashley staying in England or are you mad that everyone knew _why _she was staying except you? I mean, this summer you seemed like you were getting over her. Moving on. Now you're angry and upset and I thought you were past this."

"I'm not past everyone being afraid of me. Especially Ellie. I thought she was my friend. I thought she understood how much better I've been. Then she goes and lies to me about Ashley."

"I don't think it had anything to do with her being afraid of you. I think she just wants to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Joey. I can't get past this if you guys don't let me."

"I know that. But that doesn't mean that everyone who loves you doesn't want to protect you from everything that could hurt you. Even if you don't want us too. Cut your friends some slack okay?"

"I'll try," Craig sighed.

"And don't forget to take your meds. You're acting crazy," Joey said as he walked out of the room. He ducked just in time to miss the pillow flying at his head.

* * *

_One week later_

_Freak!_ Her own shrill voice shattered the calm of her mind. Mannyknew as soonas the word came out of her mouth that she'd sealed her fate but she couldn't help herself when Peter had cornered her. _Attention-whore. _She couldhear his voice inher head.It was followed by the haunting laughter of her classmates. She never thought Peter would be that cruel to expose her to the school, the way she'd exposed herself to him. Just like she never thought her parents would actually abandon her.

_Manuella don't go. We can make him listen. He'll change his mind. _Manny could see her mother pleading with her as she packed her things. Her mother didn't want her to leave but she would never go against her father. And Manny wasn't about to be her mother.

She was surprised Emma had let her live with her. Even after finding out what a jerk Peter was, she was still upset with Manny for being with him like that. Plus it didn't help that Emma seemed to be on this "not forgiving friends" mission. Sean had called the house no less than three times a night since Manny had moved in.

Mr. Simpson had laid down some pretty definitive house rules but at least he wasn't like her father. Both Spike and Snake supported her decision to be an actress … they'd just decided that she couldn't start her career until after high school. It was a struggle going to school everyday and it wasn't getting any easier.

"Manny!" Angie yelled as she ran down the street. She sat down next to Manny on the front stoop.

"Hey you," Manny replied with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"You're still sleeping at Emma's?" Angie asked.

"Yeah I am."

"Cool. Can I sleepover at Emma's like you?"

"I don't know Ang," Joey said walking up to the two of them with Craig right behind him. "You have to ask Spike."

"I'm going to ask right now!" Angie said running into the house. Joey followed behind her, stooping to squeeze Manny's shoulder supportively before entering the house.

"So …" Craig said with a sigh. "How are you doing?"

"Given that all off Degrassi and half of Toronto has probably seen me half-naked? I'm doing great."

"Yeah I can tell."

"So have you seen it?" Manny asked even though she was dreading the answer she already knew. But in a way Craig was her biggest obstacle. If she could except that he'd seen it and he didn't hate her, maybe it would be okay.

"Um …" Craig stalled. "Well I mean, I saw … it was on in the computer lab so I … yeah, yeah I saw it. But it was quick, I turned it right off."

"My embarrassment is complete."

"It's not that big of a deal. I mean, I don't think any less of you."

"It is a big deal," Manny said. "I think I can get past the thought of anyone else seeing it but you're … you. It's weird."

"Things will get back to normal."

"My life is so far from normal," Manny replied. She tried a soft smile but Craig noticed the sadness behind it. "Things haven't been normal in years."

* * *

"So how are things with your new boarder?" Joey asked Snake as he moved around the kitchen preparing dinner. 

"Oh lots of fun. If you thought having one teenage girl around the house was a hoot, try having two," Snake replied.

"Craig told me what happened at school. 'Degrassi Girls Gone Wild', huh? Ah, the joys of high school," Joey said with a laugh.

"Like you've really left high school. Hanging out with Tessa Campanelli? How's that going?"

"We're just friends Snake. Besides, I've had enough problems rekindling old flames, no it's all about bachelorhood right now. Me and Craig two lone wolves."

"Are you so sure about that?" Snake said gesturing out the window to where Craig and Manny were talking.

"Manny?" Joey said off-handedly. "Craig went out with her that one time a couple of years ago but other than that … they're just friends. Manny watches Angie so they hang out from time to time."

Snake paused for a second unsure of what to say. "Joey, I think there's more to Craig and Manny's relationship than you know."

"What do you mean?" Joey replied.

"Just talk to Craig," Snake said. Joey walked over to the window and looked at Craig and Manny. They were sitting quietly talking and every once in a while they would touch each other in a way that was familiar and comforting. Joey wondered what else he didn't know.

* * *

**A/N: Stay tuned for the next chapter (taps forehead) 'It's all up there'. I want to include some Peter POVs and I have a big surprise planned. I'm thinking of introducing Jiberty but only in how it relates to the Cranny relationship (i.e. the pregnancy). Let me know what you think. **


	14. Always a Bridesmaid

**Chapter 14: Always a Bridesmaid …**

* * *

**A/N: This chapter has Cranny as the subplot but still the major focus of the story and it also combines "Weddings, Parties, Anything" and "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" so that they fall on the same timeline. In other words, there are spoilers for ISHFWHLF (which wins the prize for the longest acronym for a Degrassi episode title).

* * *

**

"You need anything else before I leave?" Jimmy's father asked him as he dropped him off at Craig's garage.

"I'll be fine, Dad", Jimmy replied. He watched as his father pulled away and sat for a moment before heading into the garage. Jimmy had proven himself to the coach and his new basketball students but he still had proven himself to his harshest judge … himself. Ever since the accident, he didn't seem to have direction anymore. The only things he truly enjoyed were the band and drawing, a hobby he'd taken up in conjunction with his physical therapy. Those were the only things that didn't remind him of how much he'd lost. And with Ellie in the band he had a friend he could really rely on. _Not like Spinner_, he thought immediately. Jimmy wished every day that he could let go of this anger he harbored but it seemed to intensify daily. He was losing his control over it. And he didn't like the person he was becoming.

Jimmy pushed open the door to the garage and wheeled himself in. Everyone else was already there.

"Jimmy," Craig said. "Just in time. I have a new song for us." Jimmy grabbed the sheet music and looked it over while he tuned his guitar. Craig was on this new funk kick, which was better than last year's ska-pop sound but he was clearly pandering to an older crowd in an attempt to get steady gigs.

"It's decent," Jimmy said after he'd finished looking over the music.

"Decent?" Craig scoffed. "It's amazing and once we get it down we'll have dozens of gigs."

"Weddings? Bar mitzvahs?" Jimmy replied. "Yeah, we'll be the talk of the town."

"Just tune up and let's get started," Craig said.

"Yes, o' fearless leader," Jimmy intoned solemnly. "Whatever you say."

* * *

Peter rewound the tape over and over. 'I'm gonna be famous!' Manny shouted as she bared her breasts to the camera. He rewound the tape and paused it. Intently, he studied her face. She was smiling, laughing even. He pretended she was smiling at him, wanting him, inviting him into her life like she had that night.

He really hadn't meant to blackmail her into dating him. And he didn't want to send out the video to the whole school, it was just …. she'd made him so angry calling him a freak. As I he didn't know what it was like to be different, to be an outcast. But there was something about Manny. She was passionate, he could tell that right away. It jumped off the screen right at him. Her passion, her fire was intoxicating. And he'd wanted it. He just went about it the wrong way. Peter wasn't going to make that mistake again.

* * *

"These are good," Ellie said looking over Jimmy's shoulder. Practice was over and Jimmy was flipping through some of his drawings while he was waiting for his father. "When did you do these?" She took the book from him and studied the pictures closer. They were comic art style, black and white drawings similar to Frank Miller's artwork. Some were just faces and landscapes but others were more pointed. In particular there were some pictures depicting the shooting.

"I started while I was in the hospital. You know, as therapy."

Ellie continued looking over the drawings. "You never fail to surprise me Jimmy Brooks."

"I'm full of surprises," Jimmy said with a grin.

"I'll bet." Ellie smiled back at him. They both turned as the door opened. Hazel was standing at the door.

"Hi … guys," Hazel said slowly, as she took in the scene before her.

"Uh, I was just about to leave," Ellie said. "See you tomorrow, Jimmy."

"Tomorrow?" Hazel questioned when Ellie had left.

"Yeah, you know, school, band practice, lunch," Jimmy said gathering his things.

"You and Ellie seem to be hanging out a lot lately," Hazel said, softly.

"She's a cool girl and a good friend. We got to know each other better over the summer."

"I can see that. It's just that I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with you."

"I'm sorry but my dad has me doing wheelchair basketball and I'm helping out the coach, with all that and band practice I don't have much time anymore."

"I know but –," Hazel was interrupted by the honk of a horn outside. "That's your dad. He said I could come over for dinner tonight."

"Um … actually, I was just going to eat in my room," Jimmy replied. "I have a lot of homework to do. Can we drop you at your house?"

"No problem," said Hazel, but her eyes told a different story.

* * *

Manny took a deep breath and walked across the cafeteria, hoping her look of determination could hide her fear. "Paige can I talk to you?" she said. The other girls on the squad looked up her with dismissal. 'Alone. Please," Manny pleaded. Paige's eyes softened a bit and she sighed.

"Fine," Paige said standing. The two of them walked over to a quiet corner of the room. "What do you want?"

"I want back on the squad."

"I don't –."

"Please, Paige, let me finish," Manny interrupted. "I'm a good cheerleader. Last year, I covered for you half the season. I led this team. I know I've made some mistakes but I'm a good member of the squad and I know we've had our issues but … I promise I will do whatever you say. I just want to be on the team again."

"Manny as much as I want to say yes, the spirit squad has an image to maintain. I'm not going to have half the male population of Toronto showing up to our games in hopes that you'll bare your breasts again. I'm sorry but you're not the kind of person we want on the team." Paige turned and walked away without a single look back.

Manny forced her head high as she made her way out of the cafeteria though the tears in her eyes blurred her vision. She was so focused on not crying that she didn't notice Peter following her.

"Manny!" he called. "Hey Manny can we talk?"

"Leave me alone Peter."

"Look it wasn't that big of a deal." Peter grabbed Manny's arm but she shrugged him off. "We're not finished!" This time Peter grabbed her arm roughly, pulling Manny towards him. Before she could respond, Manny saw Peter's body fly into the lockers next to them. In the blink of an eye Craig was on him, pressing his forearm into Peter's neck.

"You don't talk to her, look at her, _touch her_ ever again," Craig said as he slowly put force on Peter's throat. "You understand?"

"Can't speak," Peter managed to get out. Craig eased up slightly.

"Understand?"

"Yes," Peter coughed out.

"Good," Craig said backing off of him. "Now go away."

"Gladly," Peter said, though he couldn't stop himself for looking once more at Manny who was standing there astounded.

"Thanks," Manny said when Peter was out of earshot. "But you didn't have to do that."

"He looked like he was hurting you."

"Believe me, he can't hurt me any more than he already has." Craig smoothed Manny's hair back behind her ear.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he said, his hand lingering near her face.

"I'm okay," Manny reassured him. "Are you still bringing Angie over this afternoon?"

"She wouldn't miss it for the world," Craig said with a smile.

"Neither would I."

* * *

"Hey Jimmy!" Jimmy looked up to see his dad running across the gym floor towards him. Jimmy blew his whistle and sent the players to practice foul shots so he could talk to his father.

"What are you doing here?" Jimmy asked quizzically as his dad came up to him.

"You got it," his dad said with excitement.

"Got what?" Jimmy replied, even more confused by his dad's attitude.

"You got a tryout with the wheelchair basketball team I told you about. It's a national team Jimmy!" His father was practically jumping up and down. "Do you know what this means? Tournaments, traveling. This is the perfect opportunity for you. I got you a tryout tomorrow afternoon at 5."

"I have band practice all this week. I told you we might have a wedding gig this weekend."

"This is the opportunity of a lifetime Jimmy," said Mr. Brooks. "And if you get picked for the team you're going to have practice and games. There's not going to be any time for the band anyway."

"I know it's just –."

"No buts. You can get out of practice at least for tomorrow."

"Sure dad," Jimmy said with a sigh. "It's no big deal."

* * *

"Sorry I'm late," Craig said rushing in and strapping on his guitar.

"Oh don't worry," Marco replied "We're only getting ready for the audition _you_ set up, which starts in a half hour by the way."

"I'm sorry. I was hanging out with Man –," Craig caught himself and tried to cover. "Um, Angie and I forgot the time."

"Hmm, Man-Angie?" Jimmy repeated. "I don't know a Man-Angie. I know an Angie, I believe she's your sister, and I know a Manny, a really hot girl from school but no, no Man-Angie."

"Very funny," Craig said throwing a guitar pick at him. "Manny and I took Angie for a walk in the park. Satisfied?"

"Not yet," Jimmy said slyly. "Did you get any?"

"Not Craig," Marco chimed in. "Didn't you hear? He's a monk."

"If you three are done gossiping about girls can we get started?" Ellie said, not bothering to hide her annoyance. All three guys looked at her with surprise. "I'm not here to listen to you all talk about your conquests."

"Ooh, someone's not getting any. Hey!" Jimmy cried as he narrowly missed a drumstick hitting his head. Craig and Marco stared at her with bulging eyes while Ellie calmly pulled an extra drumstick out of her back pocket.

"I've got plenty more," she said sweetly. All of the boys turned to their instruments quickly as Ellie started playing.

* * *

Peter kept some distance between himself and Manny as he followed her home from the park. He'd been watching her all afternoon as she walked around with that guy Craig and his little sister. Peter shot daggers into Craig's back with his eyes. He rubbed his sore neck absently as he followed the three of them. They all seemed to be having a good time, playing games and Manny was actually smiling as she showed the little girl cartwheels and splits.

A few minutes ago, Craig had run off with the little girl leaving Manny to walk home by herself. Peter followed close behind though he made sure that Manny couldn't see him. His fingers itched from wanting his camera. There was something about Manny that made him want to film her. To possess her. And he always got what he wanted.

* * *

The last notes of Craig's guitar echoed in the air as practice ended. "That was good. We're going to be great on Saturday," Craig said. "Okay practice tomorrow to go over that last song?"

"I can't, I have an … appointment," Jimmy said, with some apprehension.

"Fine," Craig said off-handedly as he unhooked his guitar.

"But you're coming out with us tonight to celebrate right?" Marco said, as he walked towards the door.

"Sure for a little while," Jimmy replied. Craig followed behind Marco while Ellie loitered in the garage.

"I have a surprise for you," Ellie said, once everyone was gone. Jimmy couldn't believe it but she was actually bouncy. It was the most excited he'd ever seen Ellie and to be honest he didn't think that her mood ever swung so far from morose.

"A surprise? What exactly does this entail?"

"Don't worry about the details. Just be ready to go tomorrow afternoon when school's over. We both have last period off right?"

"You know me so well."

"You better believe it."

* * *

"I won't be late, Mr. Simpson!" Manny called out as the door slammed behind her. She headed down the block oblivious to the person following behind her.

"We really have to find a new place to hang out," Jimmy said as he and Marco waited for their orders to be wrapped up at the counter. Spinner handed over the orders and Marco and Jimmy headed out of the Dot with a wave to Craig and Ellie.

"So…" Ellie said.

"So…." Craig replied.

"So …... you were hanging out with Manny this afternoon?" Ellie asked.

"Yeah and Angie. She's been baby-sitting her."

"And your newfound interest in hanging out with your sister doesn't have anything to do with her?"

"What are you getting at Ellie?" Craig asked, seriously.

"I'm not getting at anything … it's just … don't you think it's too soon?"

"Too soon for what?"

"Too soon after breaking up with Ashley to be going after Degrassi's version of Anna Nicole Smith."

"Manny isn't like that. And besides I'm not going after her. We're just hanging out."

"Hanging out or playing movie director and willing starlet?"

"I'm not that creep Peter," Craig said forcefully. "Manny deserves better than that."

"Don't you think with everything you have to deal with, getting involved with someone like her isn't helping?"

"I thought we agreed that you were going to stop trying to protect me?"

"I'm just being a friend. I care about you," Ellie said grabbing his hand. "I want to see you do the right thing." Craig looked down at Ellie's hand in his. He looked up to respond but he saw Manny standing at the door.

"Manny!" he said with surprise and relief. "Come, join us," Craig said as she walked over.

"I didn't want to interrupt," Manny said. "I wasn't sure if you wanted some privacy." She looked pointedly at Craig and Ellie's hands which were still intertwined.

"No!" Craig said moving his hand away. "Of course you can join. We're all friends here. Right?"

"Right," said Ellie. "Friend City." She shifted her gaze to the window so Craig wouldn't see the annoyance on her face. For a moment, she thought she saw Peter looking at them from across the street but when she blinked he was gone.

* * *

"Hey you!" Hazel said to Jimmy as she came out of the gym. "Are you ready for your tryout this afternoon?" Jimmy looked around surreptitiously for other members of his band.

"Yeah, I am," he replied when he was sure no one was around to overhear. "Have you told anyone else about my tryout?"

"Just Paige. Why?"

"I don't want anyone else to know. I haven't told the band yet."

"But you have to. Once you're on the team you're going to have practices, traveling; you'll have to quit Downtown Sasquatch."

"I'm not even sure I'll make it on the team."

"Of course you will. This is what you're good at. Basketball is what Jimmy Brooks is known for and nothing can take that away from you." Hazel was so caught up in her speech that she didn't notice Jimmy looking down at his sketchbook. "Things will be just like they used to be," Hazel finished.

"Yeah, just like they used to be," Jimmy intoned.

* * *

Ellie duck-waddled behind Jimmy's wheelchair as she covered his eyes with her hands. "Okay keep 'em closed. Okay we're getting closer … closer … close-."

"Ellie?" interrupted Jimmy. "It's kind of hard to push my chair with your hands over my eyes."

"Hey this was a last minute surprise. I couldn't find a blindfold," she said. "Besides, we're … here." Ellie removed her hands and Jimmy looked up to see a giant comic art exhibit. He had to think quick to make sure his mouth didn't drop open. He looked around in astonishment.

"This is your surprise?" he said.

"You like it?"

"I love it," Jimmy said looking back at her. He pointed at the picture in front of them. "You see how the artist uses the shadow to highlight the faces? And the little bits of shading under the eyes?"

Ellie looked at the picture contemplatively. "It's all in the details," Ellie said. "It's the details that make the difference. They make a person unique." She paused for a second to look at Jimmy. "You know, you're starting to sound like an artist Jimmy Brooks."

Jimmy smiled softly."Thanks for this." The two of them looked at each other intently for a few seconds before Ellie turned away.

"Well we have to hurry if we want to see everything before your appointment." And the two of them set out to look around.

* * *

"So no practice today?" Manny asked as she and Craig walked through the park with Angie again.

"Jimmy had an appointment. Besides, I wanted to work on some new stuff for the gig."

"Yeah you're working real hard," Manny said with a smirk.

"Hey, the wheels are always turning," Craig said pointing to his head. "I could be writing an entire song right now for all you know."

Manny pointed to where the kids were jumping all over the jungle gym. "Unless it's to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel, I doubt it." Craig grinned at her comment but he noticed that Manny's smile didn't seem the way it used to. Before when she would smile it would light up her whole face, sometimes her whole body. Now it fell flat.

"Why don't you come to the gig on Saturday? There'll be lots of funkin' out … I'll even let you bring your tambourine."

Manny looked at him demurely. "Hmm," she said. "Well since I can bring my tambourine, I guess it might be ok."

"Great!" Craig replied. "It'll be fun."

"Yeah," Manny replied slowly, "Fun."

* * *

Jimmy had tried to talk Ellie into going home but once they were late, she insisted on helping him make his appointment. The two of them arrived at the gym an hour later than expected. "Where were you?" Jimmy's father said as they came in.

"I'm sorry Mr. Brooks. It was all my fault. Don't blame Jimmy," Ellie pleaded.

"I needed to clear my head. Mentally prepare."

The coach walked over and looked down at Jimmy with disappointment. "Showing up late for tryouts makes me think you don't want the spot."

"What spot?" Ellie said quietly.

"No, sir, I want to play," Jimmy replied.

"Please Coach," Mr. Brooks said. "This was a fluke. Can we reschedule for tomorrow? I promise Jimmy will be here on time."

"Okay, I'll make an exception," said the coach. "Only cause, from what I hear, you're one hell of a player. But tomorrow's it."

"Thank you, sir. I won't let you down," Jimmy said. As the coach walked away, Jimmy looked up to see Ellie standing despondently to the side.

"What spot, Jimmy?" she asked. Jimmy grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door.

"My dad got me a try-out for their wheelchair basketball team. It's a great opportunity."

"What about the band? Your art?"

"This really means a lot to my dad, to everyone."

"What does it mean to you?" Ellie asked.

"Look," Jimy said ignoring her question. "Can you cover for me with the guys? I promise I'll be there right after the tryout."

"I'll try," Ellie said. "If that's what you want."

* * *

Craig strummed lightly on his guitar. He was working on a ballad for the wedding. Something a bride and groom could dance to. So far the melody had come easy but the words still weren't flowing.

"Hey, buddy," Joey said with a light knock on the door. "How's it going? Working on something new?"

"Yeah," Craig replied. "I'm not sure where it's going yet."

"You'll work it out," Joey said.

"You still coming to the wedding?" Craig grinned conspiratorially. "Are you bringing a date? Tessa perhaps?"

"Yes, I am coming. No I am not bringing a date."

"You already messed up? Tessa moved on?"

"Not exactly," Joey laughed. "What about you stud? How are things going with the ladies? That Ellie girl has been around here a lot."

"Ellie's just a friend. Who happens to be a girl. She's a friend-girl, if you will."

Joey took a breath and tried to sound casual. "What about Manny?"

Craig looked up from his guitar. "Manny? What about her?"

"Well Angie mentioned that you two took her to the park a couple of times."

"Yeah, uh, we did … no big deal. You know, I'm taking a break from girls."

"You? Well, I'll believe it when I see it." Joey stood up to leave the room but stopped himself before he reached the door. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right, Craig?"

"I know Joey," replied Craig distractedly, he was already making notes on his pad. He'd just found his inspiration.

* * *

"Okay guys," Craig said entering into the garage excitedly. "I've got some new material that we have to learn before tomorrow."

"Oh joy," said Marco sarcastically. Craig ignored him and started handing out music sheets.

"Where's Jimmy?" he said when he'd finished handing out the sheets.

"Uh … he's," Ellie began.

"Right here," Jimmy said coming in the garage. Ellie looked at him in amazement.

"I thought your dad had to reschedule your appointment," Marco asked.

"I cancelled it," Jimmy answered Marco, though his eyes never left Ellie's. "It wasn't important."

"Good!" Craig said. "Now let's go. You're late."

"Yes, sir!" Jimmy said with a salute. He strapped on his guitar as Ellie tapped her drumsticks together to start the rehearsal.

* * *

The next afternoon was bright and sunny as Craig and Marco loaded the van with equipment. _Whoohooo!_ The sound of Jimmy's whistle drew Craig's attention as Ellie walked up the block in a form-fitting black dress. He dropped the amp he was holding causing it to drop on Marco's foot.

"Smooth move, Manning," grumbled Marco but his pain became an afterthought as he caught sight of Manny rounding the corner. She was wearing a flowing silver and black skirt with a green bustier top. Ellie looked at Manny coldly. Before she could ask, Craig began to explain.

"I invited Manny along," he said quickly. "To help … with the stuff." Ellie looked at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, that makes sense," she said. Before she could say anything else, Hazel came around the corner wearing a tight peach colored dress. "I guess she's here to carry the amps," Ellie added sarcastically.

"Ms. Nash, Ms. Santos," Jimmy said kissing each of their hands. "Hazel." He greeted her with a chaste kiss on the lips. "Well I'm ready to go! How about you guys?" Jimmy said with smile. Marco looked back and forth between Craig and Manny and Jimmy and Hazel and finally he landed on Ellie, who stood there silently fuming.

"Oh I think this is going to be a great day," he said.

* * *

Ellie was setting up her drums while Jimmy worked on the sound system and Craig and Marco moved the amps into the reception hall. Manny and Hazel sat apart from each other on the edge of the stage. Hazel was checking her make up while Manny picked at her nails.

"If you're going to be here the least you can do is help," Ellie complained.

"I'm here to support Jimmy," Hazel said callously. "Not you." Ellie was a bit taken aback and Manny decided to ease the tension.

"I don't think you want me touching your drums Ellie. I can be a bit of a klutz."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Ellie replied sarcastically.

"Me either," agreed Hazel.

* * *

"Being a monk sucks," said Craig as he and Marco moved the amps.

"Gotta agree with you there," Marco replied. "If I was interested, there'd definitely be no shortage of girls to choose from." He gestured towards the stage where Ellie was still working on her drums. "You've definitely got more than enough options."

"Ellie?" said Craig quizzically. "You don't think?"

"Hey, she didn't dress up for me," Marco replied.

* * *

The gig was going good so far … for almost everyone. Since they'd started playing, Ellie had been subjected to watching Manny dance on the stage in front of her while she played her tambourine, as well as an extra long guitar solo that Jimmy had dedicated to Hazel (after Hazel had "casually" mentioned how romantic it was to have your boyfriend dedicate a song to you). Overall, except for Marco's reassuring looks, this entire experience had been less than stellar.

They had just finished taking a break and Craig was going over the new song that they'd learned yesterday. Luckily, it was a ballad so Manny wouldn't be go-go dancing on the stage for this one.

"Okay guys, follow me for the changes and try to keep the tempo even." Craig turned to the microphone and got the audience's attention. "Okay, this next song … is for everyone who's in love," he said. Without pretense, his eyes landed on Manny who was standing near the back of the dance floor. And he began to sing …

_There was a time you said it with your eyes_

_You didn't need the words_

_But now the light that was inside_

_That spark that struck a nerve _

_It's not a bright _

_So I will fight_

_Until you feel my words_

_Until my love can make you smile again …_

Ellie followed Craig's gaze to where it was settled on Manny. With a sigh she looked out into the audience and saw Hazel gazing adoringly at Jimmy, who played the guitar intently. He glanced up and gestured to Hazel slightly when she caught his eye. Despite her frustration, Ellie managed to finish out the song but the minute it ended she put down her drumsticks and stomped off the stage, pushing past the audience on her way out.

Craig watched her leave at a complete loss, but Jimmy was right behind her. "Ellie! Ellie, wait up!"

"Why!" Ellie said whirling around. "So I can watch you and Craig make lovey-dovey faces for the rest of the night? You're all the same. You and Craig and Sean falling all over yourself for these insipid --, vapid--, they don't even understand anything about you. She doesn't know about music or art or ANYTHING. It's like you pick the complete opposite person from yourself just because she happens to fill out a low cut shirt!"

"What is your problem?" Jimmy said, cutting her off. "I don't understand, Ellie. The dress, the makeup, this isn't you. Is it Craig? Is that why you're upset Manny is here?"

"This isn't about Manny! I could care less about that walking disaster –."

"Then what is it!"

"It's this!" Ellie said and without thinking she leaned over and kissed Jimmy. It was fervent and full of anger and heat. Though he was surprised, Jimmy found himself falling easily into it. Kissing Ellie was different from any other girl he'd ever been with. With Ashley it had always been sweet and innocent, fresh, even. And with Hazel it had been comfort from day one; simple and nice. But this was different, it was unexpected and enticing and full of Ellie's angst. When she pulled away, they were both breathless. "I … have to go," Ellie said, before she turned and walked away, leaving Jimmy to wonder what just happened.

* * *

The next day Manny was sitting outside of the Simpson-Nelson house reading the newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee when Craig came walking up the block.

"And now my embarrassment is complete," Manny said, gesturing towards her oversized jammies, which had once belonged to Emma.

"Don't worry about it," Craig said sitting beside her. "I should have probably called before I came over."

"You don't have to call," said Manny. "How was Ellie? She seemed pretty upset before she left."

"I'm not really sure. Jimmy didn't say what happened when he talked to her."

"Well, aside from that, the night was pretty good. Thanks for inviting me."

"I have to admit I had an ulterior motive."

"Oh?" asked Manny.

"Ever since … your home video was released, you haven't been the same. I just … I wanted to make you smile again."

"Thanks," Manny said. And this time when she smiled it was genuine and bright. "What are friends for right?" Craig turned to respond but as when he looked at her, emotion overtook him and before he knew it he was kissing her. There was a sweet and familiar aching. Her lips were soft and Craig didn't want to pull away. He could feel her surprise give way to desire and as the kiss deepened neither of them wanted to let go. It was as if they both knew that when this kiss ended things would be different forever.

As they came apart, Manny leaned back with a smile on her face while Craig looked at her in wonder. Then slowly, the smile faded from Manny's face and she brought her fingers up to her lips in question.

"Craig, I –"

"Look, before you say anything I just want to say that I've been thinking about this for a long time. I wanted … I was going to tell you how I felt before you left for New York and then school started and with Ashley, and the video and everything else, I didn't know how to tell you. I want this Manny. I want us to try being together again."

The silence that hung in the air seemed to stretch on for ages. Finally, Manny spoke. "Remember last year when you told me that what happened between us had been a mistake?"

"I said I was sorry."

"I know, I know. It's just that you weren't completely wrong. We've made a lot of mistakes … I've made a lot of mistakes. And I don't want to make another one."

"You think we're a mistake?" Craig asked.

"No, I think that the two of us jumping into something is a mistake. And if we do this, I want to do it right. So can we take this slow?"

Craig looked her up and down suggestively. "Well how slow are we talking?" he asked.

"A lot slower than you're thinking right now," Manny replied.

"Ok. I can do this," Craig said, seriously. "I want to do this."

"Then I want to do this too." Manny looked up at him smiling.

"Does this whole slow thing mean no kissing?" Craig asked. Manny sighed in exasperation.

"Come here," she said pulling him into a kiss.

* * *

Hazel walked up to Jimmy's house apprehensively. She was standing on the porch when Jimmy came out with his sketchbook in his hands.

"Hazel? What are you doing here?" he asked when he saw her.

"I wanted to talk to you. I mean yesterday after Ellie left and you went after her, we barely spoke. And your dad told me about how you cancelled the tryout. What's going on? I feel like you can't even talk to me."

"Hazel, it complicated," Jimmy began.

"What's so complicated?"

"Everything!" Jimmy replied. "Ever since the shooting, everything I've had to go through to get back."

"And you are. You're back."

"I'm not, Hazel. Things have changed."

"I know that some things have changed, but you're still Jimmy. Some of the details may be different but you're still the same Jimmy Brooks. And I love you" Jimmy searched for the words to explain his feelings but he was at a loss. "Does this have anything have to do with Ellie Nash?" Hazel asked.

Jimmy looked up with surprise. "What? What makes you say that?"

"You've just … I know you missed the tryout because you were with her. And yesterday … Is there something going on with you two?"

"No! No," Jimmy said though not too convincingly. "Look I know I've been … different but I'll try harder. I just need some space. I need you to understand."

"I can try," Hazel said. "I just want things to be the way they were." Jimmy nodded but both of them knew that wasn't possible.

**P.S. - I just have to apologize for my atrocious songwriting skills. I'm better at poetry, I swear. **


	15. Worth It

**Chapter 15: Worth It**

"Hey, baby," Joey said as he planted a kiss on his daughter's head. Angie skipped into the kitchen and grabbed a juice box from the refrigerator. "Where's your brother?"

"Outside with Manny," Angie said, poking the plastic straw through the aluminum top of the juice box. She took a decisive sip. "They said they wanted to be alone, which means they want to kiss." Joey didn't need Angie to tell him that as he was already peeking through the curtains on the door. He watched Craig pull Manny into a kiss. The two of them pulled apart with a smile and let go hands reluctantly as Manny walked away. Joey moved away from the door quickly as Craig came up the front steps.

"Hey Joey!" Craig said heading up the stairs. "Lots of homework! Talk to you later!" He ran up the stairs without giving Joey a chance to respond. Joey knew he should go after Craig and discuss this new relationship but he was afraid of what he'd find out.

* * *

"Looks like an interesting cause." Emma whipped around to find Peter peeking over her shoulder. She was signing up to help with the breast cancer initiative Degrassi was organizing.

"I didn't know community service was a part of your punishment," Emma said. She tried walking away but Peter was right behind her.

"It's not," Peter said. "I'm just a humanitarian."

"That's funny coming from someone who's barely human."

"She's beautiful and witty," Peter replied. "Apparently I went for the wrong best friend."

"Depends on your definition. If the 'right' one is the girl who won't bare her breasts for you."

"Touché. I wouldn't speak to soon though. We still have time."

"Do you really think I would be caught dead alone with you? After what you did to Manny?"

"It's okay, Emma. You don't have to say yes right away," Peter started to walk away. "I like a challenge," he tossed back over his shoulder. He left Emma standing in the hallway, seething and slightly intrigued.

* * *

"Hey you," Manny said, sitting down beside Spinner. She looked at the magazine he was holding. One of the headlines jumped out at her _'Giving Your Fear to Christ'_. "Interesting reading Spin."

"Darcy gave it to me," he replied sheepishly. "She's into all this stuff."

"And you're into her," Manny said. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"You and Craig seem pretty 'into' each other right now," responded Spinner.

"It's still new. Kind of. You know … it's familiar and different."

"I get it."

"You always did," Manny said with a smile.

"Hey even if you are with Craig, you'll always be my amuse," Spinner said smiling back.

Manny laughed and bumped his shoulder. "I'm glad," she said. The two of them were looking at each other intently when Darcy walked up.

"Hey, Spinner … Manny," she said drawing their attention away from each other.

"Hey, Darcy," Manny said awkwardly. She stood until she and Darcy were eye to eye. Unsure of what to say Manny asked, "How's Spirit Squad?"

"It's good," Darcy said taking Spinner's hand and sitting down. "We miss you."

"Well, it's nice to know someone does. I'll see you guys later. Bye Spinner."

"Bye Manny," Spinner replied with a wave. He looked up to find Darcy staring at him with a look he couldn't quite describe but annoyance was definitely in there somewhere.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"What was what about?" Spinner asked. "We were just talking."

"You two looked pretty close."

"We are," Spinner said matter-of-factly. "Manny's a good friend. One of the few that I have."

"You didn't used to date all of your good friends."

"Aw, are you jealous?" said Spinner, pulling Darcy into his lap. "You're cuter when you're jealous." He pulled her into a soft kiss.

"Are you trying to shut me up?" Darcy said, pulling away slightly.

"No not at all," Spinner replied as he pulled her closer.

* * *

"Hey you two," Emma said interrupting one of Craig and Manny's hour long love stares. "You've taken over my bedroom. The least you could do is let me get to my locker."

"Sorry, Em," Manny said sheepishly.

"But, hey, good news," said Craig. "I have band practice this afternoon so your room is all yours."

"It's not a big deal. I guess I should just be happy you two aren't sneaking around anymore," Emma said a bit sarcastically.

"Oookay," Craig said. "Well, I'll see you guys later." Craig planted a small kiss on Manny's cheek before walking down the hall.

"Emma are you alright?" Manny asked.

"Why do you ask?" replied Emma as she pushed her books into her locker.

"Because lately you've moved from self-righteous to snarky," Manny said. "It's kind of a step down."

"Thanks a lot." Emma slammed her locker door shut.

"I didn't say it to be mean," Manny said as she followed after her. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Even as the words came out of her mouth, Emma knew it was a lie. There was something inside of her, like a cold shard of ice and it had been burrowing itself deeper into her body every day. She didn't know what it was, anger … resentment, it just seemed like every time she saw Manny she wanted to scream. "I'm fine," she said again, this time a little more convincingly. "I mean it. Really. I guess … it has been getting to me not having my own room anymore and the privacy. I'm sorry. I'm just ..." Emma hesitated as she caught Peter's eye from across the hall. He was watching the two of them with interest. He winked at her quickly before walking away. "I'm just stressed," she finished.

Manny wasn't sure if she believed everything Emma was saying but she decided to accept what she was saying. "It's ok. You're right. Craig and I will stop taking over your room. And I'll try to give you your space at home. Best friends?"

"Best friends," Emma said embracing her but inside she felt herself grow colder.

* * *

"Avoidance," Marco stated. "The act of evasion, dodging, escaping."

"What are you babbling about?" Ellie said without turning from her computer screen.

"Ha! Funny. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Look," Marco grabbed her shoulders turning Ellie towards him, "I know that you're all upset about Craig not falling in love with you after you got all dressed up for the wedding." Ellie rolled her eyes and Marco ignored her, continuing, "And I know it's probably hard with Craig and Manny becoming the couple of the year."

"Marco!" Ellie said with feeling, "I'm sorry to interrupt you but I'm not upset about Craig. No, I'm not happy he's with Manny but really at this point I'm just indifferent. I haven't been avoiding Craig or you."

"Then why have I barely seen you? And you come to practice late and leave early like you can't stand being there."

"Believe me." Ellie looked up as Jimmy came into class. "It's not about Craig."

* * *

"Emma! Em!" Sean slid into the stairwell just as the door shut. "Emma please! Talk to me," he said breathlessly.

"No Sean," Emma started down the stairs but Sean grabbed her arm.

"You're being unreasonable. I've barely spoken to Ellie since I've been back."

"Sean, you're hurting me," Emma said pulling her arm away. Sean eased his grip but he wouldn't let go.

"I just want us to talk," he said desperately.

"I think you should let go of her," Peter said from the top of the staircase.

"Go away, creep," Sean replied with barely a glance.

"Not until you let go of her," Peter said.

Sean took another look at Peter who was advancing on the both of them. "Like I'd leave her alone with you," he said. "So you can film another one of your movies."

"Sean, let go of me," Emma said. Sean looked back at her in awe.

"Emma, you can't be serious."

"You heard her," Peter said.

"Emma," Sean said with a hint of desperation in his voice. "Please"

"Go away, Sean," Emma said. She could feel that coldness in her chest spreading out like an ice floe. As Sean walked away, she wanted to reach out to him but something inside wouldn't let her. So she did the next best thing.

"Tell me," she said turning to Peter angrily.

"Tell you what?" he asked taking a step back but Emma kept advancing on him.

"Tell me that this isn't some ploy to get at Manny. Tell me that you're not just lying to me like you lie to everyone. Tell me that you care!" When she finished, Emma was practicallypanting.

"I'm not using you," Peter said looking her straight in the eye. He leaned forward and kissed her sweetly, but Emma couldn't stop the chill she felt in her heart.

* * *

"So the ice princess avoiding you again?" Jay sidled up to Sean as he was slamming his books into his locker.

"Go away Jay," Sean said without stopping.

"Come on, Sean. I thought we were past all that stuff from last year. Plus, Spinner's off with the Bible-thumpers and Lexi barely talks to me."

Sean paused. "You never told me what happened between you two."

"Nothing big," Jay said evasively, "You know how women can be. Lex can be as cold as Emma when she wants to."

"I don't want to talk about Emma"

"Then let's stop talkin' and start doin' Cameron." Jay started to walk away and Sean followed ignoring the feeling of dread that often accompanied adventures with Jay.

* * *

"So where are we going?" Manny asked. She and Craig stepped off the bus, in the center of Toronto and she looked around suspiciously.

"I wanted to take you some place. Some place … special."

"Does this place include a nice dinner or some jewelry?"

"Not exactly"

"Darn," Manny said snapping her fingers. "I knew I should've gone for a richer guy."

"We're almost there," Craig said, ignoring her comment. Craig led her into a small building with a low roof.

"Craig what –" Manny broke off as she caught sight of the sign on the door. TEEN TALK: GROUP THERAPY. She turned to him with surprise. "Are you sure?" Manny asked.

"I want you to … I don't want to hide anything from you."

"But this is your thing. Your private thing. I know how you feel about people knowing."

"People ...not you. I want you to come."

"Then I want to be there," Manny said with conviction. During the next two hours, Manny listened to the group share some of their darkest secrets and she listened quietly and respectfully. It was amazing to watch Craig open up and bare his soul, even if it was to a room full of strangers and Ellie. They were both quiet on the way home.

"So … what did you think?" Craig asked as they walked to Emma's house.

"I'm proud of you, but … I just wish you could be as open with me, with your family as you are with your group." Manny stopped and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm probably the last person that should be saying this given my level of insecurity, but there's so much more inside of you Craig. And it's all so amazing. I just wish you could let the people closest to you in."

"That's why I brought you."

"What about Joey? Angie?" Manny placed one her palm softly on Craig's cheek. "I know what your father did to you was horrible, but Joey's not your father, he's your dad. He loves you and Angie and he'd never hurt you."

"You understand that telling Joey _everything_ means telling him about all the things that happened. The baby."

Manny looked away but she knew that if she was going to ask Craig to be brave, it was time she did the same. "It's time he knew."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Peter asked for the gazillionth time since they'd been in Emma's room making out.

"My dad had a teacher's meeting with your mom, _my_ mom has a late appointment and Manny is off with Craig somewhere, now we have maybe a half-hour before someone comes home. So wha –" Emma cut off abruptly.

"Emma?" Peter asked.

"Shh. Did you hear that?" Emma went completely still.

"Em? Em! Are you downstairs? I have so much to tell you!" Manny called from upstairs.

"You have to go!" Emma started freaking out. She started to push Peter out of the side window.

"Emma? Where are you?" Manny called again.

"Go. Go!" Emma pushed Peter harder ignoring his protests. "Be quiet!" she whispered. Peter edged out of the window just as Manny was coming down the stairs. Emma stuffed the headphones of her iPod into her ears and pretended to be listening to music.

"Emma!" Manny said. Emma looked up feigning surprise. "Didn't you hear me calling you?"

Emma pulled one of the headphones out of her ears. "I guess I didn't," she said with a smile.

Peter listened as Manny told Emma all about her afternoon with Craig. It made his skin crawl to hear Manny talk about how much in love she was with Craig but he knew it had its merit. The more Manny talked, the quicker Emma would run back to him.

* * *

Ellie rounded the corner to her apartment to find Jimmy waiting outside the door.

"Thought you'd be showing up soon," he said as she got closer.

"Why are you –? What are you doing here?" Ellie said.

"I wanted to talk to you"

"Really? Cause you've been doing such a great job of ignoring me so far, I wouldn't want to mess that up."

"That was harsh."

Ellie sighed and leaned against the brick wall. "I'm sorry. I just – I just finished a really long group meeting and Craig was there with Manny and it was uncomfortable and I was sitting there thinking the entire time that the person I really needed to be talking to … is you. Jimmy I --"

"Ellie we have to stop this," Jimmy blurted out.

"What?" Ellie said, "I thought –"

"I've been thinking a lot about you … me … us. And I like you, I really like you Ellie but it's not just about us. There's Hazel and –" Jimmy looked down at his wheelchair.

"I don't care about the wheelchair."

"You say that now but …"

"I mean it. I like you Jimmy and –"

"And I want us to be friends. Right now, I don't think I could get along without you as a friend."

"I understand," Ellie began. "But I don't agree with you. I'll be your friend , until you realize I'm worth the risk." Ellie kissed Jimmy softly on his cheek. "See you tomorrow", she said as she walked away, leaving Jimmy stunned.

* * *

Darcy was waiting to pick Spinner up outside of the Dot. "Night Spin!" Manny called as she walked away from the café. "Oh! Hey Darcy!" Manny said sweetly as she passed by.

"Hey sweetie," Spinner said as he slipped into the car. He moved in to give Darcy a kiss but she pulled away. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"What was Manny doing here so late?" Darcy asked.

"She just needed some time away from the Nelsons. She's trying to give Emma some space soshe was hanging out with me since I had to close."

"Hanging out?" Darcy said skeptically.

"Yeaaaah … we're friends," Spinner said. "We talked about this before. You're okay with me being friends with Manny right?"

"I don't know. How many of your former friends have you had sex with?"

"What?" Spinner said with surprise."Look, me and Manny, it was brief … it was just two people who were together for a short time. And now we're friends."

"That's all?"

"That's all. I promise you, you're the one I want. I never knew how important it was to have someone like you. Someone who'll stand beside me. Until now."

"So no more Manny?"

"No more Manny. Believe me ...You're worth it."

* * *

Sean threw the empty beer can across the ravine. "Girls suck," he intoned.

"I agree," Jay said cracking another can open and passing it to Sean. "They're not worth the trouble we go through for them."

"Chasing them, trying to protect them … for what?" Sean said as he took a long sip.

"All they do is leave," Jay slurred. "Me and Lexi … we used to have something. So what if I messed with a couple of other girls? You know what happens in the ravine, stays in the ravine. At least Emma understood."

"Emma?" Sean said sobering slightly.

"Nah, I mean … you know. She came by a couple of times after the shooting. She was upset."

"How upset?" Sean said. He stood up and grabbed Jay by the collar. "How upset was she Jay?" Sean had fire in his eyes as he looked at his "best friend".

"Look she was upset," Jay said defensively. "I made her feel better. It's not like you were around." Jay barely had tme to react as Sean punched him in the face.

"You're dead to me," Sean said walking away. "Both of you."

* * *

Craig lay down in his room and he thought about everything that Manny had said to him. There was so much Joey already knew, about his illness, about him and Ashley and his dad. But there was also so much that he'd been hiding from Joey, a whole year of his life in fact. And Manny was right, holding that in was part of his breakdown, even if Joey didn't know it. He hadn't been a stranger to secrets. Maybe it was time for him to tell the truth.

"Joey?" Craig said coming down the stairs.

"Yeah, Craig, what do you need?"

"I need you to do me a favor"

_the next day_

"Mr. Jeremiah do you know why Craig has brought you here?" Craig's counselor asked the next day at his session.

"No," Joey said with some confusion.

"There's a lot of stuff I need to tell you," Craig said. He took a deep breath and began.


	16. Sweet Dream, Beautiful Nightmare

**Chapter 16: Sweet Dreams, Beautiful Nightmares**

**A/N: So I'm taking this chapter through "Together Forever" and "What it Feels Like to be a Ghost" (with some revisions) and then it's picking up with "Degrassi Goes Hollywood". I got a burst of inspiration. I think I'm going to conclude this soon though. I'm horrible at updating. **

_There are those times in your life when you think you're never going to see the light of day again. And then there's a break in the clouds. But then it seems like everyone else's life is crumbling around you. It's all just sand slipping through your fingers …_

Manny laced her fingers through Craig's and squeezed his hand. The two of them were sitting in the park, both of them avoiding their houses. The Simpson-Nelson household had become so tense it was suffocating. And even though she was keeping upbeat for her mom, Manny knew that Emma was having a hard time.

Craig, on the other hand, had been strategically avoiding Joey since he'd unburdened himself. The truth was, as much as Joey was happy that Craig had opened up to him, the reality of having been in the dark for so long was hitting him hard. Luckily, Craig had been busy preparing for Battle of the Bands with Downtown Sasquatch and spent most of his time with Ellie in the garage writing songs. Both he and Manny were taking a rare moment alone to spend some time together.

"I can't believe Spike and Snake are separated," Manny sighed. "The Nelsons were my functional family".

"Snake and Ms. H?" Craig said with disbelief.

"I used to think that Ms. H was better than her rodent of a son but I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Manny sighed again. "I have to get home. I promised Emma I'd watch baby Jack while she goes to the library."

"Yeah, I have to go meet Ellie."

Manny frowned slightly. "What's going on with Ellie?"

"What do you mean?" Craig asked. "Ellie's fine I guess."

"I don't know. It's just for a while she was doing the whole art thing with Jimmy and lately she's been with you all the time."

"Well we have the competition coming up. We're all just kind of focused on that."

"I was just asking. Well good luck," Manny said kissing him quickly. "Call me tonight."

"Of course," Craig replied.

...

It had been weeks since Ellie kissed Jimmy and even though he'd broken up with Hazel, Jimmy still didn't have the courage to ask Ellie out on a date. Plus, she'd been spending so much time with Craig lately, that he was beginning to wonder if her "not" crush on Craig had finally developed into something. He was sitting at the Dot sketching a picture of her when he felt someone looking over his shoulder.

"You gonna sign it 'Love, Jimmy' when you're done?" Sean said as he took a seat across from him.

Jimmy smirked. "Funny. You've been pretty sour lately."

"Well, that's what happens when you find out your ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend hooked up…. and caused a gonorrhea outbreak."

Jimmy winced. "Who told you about that?"

"Jay managed to let it slip. I'm so pissed at him right now. And Emma. She treats me like I'm poisonous cause I _talk _to Ellie but she …." He trailed off in disbelief.

"So can I ask you a question?" Sean shrugged his approval. "How come you aren't mad that I like Ellie?"

Sean frowned for a second. "You're not Jay. And Ellie's not Emma. I saw how messed up Emma's been since the shooting and Jay took advantage of that. Ellie … she's better off without me." Sean grinned. "And you're good for her"

"I don't know about that." Jimmy watched as Ellie and Craig walked into the Dot laughing.

...

_A few weeks later, _Craig and Ellie sat in the garage working on songs. Craig strummed the guitar softly. "Craig!," Joey called from the house. "Phone! Manny!"

"Tell her I'm studying!," Craig yelled back. Joey walked into the room a second later and took in the sight of Ellie and Craig intertwined on the couch.

"Doesn't look like you're studying," Joey said.

Craig huffed. "I'll call her back later."

"Your call," Joey said backing off.

"Why are you avoiding Manny?" Ellie said looking up at him.

"I'm not avoiding Manny … any more than you're avoiding Jimmy."

"Jimmy has other things on his mind. And stop changing the subject."

"It's this showcase. If things take off, it could mean me leaving town and things have been really good with Manny. Plus, she's dealing with Emma and all her family drama. I feel like I might be abandoning her. Joey's pushing me to go to U of T and –"

"And you can't worry about them. They'll manage. Craig, I can't drum"

"Yes, you –," Craig started.

"No, I can't. And Marco isn't that great at the bass and let's face it, Jimmy's going to be an artist or a lawyer but he's not going to be a musician."

"But if I leave, what will everyone do?"

"We'll wave good-bye … cause we have to."

...

Craig stood at the steps of the tour bus. He'd already said good-bye to Ellie and the rest of the band. Only Joey and Manny had come to see him off.

"You're going to do great things Craig," Joey said embracing him. "And don't forget you always have a home with me and Angie."

"I know Joey. Thanks. You've been … I don't know really know how to tell you how great you've been. I know I haven't … I know I'm not the best--"

"Craig," Joey said cutting him off. "You are the best son any dad could ask for. Never think any different." Joey gave him one more hug. "Now save the rest of the mushy stuff for your girlfriend." Craig grinned but it was tinged with sadness. He'd finally gotten comfortable with his family again and here he was leaving them. He looked at Manny wistfully.

"I wish you could come with me," he said, taking her hands.

"Who else is going to keep it together around here?," Manny said with a sad smile. "You we can afford to lose."

"So you're not going to miss me? Even a little bit?" Craig wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned down to give her a lingering kiss.

"Well I said things wouldn't fall apart but I will miss a few things."

"I know I'm leaving you with a lot going on. I know I've left you high and dry before. I wish I could be here."

"Craig, go be great. I'll still be here."

"I meant what I said that day at the ice rink. You're the one for me. It's you. It's always been you. I love you, Manny Santos."

"I love you, Craig Manning."

...

Graduation was coming swiftly and all the seniors were getting ready for their final days at Degrassi. Jimmy sat in front of the school and looked up at the building. At first he didn't even notice the girl walking towards him.

"You've got to be kidding me. The ghost of Ashley Kerwin. How you doing?," Jimmy hugged her pulling her close.

"I'm no ghost," Ashley said. "I'm the real thing. You look great."

"So you're here! Uh did you finally get tired of London or…?"

"I could never get tired of London. You know, but I got tired of missing home. I've had some schools there, but couldn't find anything quite like this."

"Yeah. I guess it's kind of hard to find a school with such a unique combo of shootings and gonorrhea outbreaks."

" Okay, yeah some bad stuff's happened here, but there are some good people here too. Like Jimmy Brooks."

" Oh well thank you very much," Jimmy said with false modesty. "But don't get too used to him because I'm gonna be out again next year, hopefully."

" Oh that's too bad. I was kind of hoping we could be classmates again. I'm talking to Ms. Hatzilakos about maybe coming back next year."

"Really? I don't think Degrassi is ready for the new and improved Ashley Kerwin. Too bad I won't be here to see it…"

"I'm sorry Jimmy. You simply don't have the credits. I can't work miracles," Ms. Hatzilakos said regretfully. "If you want to graduate from Degrassi, you're going to have to repeat your senior year."

...

"Ash! Some best friend. You couldn't have e-mailed?" Ellie said running over and throwing her arms around the girl.

Ashley laughed. "What and ruin the surprise? You look amazing El!"

" Likewise. Who else got to see you so far?"

" Most of the old gang. Jimmy, Paige, Hazel, no sign of Craig though."

" He's in Vancouver recording the big solo record extravaganza. He's doing awesome. Record label can't wait for his album to drop."

"Really? Wow. I'm glad you two are keeping in touch."

"Well, we got a lot closer after you left."

"I guess I knew he was always destined for greatness," Ashley said wistfully.

" Don't be so sure. He's dating Manny."

" Ew. That makes me vaguely itchy. And someone sounds jealous."

"Not even," Ellie said with a laugh. "So how's Alistair, aka Ali, aka your London lad?

"It was good and then it was bad and then it was over. How about you?"

" Oh I'm crushing on someone as usual, but um it'll never happen…as usual." Ashley looked at her knowingly.

...

"Have you heard from Craig?" Emma asked flopping on to the bed."Is he coming back or graduation?"

"I don't know. He hasn't mentioned it and he has a lot of work to do on his album."

"But it's graduation!" Emma exclaimed.

"I don't want to talk about it, Em."

...

Ellie and Ashley put down their shopping bags and stopped at a café to have coffee. "How did I manage to get along without you for so long?" Ellie sighed.

Ashley grinned, "I honestly do not know. But you did manage to climb your way out of that goth phase without me."

"Hey no one's more emo than Ashley Kerwin."

"Stop!" Ashley said with a laugh. "But for real. Did your crush inspire the new wardrobe."

" Ellie Nash, my biggest fan," Jimmy said as he rolled up to their table. Ellie blushed and ducked her head.

"Hey Jimmy", she said as she grabbed her stuff. The two of them had slowly moved towards becoming friends again but she was afraid he might have overheard her conversation with Ashley and figure out that they were talking about him. "You know I promised my mom some time together before graduation. I should head out." She gave Ashley a hug before leaving and glanced once more at Jimmy before walking away.

"Was is something I said?" Jimmy asked.

"I think it was something you heard. Ellie was telling me about her crush/"

"Her crush?" Jimmy had been hoping to tell Ellie that he was ready to take a chance before graduation but now with Ms. H's news that he wasn't going to graduate, he wasn't sure if it was fair to ask Ellie to date him when he wouldn't even be going to college with her.

"Yeah, I think she's crushing on," Ashley didn't notice the hopeful look in Jimmy's eyes. " … Craig. She pretty much told me so."

"She did?"

"Yeah. Can't you tell? She gave me the complete update on him. They talk every night practically. And she's totally jealous of Manny. It makes total sense."

"Yeah. I guess it does," Jimmy said to himself. _Who wants to date a cripple who can't even graduate high school?, _he continued silently.

...

"And now as we head off in every direction let us remember the ties we have to each other and to Degrassi because the best thing about the past …" Jimmy watched from the back of the auditorium as Marco delivered the final address to the graduates. He felt someone behind him and looked up to see Spinner standing next to him.

"So there they go," Jimmy said. "Our class onto a brighter future."

"You should have been up there man."

" It'll be our turn next year, right?"

" Sorry, are we actually having a conversation?"

"Look, I spent a lot of time this year blaming people. You especially and that was wrong. I forgive you Spinner. Being in this chair, it's what I make of it, no matter how I got

here."

" Jimmy I –," Spinner began.

"It's cool. I know. We started this thing together Gavin and it looks like we're going to finish it." Spinner reached down to hug his friend just as the graduates threw their caps into the air.

...

Everyone stood on the front steps of the school. The graduates pushed and shoved playfully as they settled down for one final picture. They were so caught up in their happiness they almost didn't notice Craig coming up the block.

"Craig!" Ellie yelled running into this arms. He dropped his guitar and picked her up, spinning her around on the sidewalk. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be recording. When did you get here? Are you back home for good?"

"Whoa Ellie, Ellie, slow down," Craig said. "You didn't think I'd miss my best friends graduating? Where's Jimmy?" But at the sight of Craig and Ellie together, Jimmy had already rolled away.

"Jimmy? Jimmy?! Everyone's looking for you," Ashley said chasing him down the corridor. "One last picture with the whole gang. Craig, Ellie, everyone's waiting."

At the sound of her name Jimmy lost it. "I'm not a part of the gang anymore Ash," Jimmy said hotly. "I'm just a stupid guy who couldn't even pass high school."

"Jimmy you fell behind. It's not your fault. You were _shot _for God's sakes."

"That's the problem. I'm stuck in this stupid chair. I don't have a life, I don't have a girl."

"Look you're an amazing guy. You deserve to be with someone who adores you."

" I'm gonna let you in on a secret, Ash. Girls don't date guys in wheelchairs." Jimmy had barely finished his sentence when Ashley kissed him.

"You were saying?" Ashley said as she pulled away. Jimmy was so amazed he didn't notice Ellie standing behind her, distraught.

...

"You miss me?" Craig said coming up behind Manny.

"I can't believe you came."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world. Plus, I wanted to see you before I head back to the recording studio."

"You could have told me you were coming Craig," Manny said.

"I'm full of surprises, Manuella."

"As long as their the good kind," Manny said with a laugh. She kissed him passionately and held on. Who knew when they would see each other again?

...

_A few months later, _ Manny stood in the airort looking at the arrivals schedule. "Waiting for someone?" said a voice behind her.

" Nobody in particular," she replied nonchalantly without turning around.

"Oh."

" Just this guy. Tall, curly hair, pretty cute."

"Mm. So, he's like your boyfriend?" the voice asked.

"Boyfriend? I don't know. I haven't seen him for months and he hardly ever calls."

"Wow. Guy sounds like a real jackass. Sure you want to keep seeing him?"

" Like I said, he's pretty cute." Manny turned around and kissed Craig sweetly. "I missed you, you jerk," she said slapping him.

"Ow! I know. I missed you too. It's so good to see you again. I just wish I could stay longer."

"Well I'm sure we can pack a lot into the next few days together."

...

Manny was beat. Ever since Craig had come home they'd been all over the place, his soundchecks, hanging out with Marco and Ellie and she still had school and auditions to prepare. It was a little annoying listening to Craig and Ellie pontificate about allusions and metaphor in his songs but Craig was great at working with her and encouraging her. Still, between her schedule and his it had been a hectic couple of days. One thing was for sure Craig understood her. The two of them were a dynamic couple, with his music and her acting. They were both chasing that high that you only get from performing. She just wished she had his boundless energy. With a sigh she got ready to go to Craig's performance.

"He must be so excited. I bet he's going to be so great tonight," Manny said with a huge grin as she and Emma got their hands stamped.

" He's music personified, ya di da. I know," Emma deadpanned.

" But Em we so completely get each other," she thought back to her audition when she felt like she was flying. The only other time she felt like that was when she kissed Craig. "It's so good."

Sean looked at Manny's serene expression, "Before he got here, you were pretty down on the guy. What changed?"

" We just reconnected. I can't explain it Sean. It's magic. I'm going to go wish him luck." Manny headed towards the backstage area and went straight into Craig's dressing room without knocking. "Special delivery," she began but paused when she saw Craig sitting across the room. He was bent low over a line of cocaine. He snorted it, then looked up and saw her. His face started to fall as if he was about to explain when one of the roadies called him on stage.

Craig didn't know what to say. "Wish me luck?" he said hopefully.

"Break a leg … I guess," Manny said but she didn't know how to react. She walked back to the front to watch Craig perform and this time she saw it. The manic look in his eyes as he looked at the audience. The strain in his voice as he hit his high notes. The crowd started to applaud as she headed for the door.

"Manny. Manny!," Craig called as he hopped down from the stage but she was already gone.

...

The next day, Manny went over to Joey's house to see Craig who was still asleep. She sat at the counter with Angie while she waited for him to come downstairs.

"G'morning," Craig said yawning.

"Daddy says Craig gets to sleep 'til noon because he's a rock star now," Angie said.

"That's right kiddo," Craig said ruffling her hair. "And I get eat pizza for breakfast."

"Yeah Craig does a lot now that he's a rock star," Manny said pointedly. "Ang, can you go outside? I need to say some stuff to Craig."

Craig waited until the door closed behind Angie. "Say away."

" Last night with the-," Manny couldn't bring herself to say it so she mimed snorting the coke.

"You told me to break a leg."

" I should have told you to break your head. Why? Why do you do it?"

" When I get nervous, it's like my synapses have a party. I need a little confidence boost sometimes. It's no big deal."

" How often is sometimes?"

" Please I've done it like twice. You know that feeling. That buzz you get from being onstage or in front of a camera. Sometimes when I'm tired, I need some help getting there. I thought you'd understand."

"I don't think I understand this," Manny said sadly.

...

Craig pushed his bag off his bed. _She doesn't understand, _Craig thought to himself as he rummaged through his things looking for his stash, _I'm not an addict. It's no big deal. I'm finally doing what I want and I'm good at it. She's just trying to bring me down. That's what she does. First the baby. Now this. She doesn't want us to be happy. _

"Craig?" Joey said walking into the room. "What's going on?"

"Nothing Joey," Craig said standing up quickly. "I'm just repacking my stuff. My bag fell over."

"Ok." Joey looked down at the ground and saw a small bag of white powder. "What's this?" He picked it up and smelled it. "Craig … are you doing drugs?"

Craig looked Joey in the eyes and he knew he couldn't disappoint him again. "Manny is."

...

Manny knocked on the door of Joey's house. She didn't want to leave things with Craig the way she had. She wanted him to get help. Joey answered the door with a stern look on his face.

"Hi Mr. Jeremiah," Manny said. "Is Craig here?"

"You're not welcome in my home Manny," Joey said coldly.

"What do you mean?" Manny said puzzled. "Since when?"

"Since you brought drugs around my song and daughter."

"Drugs?"

"Look Manny, I know you've made some bad choices before and maybe now that you're an actress, you're trying some new things but I can't allow you to hurt Angela or Craig." Joey opened the door a bit more and Manny could see Craig standing behind him in the foyer. She looked at him with tears shining in her eyes, willing him to tell the truth. "Manny," Joey continued. "You may not be my child but I did think of you like a daughter. I can't believe you'd hurt Angie like this. Please leave."

Manny gave Craig one last pleading look but he didn't say a word. Abruptly, she turned and walked away. "Manny wait!" Craig cried out after her but Joey shut the door and locked it.

"You're better off without her," Joey said with finality.

...

"Ellie, I need to talk to you." Manny stood on the doorstep of Ellie and Marco's apartment. "Look, I know we aren't the best of friends but I can't help Craig now and you're the only person I could think of. I know you two have your inside jokes and witty repartee but Craig's been lying to everyone. He's been doing drugs and I'm afraid he's addicted."

"Why are you telling me this? Why are you helping him?"

"Because I can't help Craig anymore," Manny said. And with that she walked away.

...

"Manny? Doing _cocaine_?" Tessa said incredulously. She propped her feet up while Joey rubbed them. The two of them had been dating casually for almost a year now, long enough for Tessa to get to know Manny but not well enough for her to get comfortable sharing her secret with the girl. She felt sorry for her now listening to Joey recount how he'd kicked her out of the house.

"I wouldn't have believed it myself but Craig told me how he walked in on her before an audition. He said he took it from her but didn't know how to get rid of it. I know Manny's been pretty screwed up ever since the abortion but this is unforgiveable. How could I trust her around Angie? And it's not like Craig doesn't have enough problems being bi-polar."

"But she seems like such a sweet girl."

"Yeah a sweet girl who's had an abortion, flashed her breasts and God knows what else and snorted cocaine all before graduating high school."

"Hey, I wasn't so different from Manny back then. Remember how I used to dress and I was god awful chasing you around."

Joey kissed her on the lips. "You weren't half as bad as Manny. And you never got pregnant or did drugs."

Tessa took a deep breath. "You're right I never did drugs but … I did get pregnant."

"What? When?" Joey felt a sinking in his stomach. "Who?"

"During the summer, after graduation when we were together."

"But we – you never told me."

"I never told anyone. I went by myself to get an abortion."

"But I would've … I would've taken care of you." Joey stood up. He was in shock and he needed to put some distance between himself and Tessa's revelation.

Tessa looked at him helplessly. "Joey everyone knew you were in love with Caitlin. _I _knew you were in love with her. I just hoped you'd fall in love with me instead. When you got back together with her … I couldn't raise a baby. I was only a child."

"Our baby. My baby. You just got rid of it?"

"Joey listen to me – ," Tessa began.

"I need you to leave."

"Joey!"

"Now." Joey walked away and listened for the sound of the door closing. He felt like his world was falling down around him.

...

Ellie walked into the backstage area and found Craig hunched over a line of coke. "So it's true," she said.

"Ellie look, I can explain."

"Either stop now or I call Joey and tell him about this. It will all end. The touring, the music, all of it. Over."

"I do this for the music!" Craig yelled. "How do you think I go on every night? How do you think I write those songs you fawn over? Just leave me alone!"

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"You know why Craig," Ellie said, "Because I care about you." Craig moved closer to her. "Because I love you."

" I love you Ellie," Craig said pulling her close.

" I love you too."

Craig started to kiss her, "So don't make me stop. Please. I need it. Don't call Joey."

"Get off of me!" Ellie said pushing away. "You bastard. You'll say whatever it takes to get your hands on this, won't you?! I love you Craig, like a friend. A friend who's strong enough to tell you that you need help." She turned around and headed straight to Joey's.

...

"He left this morning," Ellie said to Manny. The girl was looking haggard and wasted, like she hadn't slept in days. "Joey packed up the house and he and Angie and Craig are driving to Winnipeg. There's a treatment facility there and Joey and Angie rented a place nearby."

"What about Tessa?" Manny asked.

"I don't know. Joey wouldn't talk about it. He said they all needed a fresh start."

"Did Craig ask about me?" Manny asked, trying not to let a note of hope fall into her voice.

"He was pretty angry. He barely spoke to me after I ratted him out and whenever I tried to mention you he changed the subject."

Manny nodded but her eyes were sad. "It's better that way," she said. "We all need a fresh start."


	17. Rescue You

**Chapter 17: Rescue You**

_(I was switched of like a light/A fighter with no fight)_

Manny stood on the stage in front of her acting class. She knew she sounded wooden but she plodded through the scene anyway. Initially, when Manny started her acting classes she was excited. She was truly learning her craft and being able to act every day was made her happier than she'd ever been. But lately she was second-guessing her every move and her acting was beginning to suck because of it.

"Stop!" her teacher cried out, "Manny didn't we talk about you trying to cry in this scene?"

"I thought I'd try something else," Manny said hesitantly. She could tell from the expression on his face that he was about to tear into her and by the time he finished she was on the verge of crying. She finished the scene on the verge of tears.

"Manny, a quick word?" Mick said as the rest of the class was packing up. Manny felt a bit apprehensive but when she walked over he grabbed her and pulled her backstage for a kiss. "Are you not sure that I'm crazy about you?" he asked.

Manny took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "I'm sure."

(_Staring up at the stars/ Giving into the dark_)

"He's not getting better, Ellie," her mom said through the phone. "You need to com see him. Maybe it will help."

"I can't right now mom. I have a deadline and mid-terms. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Ellie that's not –" Ellie hung up the phone before her mom could finish. She looked up at the stars and took a deep breath before going back inside the apartment.

"Hey El, I just got off the phone with Paige. I'm not sure if we're going to be able to go out there during the break. She sounds kind of overwhelmed."

"It's not a big deal. I should probably be working on stuff for the paper anyway."

"I thought you said you were mostly finished with our article for The Blaze."

"Yeah well some other stuff came up," Ellie said with a weak smile.

"Hey have you heard from Jimmy lately?" Marco asked.

"I barely hear from Jimmy any more. Ever since he and Ashley broke up and he left town for that surgery."

"Well he's coming back," Marco said. "He should be here in a few days. Ellie thought back to high school. When she thought she and Jimmy might have a chance. Before Ashley came back. But that was so long ago.

"I hope he's doing good," Ellie said before she walked upstairs to be with her thoughts.

(_Burned out like a match/ At the low end of the crash_)

Manny walked out of the audition with her head hung low. She'd never done so horribly. And to fail in front of Jason Mewes who'd had so much faith in her. Mick was right. She wasn't ready. She wasn't an actress. She was just an amateur.

(_The moon glowed like a star/ How did things go so far?_)

Craig placed the plate of eggs in front of his girlfriend, Yvette, and gave her a kiss. "You're too good to me," Yvette said. Craig smiled and sat down next to her.

"Believe me, you're way too good _for _me," Craig replied. He never thought he'd be here. Between his illness and rehab, he never thought he'd see the day when he'd be living on his on is L.A., making music, living with a girl he enjoyed and just being happy. He was as far away from Degrassi as possible and it was wonderful.

(_Somehow you saw someone worth saving_)

"You are going to L.A. with Jay," Emma said with conviction.

"I think that's the last thing on earth I want to do. As if I didn't embarrass myself in front of Jason enough, now you want me to sit in a bus with Jay for days just to do it all over again."

"You let Mick psych you out the first time. This time, you need to put him out of your mind and make it happen. Kevin believes in you. You were Mewes' first choice for Trixie, just show him why he wanted you in the first place."

Manny heard Mick's voice again. _"You're still the untalented girl who crawled out of my bed this morning." _

"I don't know Emma."

"Well it's a good thing I do. You're going."

(_You pulled me back into the light_)

Ellie stepped off the plane into the bright Los Angeles sunshine. "I can't believe Paige lives here," she said.

"I can't believe we put off being her entourage until now," Marco said as he looked around. Suddenly, he grabbed Ellie's arm. "Is that David Beckham?!" he squealed.

"I don't think so," Ellie replied. "But he is kind of cute."

Marco smiled as he took in all the guys around them. "Eleanor, you and I are going to have a great time."

(_Now if ever I can rescue you/ When you need two arms to fall into_)

"Ok, I'm setting some ground rules now," Manny said. They'd been driving for almost a day and she hadn't been able to work on anything. "I need quiet to work on my audition. I need to work through the emotional beats of the song."

"You can't practice a song in your head," Peter said. "You just have to go for it."

"Ok, fine." Manny said with determination. She took a deep breath and began to sing but from the first note she cold tell how off it sounded.

"Um, yeah …." Sav said. "We'll leave you to practice."

(_You know exactly where I'll be/ Just look for me_)

"Craig?"

"Ellie Nash!"

Ellie could believe she was running into Craig in L.A. of all places. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm living here. I've been – hey I have a show tonight at the Highland Grounds. You should come."

"I will," Ellie said smiling.

Craig looked at her with amusement. "Ellie Nash … in L.A. Who'd've thought?"

(_When it seems like you have lost it all/ And you feel like you're in free fall_)

Manny sat on the steps of the bus, deconstructing the beats of the song while the boys took a bathroom break. "I don't get what I'm doing wrong."

"Maybe you're overthinking it," Jay said. "The Manny Santos I know just acted from the heart."

"Well, the Manny Santos that you know was just an amateur. I'm trying to get a part in a Hollywood film Jay. This isn't some second-rate Canadian melodrama. Maybe Mick was right." Manny pulled out her phone to dial Mick and Jay snatched it away.

"Nuh-uh. No more Professor Sociopath. Not on my watch," he chucked the phone into the woods.

"Jay! I can't believe you did that," Manny screamed. "What do you expect me to do? I'm not ready for this, is that what you want me to say? That I'm stupid? That I'm just a joke? Ok, I am. It's true. I'm not ready, I'm just not ready! Is that what you want to hear?" She started to cry to break down.

Jay lifted her head and looked her in the eye. "No, Manny. What I want you to do is that all that emotion, all that anger and go and kill that audition. Like I know you can."

(_When every promise turns to dust/ And there's no one left to trust_)

"Ellie we need to talk," Marco said. "Your mom called me."

"Why would she call you?"

"You know why. Your dad is sick El. You need to go see him."

"I don't want to talk about this Marco." Marco looked down and saw that she was packing her clothes.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Craig's."

"Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Go from one problem to another. Do you remember what happened last time you and Craig hung out? He tried to manipulate you into letting him do coke. Hell he tried to make you believe Manny was an addict."

"It's different this time. Craig is sober and I'm over him."

"Sure you are. Let me know how that works out."

(_When you're punching at the sky/ And you're out of alibis_)

"_Manny, Manny wake up." Manny opened her eyes to find Craig standing over her. "Go get Mommy's present," he said. _

"_Here mommy," a little girl said. She jumped on the bed and handed Manny a homemade card. "It says 'Break a Leg'. Daddy helped me write it. Why do you want to break a leg mommy?" _

"_It's just an expression, sweetie. It means good luck."_

"_You don't need any luck," Craig said. "You're going to knock them dead. Just like you always do. You are the most talented and most beautiful woman I've ever known. And I'm so happy you're my wife." He crawled into bed next to her. "I love you." _

"_I love you too," Manny said, pulling him close. She kissed him deeply. She'd never felt more at peace. _

"Pit stop!" Jay said as he pulled up next to the roadside tavern. Manny woke up slowly. It was a dream she didn't want to forget.

(_I know how this feels/ When the wounds don't want to heal_)

"So what happened with you and Ashley?" Ellie asked. She and Craig were walking on the pier after a long day hanging out on the beach. It felt so wonderful to be here with Craig. Not thinking about her dad or Jimmy or anything else.

"We went on tour in Europe. She stayed. And I came here. And that's the end of the Craig/Ashley love saga."

"It wasn't so much of a saga, as unfinished business," Ellie said astutely. "What about you and Manny? There's a saga."

"There's not much to say about me and Manny," Craig said trying to change the subject.

"Craig you wrote a song about her, remember? 'Thong Girl/Wrong Girl'"

"I never meant for that to go on the album," Craig said. "I was pretty angry. First with her for leaving me and then with myself for what I did to her. Lying to Joey and you about the drugs being hers. Anyway, I wrote that song when I was mad and the label wanted it on the album." Craig shook his head. "But it was never going to work. When I needed her most Manny wasn't there. That song I played for you, I wrote it for you. When I was at my lowest you pulled me back."

Ellie smiled hesitantly. She wanted to tell Craig the truth but right now it felt nice. Knowing that she could save someone. That she wasn't helpless. "Thank you for the song," she said with a smile. "And this day."

(_But I won't forget your grace/ Or the beauty of your face_)

Jimmy sat on the plane on his way back to Toronto. He couldn't wait to get back and see everyone. To surprise them. He took out his wallet and pulled out a picture of Ellie. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she saw him.

(_Somehow you saw someone worth saving/ You pulled me back into the light_)

Manny was on a total high and more determined to reach L.A. than ever. She'd just killed at the roadhouse and she was feeling more than ready for this audition. They'd even got the bus to work and were only a few hours from L.A. She finally felt like she was ready to put it all on the line.

(_Now if ever I can rescue you/ When you need two arms to fall into)_

"Have you called your mom?" Marco was barely in the door before he was questioning Ellie.

"No, I haven't. Welcome back Ellie. Did you have a good time at Craig's?"

"Well I would assume not since you're back here."

"Actually I had a great time. I just left because Craig's girlfriend came back from Maui and I wanted to give them some alone time."

"Craig has a girlfriend? And you're ok with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I told you. I'm over him. I'm going to go get ready for Paige's party. I suggest you do the same."

(_You know exactly where I'll be/ Just look for me_)

"Jimmy?!" Spinner said in disbelief. "Oh my God, Jimmy." Spinner could not believe it. Jimmy Brooks had just _walked _into The Dot.

"Hey Spin."

"What – How – When?" Spinner said.

"The surgery worked … somewhat," Jimmy pointed to the cane he was using. "I get tired but I'm out of my chair."

"Jimmy, I'm so happy for you."

"I heard you got shot too. I figured it was karma. I guess I can let you off the hook now," Jimmy said with a smile. "Where is everyone else? I figured they'd be here."

"Well, it looks like you picked the right time come home. Everyone is in L.A. Manny, Jay, Marco, Paige, even Ellie. But there's something going on with Ellie's family. Her mom was in here looking for her a few days ago. Something about her dad."

(_When it seems like you have lost it all/ And you feel like you're in free fall_)

"Mom, mom it's not that simple. I'm thousands of miles away." Ellie was trying to keep her voice down but her mom was getting more hysterical. "Of course I care mom. I just – Mom? Mom?!" Ellie listened to the sound of the dial tone in disbelief. She walked over to the bar, grabbed a bottle of vodka and slipped away.

...

"Marco, have you seen Ellie?"

"No I haven't, and even if I had I wouldn't tell you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You do this all the time Craig. You get girls like Ellie and Manny to fall all over you with the whole tortured rocker thing and then you mess with their heads. Ellie has real problems going on right now. Her father is sick. She doesn't need you messing with her."

"I don't want to mess with her. I want to talk to her. I could tell something was wrong but I got all uncomfortable with her and Yvette there, so I let her leave."

"We need to find her."

"I think I know where she might have gone."

(_Going deep into the blue/ I will rescue you_)

Craig and Marco ran on to the beach. They both scanned the water hastily. "Ellie!" Marco called. Craig spotted her first. "There!" He and Marco went barreling towards the ocean.

Ellie could feel the saltwater spraying in her face. She stumbled as the waves crashed into her. She just wanted to succumb to it. She wanted to let go. She'd already given so much up. The chance to see her dad, the chance to tell Jimmy how she felt. Why couldn't she just let go one more time?

"Ellie!" She felt Craig's arm scoop her up and pull her back from the brink. Then Marco's arms were around her too.

"I'm fine, I'm ok," she said. But she knew she was lying. She wasn't fine. And she wasn't sure she would be.

(_I fell into that hole before/ And I walked into that slamming door_)

"Are you ready?" Jay asked.

"Yes, finally." Manny stood on top of the bus and from the first moment, she felt the same way she'd felt in that dream … at peace.

"Cause standing on the stage is where I belong," Manny sang. "Life is a show!"

"Hey Manny!" Jason Mewes called from the office window. "You're Trixie."

"I got the part!" Manny called back.

"You _are _the part!" Mewes called back. Manny smiled. This time she didn't doubt it for a second.

(_And I faded away/ To where you are today_)

"I'm sorry for acting like such an idiot last night," Ellie said. "I wasn't trying to kill myself."

"I know," Craig replied. "Marco told me about your father."

"I should go see him, right? It's just that – I've always been able to fix things. My mom, you. I can't fix this."

"No one expects you to," Craig said.

(_Now if ever I can rescue you/ When you need two arms to fall into_)

"Thanks for coming to see me off," Ellie said the next day at the airport. "I should probably just go, security can take a while. Thanks for all your help."

"Call it even," Craig said with a smile. The two of them hugged and Craig turned to walk away. Ellie grabbed her bag and started to walk away. She was almost at the security when she turned and saw Craig looking at her. Dropping her bag, she ran at him. When they collided it was like two forces meeting. First their lips and then their bodies. Slowly, Ellie pulled away.

"I can't say I never thought about what that would be like."

"I thought about you all the time in rehab, Ellie. I should have told you the minute I saw you."

"Craig, I've thought about what it would be like to kiss you but I never thought I'd be saying this. When I gave you that ultimatum, when I forced you to go to rehab, I did it because Manny told me to. She came to my house and told me about the drugs. She said that you'd turned Joey against her and she couldn't help you anymore. Manny is the one who rescued you. Not me."

Craig took a step back. He was trying to process what Ellie was telling him. "We were always great friends Craig but we were never meant to be together like this. I didn't want you to feel like you owed me. I pulled you back from the edge and you did the same for me." Ellie smiled. "We'll always have L.A.". she said. She kissed his cheek softly and headed back to the gate.

...

Manny walked Jay back to the school bus. "So I guess this is good-bye," Jay said.

"You know I couldn't have done this without you Jay," Manny said. "You got me to L.A. You made me sing at that roadhouse. You helped me get my mojo back."

"You always had it," Jay replied. "You just forgot to see what I see every time I look at you." Jay took a deep breath. "You know I love you right?"

Manny smiled back at him. "I know," she said warmly.

Jay kissed her cheek. "I'm really proud of you." He turned to walk away.

"Wait!" Manny called out. "I'll be back soon you know."

"Manny Santos, the only way you'll be back soon is if Hollywood is too stupid to see what I do. And if they are, then screw them." Jay got back on the bus, closed the door and drove off with a wave.

(_You know exactly where I'll be/ Just look for me_/ _Oh look for me_)

Ellie came off the plane anxiously. She had rehearsed what she was going to say to her father but nothing sounded right. She was so lost in her thoughts she almost didn't see who was standing in front of her. "Jimmy?" she said.

He was standing in front of her … standing. "What?"

"Marco told me what time you were coming in. I figured you were going to see your father and I thought you might want some company."

Ellie looked at Jimmy and smiled. Then without warning she reached up and kissed him passionately. When she pulled away Jimmy looked at her with astonishment. "I forgot how tall you were," Ellie said bashfully.

"Ellie Nash, what was that for?"

"It was something I should have done a long time ago," Ellie replied. "I've got some second chances and I don't want to waste them."

(_When it seems like you have lost it all/ And you feel like you're in free fall_)

"Craig, come to bed!" Yvette called from the next room.

"In a minute!" Craig called back. He put down his guitar and pulled out some photos he had stashed in his guitar case. Pictures of Joey and Angie, as well as Jimmy, Marco and Ellie. He smiled ruefully as he looked at the photos. So many memories that he'd buried. He flipped through until he came to a picture of Manny. She'd sent it to him when he was on the road. It was a picture of her and Angie at the park. He turned it over. _We miss you, Love Manny_, was written on the back.

He didn't know what to do with what Ellie had told him. He'd spent so much time blaming Manny for not being there. For not being as strong as he wished she'd been. And after that had passed he'd spent so much time being ashamed of himself. Now he realized that he hadn't even plumbed the depths of that shame. One thing that Craig had always been bad at was admitting when he was wrong and now so much time had passed, he didn't know if he could. This time, the only one who could fix this was him.

(_Going deep into the blue/ I will rescue you_)


End file.
